Elskling

Because I try to choose well what I see, I can almost always find some food for thought in a movie or I can get emotional.

But rarely do I cry at the cinema simply out of compassion. This is what happened when I was watching Elskling, a film from Norway about low self-esteem, where it comes from and how it can damage a person's life and relationships.

The plot is very simple: two people meet, fall in love, get married, have children, face some problems and then have to deal with them. However, this same plot is shown in various depths. As the film progresses, layer after layer we get closer and closer to the core of the problem: we see what lies underneath and then what's underneath this new deeper layer. As a result, together with the main character we face the truth. We feel. We learn. And we are ready for the clean slate.

Bravo!

A passionate relationship leads to marriage and children, and seven years later they find themselves stuck in what might just be an all-too recognisable urban family hell in the post-women's lib era, in which none of the members of the household feel they get the time, space, attention, and love they deserve and need. None more so than wife and mother of four, Maria (Helga Guren), who detests her husband's every hint of happiness and achievement in light of her own lack of such. When she lashes out at him one final time, his patience and tolerance are pushed to the brink, and he becomes cold and disinterested. First-time director Lilja Ingolfsdottir creates interpersonal drama with a depth and magnitude that even Ingmar Bergmann would be proud of. Elskling scrutinises its characters and relationships relentlessly, never allowing them (or us) the slightest respite from their own shortcomings or self-pity. There is an optimism in Ingolfsdottir's work, but it is well-hidden under the characters' defiance, insecurities, and rationalisations, and once we finally get to the much-awaited catharsis, it's not a typical movie catharsis of our protagonist changing her ways, but of her having slowly realised and come to terms with some of the mechanisms behind her problems. Elskling is a powerful, demanding and sometimes funny drama that isn't designed to make you happy, except perhaps about your own life as the credits start rolling. There are strong, stripped-down performances by the two lead actors, especially Guren.

If this is what getting angry means in Norway they must be the calmest people on earth. This would count as a friendly argument where I'm from.

Not what I expected and not what the synopsis tells you.

It's about this woman's journey towards herself and her self-realization about the patterns she keeps repeating to sabotage herself.

But I don't think it translated that well, also the subtitles were bad.

Maybe it was too subtle for me, although I did get the gist. I also suspect the cultural differences played a part. Or something like that. It just didn't hit me as much as I expected it to or as much as I had hoped.

What a truly magnificent film! Fantastically written story and cinematography that drags you through an emotional rollercoaster, going left and right. Director Lilja has created a masterpiece with this. I'm so glad this film got to see the light of day. Perhaps the struggle of getting it made and realized is some of the frustration and intensity we can absorb through the film.

The acting from Helga is nothing but pristine! Never seen such a great performance from any Norwegian actor or perhaps even others. The film has scenes that will keep you pulling your hair, not sure who's side you're on, keeping you on the edge of your seats. While at the same time it WILL make you cry when you finally get there. Is the mirror scene perhaps one of the best shots and scenes in Nordic cinematography history? See it and judge for your self!

As a Norwegian, I felt like praising this film. I think it is appropriate, Norwegian film was both ridiculed and often poorly reviewed when I was growing up. There have been some exceptions over the years, but this one puts Norwegian film on the map!

In professional reviews of this film, it was written that all couples should see this film. I would add that it is for absolutely everyone, single or in a relationship.

The film is a close and intimate insight into a relationship that is slowly but surely unraveling. I think many people can identify with the conflicts we witness. This is about blaming other loved ones and blaming them for something that we should perhaps point the finger at ourselves. So the starting point for the film is a fairly young couple, who are struggling terribly. Then the film's main character is revealed and confronted with a different reality than the one she has been hiding behind herself. This phase of the film is incredibly strong and credible. I don't think I've ever seen any actors manage to convey such vulnerability on film before. That this film wasn't Norway's Oscar hope last year is a big mystery to me. But then it has certainly picked up many other film awards. So deserved.

A warm recommendation.