A Halloween Puppy

Why? Who? How did this get made? This is truly one of my favourite bad movies. It is up there with The Room for me. The twins!! What? "There gonna beat us up!" What?

I thought this would be a good, funny kids movie for the family but it turned out to be the biggest bunch of crap I have ever seen.

Seriously, the writing, story, the acting, the filming and even the music are worse than porn levels of terrible.

It isn't even good-bad like Tremors 3, it is just poorly put together and executed. It is a case study in failed film making.

The only thing even remotely interesting is the weird sexual tension between the teens... and the dog and the mother. The long scene of the mother scratching her boyfriend that turned into a dog with the Sesame Street-like music in the background is just fetish material.

If you doubt this, go check it out on net-flix.

My kids have asked to watch this movie every millisecond of every day of every month of every year since October second, two thousand and twelve. They even dressed themselves and the dog as the characters for Halloween. EVERY NEIGHBOR GAVE THEM EXTRA CANDY for their costumes. It is a world wide phenomenon that even newborn babies will love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for creating such an authentic, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Cinematic experience. I am forever in debt to the directors for this life changing experience. I owe you my life.

I would not recommend "A Halloween Puppy", and here is why:

-It is a crap fest -Too much sexual tension for a children's movie -Too much of the budget spent on hiring the mob boss from the Dark Knight to play Ted -The teenage girl was out of his league (like, way out of his league) -Who gave the dog a collar? Where did Ted's clothes go? Why did Ted turn into a female dog? -Same music replayed over and over -The dog's mouth wasn't even moving when Ted was talking... -Why isn't Ted more freaked out that he turned into a dog? "I'm a puppy, what?" -This is not nearly as good as Smart House -Why did the mom eat grass when the dog was screaming about chipmunks?

The problem is, if you're a parent, you're probably here because you picked up the movie at a thrift sale because had a cute puppy and the word magic... by then it's probably too late.

We did exactly this, our library had it in their old books sale, unopened, so we tossed it on the pile of movies $2 a bag.

The kids were watching the new movies on a Saturday morning and they got about 20 minutes into this one and I was suspicious. This movie did not feel right. The last straw was the comment of "eating candy and pretending it is human flesh" from the weirdly Halloween-obsessed main character. It's like he's got the enthusiasm and obsession of a 5 year old, but add in the fearsome gore that an adult might seek.

I looked up the movie here and found indeed, it's made by a director that makes porn and gory horror movies. The fact that he made a few talking animal movies targeted at kids is suspect. Add in the deceptive marketing on each movie of cute animals that aren't at all in the movie and in my opinion this is an attempt at child grooming. No way the director is just that bad at making kid movies.

Our copy is now in the trash. I'm not interested in letting our kids watch it.