A Recipe for Seduction

I need a sequel. That was a Chicken Little and I at least need a $5 fill up to satiate me. I appreciate all the quintessential Lifetime tropes so well portrayed in a condensed format. It was high stakes but I am glad the mustache was unscathed.

As our saga begins we are greeted with a dinner scene containing aggressive caucasity, some fried chicken and a failed proposal. The plot line goes from here as our unhappy, rich white characters go on complaining about all aspects of their lives...except one. The dinner was awful and yet the chicken was amazing. This brings our viewer to meet our protagonist, the new chef, Colonel Sanders. The audience needs no explanation of military rank or how he ended up working for these people and we don't care. The Colonel's bulging biceps, under a shirt that is simultaneously perfect and one size too small, grab the attention of both the viewer and our unhappy Gringa leading lady. There is some plot between a bitter boyfriend and a conniving mother wherein the acting leaves the audience speechless and confused as we clutch our pearls in anticipation of where this movie could possibly be going. Overall, the best acting came from the Colonel's salt and pepper hair which seems to almost levitate above the head of Mario Lopez. The movie was both too much and not enough since it left me wanting more...a perfect analogy to what it's like to eat KFC.

This movie sucks so bad but GODDAMN is it fun

That's the only reason I'm giving it a 2 and not a 1 go watch it it's on youtube

Bad acting, Bad plot, Bad directing. A little something for everyone, 10/10

Look, it's obvious that KFC isn't going to get by on the quality of its food alone, so Colonel Sanders used the last vestiges of his power to create what is, in no exaggeration, the crowning achievement that cinema has been building up to for over 100 years. Contained within this 16 minute masterpiece is the sweeping romance of "Titanic," the suspense of "The Silence of the Lambs," and the action of "Die Hard," all distilled into their purest forms. I laughed, I cried, I was moved. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get a bucket of finger lickin' good Kentucky Fried Chicken.



No but I really did laugh A LOT.