Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast

I adore B-grade shark movies, but this doesn't even come close to qualifying as B-grade. While not the absolute worst shark movie I have ever seen (that distinction goes to House Shark), it was pretty close.

The film's speed was off - more 'daytime soap' than 'movie', the dialogue was dreadful, and the lead actor's acting was atrocious. Surprisingly, and the acting of some of the support actors was actually passable.

After the first two minutes it was pretty easy to guess... I bet this is one of those where the writer, director, producer, and 'star' are all the same person. Yup. And half the cast are family. The rest are probably friends, girlfriends, or old college roommates.

Making this movie was probably a fun way for a bored group of family and friends to fill in some time, but the same certainly can't be said for watching it. If you really need something to fill in your time, try banging your head against a wall - it will probably be less painful than watching this.

12 years ago during a scientific expedition 3 animal biologists stumbled upon a great discovery that ended in tragedy.

Whatever killed them has awoken and now the legend of the Ancient Snow Beast could prove to be more than just a legend.

Well we know from like frame one what killed them cuz we see it.

I', surprised at reviews that say this is the worst movie ever. No way. Is it good? We that's relative. Low budget means it's not gonna be great. But it's really sort of funny and watchable.

And I don't think it's meant to be taken seriously. Plus, I've seen far worse acting in these kinds of movies.

It won't change your life, but it's watchable. And you will get a few laffs throughout.

Okay, this isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but really had to force myself to watch the entire thing. I lost interest two minutes into the movie.

Dialogue- stilted, off putting, uninteresting and flat. Characters- no real depth, these characters weren't even two dimensional, they were inverted. No on screen chemistry, talent or engaging characters to relate to. No one to cheer far.

Cinematography- Horrible, the color saturation was horrid. It's as if it was shot from a cell phone. Actually, I've got to correct myself, i've seen better movies that were shot from an iPhone.

This was just horrible all across the board. Acting, dialogue, characters, story, plot, execution/delivery of the story, no character arcs, nothing interesting.

I actually enjoyed cute cat videos on youtube more than this.

I imagine it was shot with a couple of friends, a couple of dollars and only a couple of hours, including the editing, retakes, and everyone's shooting schedule.

what a piece of crap.

Needless to say that I was not harboring a single expectation to this movie. I mean, a movie that is written by, directed by and starring the one and the same person is usually a questionable affair. And with a title such as "Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast", there were no doubt that this would be a questionable movie. But still, I opted to watch it, on account of it being a shark movie that I hadn't already seen.

Needless to say that I was not familiar with a single actor or actress on the cast list, and that was actually something that spoke in favor of the movie. The acting performances weren't actually all that shabby for a movie such as this.

The editing in the movie was insanely shoddy, but then again why wouldn't it be? Mark Polonia was involved in the editing, and he is the guy behind a heap of really, really questionable shark movies.

The effects in the movie were not great, but at least they weren't as bad as what you get in the movies written and directed by Mark Polonia. The sounds that the shark was making was just so insanely poor. It was beyond laughable that they opted to make the shark sound that way.

Sure, "Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast" was not a great movie, but there are far, far worse shark movies out there, even of a newer date.

My rating of "Snow Shark: Ancient Snow Beast" lands on a three out of ten stars.

As a shark film lover I was deeply disappointed with this film and how boring it turned out to. I thought a film as dumb as the idea of a snow shark would have been a lot more fun.

But I hoped for really funny kills, but no. Just screaming them blood stains on the snow. The acting was so flat, and awkward. None of the actors sold this film to you, and the digalog was honestly terrible. Like how could you not have fun and give it your all with a concept like this?

The shark had the deepest range of acting, and it's not even real.

I don't know how a film this short managed to out stay it's welcome, but here we are.