River of Blood

There's a lot that is good. Bringing back the old trashy cannibal flick is a great idea and the way it sets itself up works pretty well.

The acting's good enough, it looks good, the kills aren't bad and the music's a positive so why does it miss?

There's 4 tourists and 2 of them are the most insufferable, the, you want to watch them bleed for a long time type of people, and it takes the time to show you that. Jasmine and especially AJ.

And then It makes them main characters.......and they stay insufferable. It does not make up for their continued presence with fantastic kills, laughs or clever plot developments. It annoys you constantly while the action is going on and it didn't have to.

There is a lot of enjoyment here but and if you can overlook that you'll like it. But annoying was not the word I wanted to describe this with and it is.

So disappointing.

When I watch this kind of movies I do not expect anything great. I mean, do not expect an Oscar winning interpretation, a twisted script or anything great. I love this kind of horror B-movies because mostly are as silly as entertaining. Let me explain.

First, River of Blood has unlikeable characters so from beginning you expect the worse for all of them lol.

Second, the more the script is unbelievable, the better the movie it gets. This movie is a great example of it.

Last but not least, the ending is a ruin. And not in a good way. It is not Chichen Itza.

So, overall if you enjoyed movies like Green Inferno this one is for you.

Two couples who are taking a kayak trip through the Asian jungle take a wrong turn into a tribe that is inhabited by merciless cannibals. As they try to escape the tension builds as they're hunted down and killed. This movie puts you in the mind of the 80s schlock horror films of Cannibal Holocaust. I recommend the film, good acting with suspense. The Ford Brothers are doing their thing with horror and action thriller movies. I'm definitely looking for more from them. On a score from one through ten, I'll give this crowd pleaser a six. Everyone please get familiar with their movies. Good job by all involved.

No pun intended - I don't think the title and the movie itself leaves too much to the imagination. Not sure if you know what this is about, but even if you haven't read the summary about what is going to go down (and can't imagine what the river or rather why it is filled (?) with blood) ... well the first minutes will clue you in to say the least.

The horror movie trope where we get the very first shocks ... and which sets the tone for the rest of the movie. What happens next ... well we get new characters ... and we are supposed to get to know them and care for them. I am not sure that will happen for everyone ... just saying and giving you a heads up. A low budget horror movie .. like it or not (no pun intended)

It's ug... I don't know what to say. Ok, this movie was filmed beautifully. I mean, the cinematography is top notch, professional, and aesthetically pleasing. The actors are actually quite convincing, they did a great job. The story... it is not bad, the plot device is good.

But somehow all these elements just didn't come together and I can't explain why. The plot just seems... like.. the decisions the people made are just ludicrous. Even without a possibility of some cannibal tribe, do they not know how dangerous the jungle is to run off by yourself like that?

Also like... the jungle is the most ultimate supplier of food whether from plants to animals. There is no way some tribe is eating people out of necessity.

I mean, the tour guide, who seemingly knows the most and refuses to go with them to find the lost guy, then all of the sudden breaks character and runs off on his own. This is not a spoiler btw, because it is ludicrously predictable.

Yeah, I don't know, I would say this is like one of those unpolished gem. So much potential, but probably should spend more time finalizing the plot.

Overall a 3/10.

The whole film, I was expecting discount Hugh Jackman to go wolverine on those cannibals. Probably would've been more interesting.