Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle

Surprised to see that there was a third instalment of the Birdemic franchise and wonder as to why it took so long to come out (the second film released in 2013). Nearly a decade later, and somehow this film managed to be worse than both previous films. It is as if director James Nguyen has not learned anything and that he doesn't have a good support team around him giving him advice and feedback.

Given its rating and majority negative reviews, am not surprised this film was terrible. Opposed to the first two films, those had somewhat a sense of campy awareness and had some cheesy fun.

This third film is simply just boring and drags on. The two leads here are terrible (lead actor isn't convincing and sounds unnatural while lead female seems like she doesn't want to be there- no chemistry).

As others have pointed out. The birds (animated cgi birds) don't appear until nearly an hour in the film. Also what bothers is the main characters were openly seeking to kill the birds (we see then wander in the forest and beach with guns looking to kill them- why did they just not leave the birds alone? The birds were not bothering them at that point. We also see random people on their street near their houses try attacking the birds. For them as well. Why did they not just leave the birds alone, go back in their house or go travel elsewhere in their cars?

Also like the previous films, there's a brief karaoke dance scene. The song here is worse and not as catchy and the leads dancing was cringe. Overall Birdemic 3 managed to be the worse of the series and is one of the worst films in history. We wonder, Is this it or will there be a fourth film on the future.

"Birdemic 3 came out today, and Nguyen is already planning a fourth. But all I can think about is Evan Husney's sad portrait of a man who desperately wants to be a respected filmmaker but is so unable to let go of the movie that made him a cult hit that he sabotages himself."

This is what Ed Glaser wrote on Twitter alongside a clip of James Nguyen in a documentary from Vice, displaying his apparent inability to move on from the Birdemic phenomenon -- while leaving us confused whether he understands how deeply hilarious his movie about the attack of the killer bird GIFs truly is, or at least why this is so.

After all, the previous movie was trying to be funny on purpose. Alas, it is typical for a "so bad that it's good" filmmaker to lack the self-awareness to understand why people were laughing in the first place (just look at what happens when Tommy Wiseau, director of the legendarily inept The Room, tries to make us laugh INTENTIONALLY with The Neighbors) and sure enough, Birdemic 2 was just plain unwatchable.

Now, for some reason, Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle IS actually kinda funny.

Nguyen leans into what made the original movie so transfixingly terrible (the constantly shifting audio quality, white balance, and saturation seem all the more jarring with the improved picture quality) but isn't trying to be cheeky about it. The impression I got was that of a filmmaker who, deep down, does think this all looks really cool and that these sub-PSA "insights" about global warming and environmentalism are genuinely profound (one is reminded of bad movie legend Neil Breen, who still plays everything straight, possibly because he knows how hilarious that makes him).

But then, the movie does come with the additional (depressing) undertone generated by what we know from the aforementioned documentary: this is all Nguyen has in him. I was pondering this as I watched, but promptly forgot about all that when I heard a track by Melodysheep (composed for his sublime YouTube doc about life in the cosmos and its inevitable fate) among the stock music.

He's got taste, that James Nguyen.

For a movie that "tries" to be the horror version of Captain Planet and failed royally (if that wasn't a clue from the last movies). It doesn't help that not only story doesn't improve , but there acting for the third time makes tommy wiseau look like John cena.

Outside of minor changes and by minor I mean mononucleosis changes...bad weapons, bad messages of climate change, bad cgi did I forget to say bad cgi birds? Yeesh just watch the birds and throw these 3 movies in the computer trash bin Before I go I will say this: it's really hard to say anything about this when the weapons are the same damn things.

I've watched a LOT of bad movies, it's my favorite genre. Tons of titles most people have never heard of. Some are okay, some are amazing, and a precious few have zero redeeming features. Birdemic 3 is the latter. It really is awful. The first hour is mostly people walking or driving from point A to point B, and you get to watch on real time the entire journey, usually with no dialog. One scene in particular had the 2 leads walking across a empty lot towards a small building. They are seen walking, then you see the building, implying that is where they are headed. If you've ever seen a movie, you understand that is their destination. But we get to realm with them, all 200 feet, in silence, but from a few different angles. It takes about 45 seconds, but it feels like a lifetime. And this is one of many scenes that drag on to get the run time to 80 minutes. It's painful. Not to mention when their is dialog, it's about how humans are ruining the planet and causing global warming. That's fine if it's an Al Gore documentary, but this is Birdemic. I want cheesy special effects, low budget gore, and bad one liners. The birds don't appear until almost the 60 minute mark, and the movie runs just around 80+ minutes.

If you're a completist like me, and you need to watch all three Birdemic movies, just know this is by far the worst of them. It took me 4 nights just to get through it, as I kept falling asleep.

It really is that hard to watch as it has nothing to keep your interest.

Granted, I didn't like the previous two movies, yet I still opted to sit down and watch this 2022 third movie in the series, titled "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle".

Was I expecting anything? Well, not really. I was hoping that they upped their game from the previous two abysmal movies, sure, but I wasn't harboring any expectations.

Writer and director James Nguyen delivered what had to have been the worst movie of 2022 here with "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle". Wow, just wow.

First of all, you have to wait 56 minutes before the birds make an appearance. And let's face it, the lousy animated birds from parts I and II is what drives you to go on to watch the third movie. I certainly was for me. And 56 minutes into a movie only 83 minutes long, before you are rewarded with those horrible animated birds that explode on impact.

Up to the 56 minute marker, the movie is nothing but a slow paced infomercial of how bad a state the Earth is in, about climate crisis, global warming and how humans are destroying the Earth. I am not kidding. It was literally all that was going; watching Ryan Lord and Julia Culbert walk around various locations and delivering gut-wrenching wooden dialogue about the state of the Earth.

The acting in the movie was toe-curling awful to witness. The performances were wooden and rigid at best. With absolute zero chemistry between the leading actor Ryan Lord (playing Evan) and leading actress Julia Culbert (playing Kim), and they both delivered performances that would make a dead man wake up and go "oh really now?" And the dance scene was just atrocious; never before have I seen such awkward and rigid dancing before my eyes. Actually there wasn't a single good performance throughout the 83 minutes of runtime that this infomercial for global warming and eco crisis ran for.

The movie is a dumpster fire of grand scale. The storyline is rubbish, especially since you have to wait close to an hour before those god awful animated birds show up. Then there was the issues with the lighting and quality of the picture, which kept alternating between shadowed haze and ordinary daylight. And the sound was equally bad; loud in some scenes and barely audible in others.

Visually then "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" was every bit as horrible as the previous two movies. With lousy animated birds, sea eagles this time, that exploded on impact and just using the same two frames of animated birds over and over. I mean, even when people were shooting and fending off birds with various tools, there weren't even birds in the picture most of the time.

But hey, at least "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" is good for a laugh once past the 56 minute marker.

"Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" from writer and director James Nguyen was bad, so very, very bad. My rating of "Birdemic 3: Sea Eagle" lands on a one out of ten stars. Without a doubt the worst movies I have stumbled upon from 2022.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this one. Some of us suffered through it, so you don't have to.