You Hurt My Feelings

This is indeed a movie about feelings - the small stuff that feels huge, the little insecurities that loom large, the daily omissions that's pile up into dishonesty. And the thing is: every moment feels real enough to be recognizable and hilarious (and uncomfortable) all at once. And that's not just because I'm a middle aged guy who wants to be a writer and is scared to death his story/stories suck. This film felt relatable less because the circumstances mirrored my own and more because I'm a self conscious human. And my guess is we all are. This may not be a laugh at loud comedy, but it is about as relatable add it gets.

Write about what you know. That's the advice Beth (Julie Louis-Dreyfuss) dispenses to her writing students. It's also pretty much the path Writer-Director Nicole Holofcener has followed in her six feature films. Her stories center on urban upper middle class professionals.

Beth is an author who's latest novel hasn't sold yet and it's causing her some stress. Her husband, Don (Tobias Menzies), is a therapist who is also having some career doubts. They have a son (Owen Teague) who wants to be a playwright. Beth's sister, Sarah (Michaela Watkins), is an interior decorator who is becoming disenchanted with her work. Her husband Mark (Arian Moayed) is struggling actor. Plenty of first world angst to go around.

Holofcener and her cast are good enough to overcome some of the familiar tropes here and the theme of how to tread the line between honesty and (hurting one's) feelings is decently explored. David Cross and Amber Tamblyn as a passive aggressive couple in Don's care are terrific scene stealers. What's missing here is true bite. There's never a sense of either urgency or sharp insights. One never feels that any of the interlocking relationships are truly in peril. A hug, a kiss, or a hit of edible marijuana and all will be fine.

YOU HURT MY FEELINGS is a pleasant enough little movie, but, it's the epitome of a 'dramedy'- it falls just short of either of it's components.

This is a simple concept but carried out very well. Don (Tobias Menzies) and Beth (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) are a long-time, loving couple. They live in Manhattan. He is a Psychiatrist with what appears to be a thriving practice. She is a published writer who also teaches writing to small groups. They have a 23-yr-old son who works at a smoke shop and wonders what better might be in store for him.

Most of the first half hour of the movie establishes the setting and interactions between the couple, her mother, the son, some patients. Beth is writing her second book, her first novel, and seems to be having difficulty getting it published. Don always reads her drafts and tells her how good they are. He encourages her. Their relationship appears ideal.

Then it happens, Beth and her sister come upon Don in a shop, as they approach hear him tell his B. I. L. That he doesn't really think Beth's book is good but he praises it for her encouragement. Beth is devastated, she leaves without Don ever knowing that she overheard. Until days later, after Beth has been acting cold towards him.

And the rest of the movie is the real story, how they sort this out, how they develop an understanding of lying vs not hurting the others' feelings. In the process Don also learns how he might become a more effective Psychiatrist.

Good, interesting relationship movie. My wife and I watched it at home on DVD from our public library.

Sometimes it is good to go out on a date, and watch a movie that will not change the course of the night. It is neither hilarious or boring, just an interesting story that can happen to all of us, when we try to please our partner.

The cast is good, Julia Louis-Dreyfus can be funny without forcing it, so the movie flows well. The movie is flat, but not in a bad way, it is a good entertainment and goes fast, but you probably won't cry or burst out laughing. It is just a good movie, where you probably arrive and leave in a same state of mind, in peace.

There are some clever jokes, and some reflection about our own behavior, but nothing too deep.

Enjoy, without big expectations, just a good entertainment.

The issue of how we, if not lie, fib to our loved ones in order to either spare their feelings or be supportive. And the consequences of that well-intentioned lack of honesty are thoughtfully dramatized, as are the family dynamics between spouses, parents and children, and siblings. But even at a short (by today's standards) 90 minutes, the movie feels overlong, and while there is an occasional laugh, the entertainment quotient is disappointingly low given the talents of the parties involved. Bottom line: a worthwhile watch if one's expectations are very measured. And much more of a family drama than a comedy.