Christmas Craft Fair Massacre

I recently watched Christmas Craft Fair Massacre (2022) on Tubi. The storyline follows a group of Satan worshipers who head to a Christmas market for recruitment - and they might take people along whether they want to come or not.

This picture is written and directed by Bret McCormick (Highway to Hell) and stars Glen Coburn (Blood Suckers from Outer Space) and Tytus Berry (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Shark).

This is a movie with no budget, and it absolutely feels like it. The acting and writing are awkward and inauthentic, the cinematography resembles home video, and the dialogue quickly becomes annoying. There aren't any horror elements worth your time, though an elderly character may give you a brief chuckle.

In conclusion, Christmas Craft Fair Massacre is a disaster. I'd honestly score it a 0/10.

Is this movie good? Absolutely not! Is it a lot of fun to laugh at how bad it is? Absolutely!!!

Spirit Halloween gore effects, establishing shots that are obviously from Shutterstock, dialogue so bad it makes me wonder if the writer has ever heard people talk... these are just a few of the reasons this train wreck is so bad, yet so amazing. But the icing on the cake, is the acting. The acting is so bad... I mean so, so bad. So wooden, I was completely shocked when I discovered that the actors were not in fact, trees! Who knew? Long story short, watch it with your friends with your favorite adult beverages or herbal refreshments!

Christmas Craft Fair Massacre seems like a film that was conceived by a group of employees at an old folk's home, who then recruited a bunch of the old folks to act in it- as a group of satanists, who plan to use a Christmas craft fair, at the local high school, to find a "pure soul" they can "harvest", so as to unlock the gates of hell, and bring forth the "evil one".

Either that, or a couple of dudes who still live in their parents basement, recruited their parents to act in their film, because they have no budget or connections to get anyone else for the job.

Either way, the acting is laughingly poor...

But God bless them for trying.

And for going along with the ludicrous script.

Because the writing is just as bad as the acting, but that's what gives this attempt at making a home made horror it's charm.

To their credit, they do, at least, make an effort to incorporate some humourous one liners into the script.

But on sfx side, all the props are- quite literally- things purchased from Spirit Of Halloween.

With the main killer- who is being exploited by the satanists- being a guy in a blonde wig and Michael Myers mask.

Surprisingly, there is one inexplicable scene that features a ghost, which is actually done relatively competently (compared to everything else in the film, at least)...though, it doesn't seem to have any connection to the plot whatsoever.

This spirit- along with the astral projection of a native american medicine man- present themselves to the group of protagonists, which are made up of a priest; psychic crystal saleswoman; and a deadhead artist.

Whom are tasked with being "the light that will defeat the darkness".

A mission that will manifest itself in the form of saving a kind young woman from being sacrificed (by this rag tag group of wannabe satanists) to the dark lord.

Unfortunately, though, after being somewhat engaging, the ending ends up being incredibly anti-climactic.

But by that time it's over.

And you're kind of glad that it is, because the charm it had- from being such an amateur production- was starting to wear off anyways.

Sparing you from having to endure anymore of this underwhelming experience.

1.5 out of 10.