Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island

Please see the headline and use your imagination. :)

You have been warned.

When I stumbled upon this 2021 movie "Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island" from writer and director Steve Lawson, I must admit that the fact that the cover had a massive crocodile on it and that it stated "based on actual events" made me want to watch it.

But of course I was having that gnawing voice at the back of my head telling me that this will be another bad creature feature. But still, I opted to sit down to watch it.

And as it would turn out, then "Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island" was indeed a bad creature feature. In fact, it is a not a movie that I would recommend you waste your time, money or effort on.

The movie takes place during the year of 1945 where we follow a very small British task force trying to make their way to a Japanese installation on some island. But they have to make haste and cross across swamp land to get to their objective. But the swamp is the territory of ferocious crocodiles.

Now, it should be said that the movie didn't really have all that much action with crocodiles in it. It was mostly just the audience following the British soldiers as they sat around bickering or accusing each other for their predicament. So it was essentially more of a boring drama than it was an action movie.

And whether or not this movie is actually based on true events, I know not, nor do I really care after having seen the movie. But if British troops did lead a battalion of Japanese soldiers into crocodile infested swamplands would be a nifty tactical way of thinking outside the box.

The acting in the movie was nothing to write home about. I am sure that the actors were doing their best, but they virtually had nothing solid or noteworthy to work with in terms of script, storyline, dialogue or interesting characters.

"Saltwater: The Battle for Ramree Island" lands a generous two out of ten stars from me.

Not worth watching.

Barely any crocodiles in it.

I had to FF most of it.

The best way to watch this movie is with the sound down while wearing a blind fold.

I am honestly so shocked at how bad this movie was, that I won't even bother explaining it. Story was horrible, acting was horrible, effects were horrible, and the list goes on.

Anyone who gives this movie over a 1 or 2 was either a part of the movie, related to someone in the movie, or paid to rate it highly. Period.

Well well well, finally a found of my own, a The Room, a Plan 9 from Outer Space, a movie that is genuinely bad, and not intentionally.

Truly so many moments when you're just: This is not possible, this is just not happening! But Oh No! It is possible, it is happening and even so, it's going and going for more!

Once I realized there is no point in taking this seriously, I really let myself go and just had a laugh. Bloody hell I laughed, I giggled, I genuinely had fun because it is amazing how much Saltwater takes itself seriously, while giving you gems like: people that are in just over the ankles water, get pulled under by crocodiles. Crocodile close ups of clearly baby crocs taken from other footage or perhaps taken in a zoo. Characters that make no sense but are there and genuinely feeling the tension of the situation.

I mean come on, you have to take this as a laugh and just go all the way with it. It was fun and I do recommend it in a small group, perhaps even a drinking game for every time the word "bleeding" is there to replace the f bomb.

Cheers!