हेमेट, या मकान मालकिन चाय नहीं पीतीं

BayView Entertainment dropped the low-budget flick "Hemet, or the Landlady Don't Drink Tea" on Digital and VOD platforms on November 26th, and I finally got around to watching it at 5 a.m. Today. This movie really carves out its own niche: you could call it a filthy slasher drama, and that pretty much sums up the wild ride it offers.

If you're into humor that's dark and a bit raunchy, and you don't mind some over-the-top social and political jabs, then Hemet is definitely worth checking out. I found myself both entertained and laughing at the mix of crude jokes and clever satire that was so bad it somehow worked in its favor.

Directed by Tony Olmos and written by Brian Patrick Butler, the film revolves around a strange group of folks forced to live in a rundown apartment building run by the deranged Liz, played by Butler in drag with a ton of makeup. She keeps her tenants-Martin (Merrick McCartha), Gary (Matthew Rhodes), Howie (Pierce Wallace), and Tank (Nick Young)-in check with threats of eviction, rent hikes, or losing perks like their parking spots.

For me, the standout moment in Hemet is Brian Patrick Butler's performance as Liz. She's scheming and snarling, delivering lines like, "You better get a second job sucking dick or selling bath salts because your rent just went up a hundred dollars a month..." and "I drink four things: blood, cum, coke, and rum... and I've already had three of those today!"

Here's a fun and hilarious flick that hits all the right notes in everything it sets out to be: dark comedy, horror, satire, farce and a lot more going on. It's wickedly funny, and not in a "so-bad-it's-good" mode; with fun, thrilling and a little shocking bits, and a smart humor that pokes fun of all sides of a divided society: left and right cannot escape from criticism in the story and it's something that goes without heroes or people to root for, If you look closely to everything shown you'll see a basic criticism of recent times and events, with a dark humored and horrific perspective.

In simple terms, it's another apocalytical story revolving on zombie creatures and the survivors of a bizarre pandemic trying to lead their lives and basically fighting each other due to their personal differences. But there's a lot more happening and the real danger comes from the uncontaminated folks living on a place run by an old, crude and nasty landlady (Brian Patrick Butler) who simply doesn't care about her tenants, and always makes some scheme to leave them paranoid against each other. And at the same time, many of those tenants will make their own schemes against the old lady, and the salt bath infected zombies will be the least of the problems.

Won't say I was scarred by what was shown as I was more invested in the few thrills it offers (halfway through it becomes a whodunit of sorts with deaths that aren't related with the pandemic), and the many comedy bits with hilarious lines and sequences. Few bits worthy of mention are the banter between tough guy Tank and the Sheriff; the old lady in bed with the prostitute (poor guy was used so bad); and the title line revolving on what she actually drinks instead of tea. Sure, there's a few jaw-dropping moments here and there, and a few random things that don't make any sense but it's the absurdity of it all that conquer viewers easily, along with the enjoyable performances from the cast. Overall, an entertaining picture. 7/10.