My Freaky Family

Oh my... where to start. My Freaky Family is the most beautiful work of art I have seen since the release of the critically acclaimed film "The Godfather", but if I were forced to watch only one of those films for the rest of my life, I would choose My Freaky Family any day of the week. I mean it wholeheartedly when I say that I cried when I first set my eyes upon this film. It was thrilling, devastating, humorous, serious and tear-jerking all at once. Like the man who reviewed this film before me, I believe this film deserves to make at least $1 freakillion at the box office, but even only making that would be an insult to its cinematic value. I say it with pride, this is the greatest film to have ever been made. Ten stars.

Some people are saying the opening scene was amazing, but I see it differently. While others see incredible action, I see utter confusion. I had no idea who any of these characters were, and I was suddenly introduced to six characters with insane abilities that were never explained in any way-they were just kind of thrown at the audience. Then, after this confusing opening action scene, the movie jumps 15 years, and suddenly, they have a family. It's freaky.

The story didn't really make sense, with plenty of plot holes, including a literal hole where characters would fall in and never be seen again. The king, who was supposed to be the villain, didn't have a single good reason to be evil, only to completely flip at the first sign of trouble at the end of the movie. There was also a lot of grooming in this film, as the main villain essentially grooms the protagonist.

The freakiest part of the movie was the worm-bus guy, who literally says to a trio of 14-year-olds, "You guys like tongue?" Like, what does that even mean? I don't care if I quoted that out of context; the writers knew exactly what they were doing with that line.

Some characters were introduced only to appear in one scene and then never be seen again, even when it seemed like they would play a major role. Oh, and the brother? He kind of looks like Michael Jackson after all his surgeries.

My eyes have been blessed, set upon such a beautiful, glorious movie, calling it a movie can be such an insult. This is a life-changing story that I will pass down to future generations. I sat on my chair, didn't move a single muscle, and fully glued my eyes to the screen, focusing on the cinematic views. After I finished watching it, tears was overflowing through my eyes, and brown liquid came out of my ass. I sat there for a good 12 hours. Remember every single moment. After that I had to be rushed to the hospital because the massive brown substance was eating straight through my glutes, my entire butt was carved out, chunks of meat fell out. And I was infected with Hemorrhoids and tapeworms. I believe this life changing story motivated me to change as a man and look forward into the future with my tapeworms coming out of my booty like a tail. I'm a 32-year-old man married to my beautiful 12-year-old wife, This scene made me happier than seeing my firstborn.

My Freaky Family is a gloriously bizarre masterpiece that fully embraces the weird, the wild, and the wonderfully freaky. From its eccentric characters to its mind-bending twists, every moment of the film oozes with an offbeat charm that keeps you glued to the screen. The family itself is a spectacle-each member boasting their own uncanny quirks, eerie abilities, or downright unexplainable habits, yet somehow, they function in perfect, chaotic harmony. The visuals are a feast for the eyes, blending eerie, otherworldly aesthetics with bursts of vibrant, unsettling beauty. The humor is dark yet sharp, the plot twists are as unexpected as they are delightfully strange, and the overall atmosphere is like stepping into a dream where the rules of normalcy have been thrown out the window. My Freaky Family doesn't just celebrate the weird-it thrives in it, delivering an experience that is equal parts heartwarming and deliciously deranged.

I have to say, this movie opens with a banger of an entrance, a fast chase scene across the snowy mountains. Pity the rest of the film doesn't match this rhythm, being a boring "teenager has to value their undead/magical/caucasian family while trying to be normal".

I'll have to say though, the main villain has a memorable character design, in a sea of otherwise typical CGI faces. The animation is decent, with good backgrounds and motion, it's just a shame its standard CGI instead of something more stylized.

Overall, a recommendation if you're interested in a rather bland kind of family movie.