A Very Flattened Christmas

... this was terrible.

I like bad horror films. Generally speaking they take themselves very unseriously, there's a bit of heart, and they really try hard to do some good death scenes.

This has nothing. Most of the killing scenes are done off camera, which whilst I appreciate saves a lot of money, really impacts your enjoyment of a horror film. This is compacted because what you then end up with 95% of a movie trying with terrible actors (and the worst sound mixing I've ever seen/ heard) repeating the same words over and over again. One guy keeps saying the word 'dickpuncher' another repeatedly laments his return to town, another keeps telling everyone who's going to die, etc etc. I did quite enjoy the receptionist character, though she had very little to do and was dispatched far too early and uninterestingly.

So. My advice, do literally anything other than watch this terrible terrible film.

"A Very Flattened Christmas" is a thrilling blend of horror and dark comedy. The plot centers around a roadkill collection company terrorized by a killer reindeer, creating a unique twist on the holiday genre. With sharp writing, suspenseful moments, and quirky characters, the film delivers both chills and laughs. Directed by Shane Wallace, this indie gem keeps viewers on edge as they unravel the mystery behind the deadly Christmas season. Overall, it's a good movie for fans of unconventional horror and holiday thrillers. The unexpected twists and dark humor make it a standout indie hit. Definitely worth the watch! The performances and clever plot also add depth to this fun, scary holiday tale.

A stoners horror comedy dream! It's like a half baked/shaun of the dead laugh fest that was only a David lynch fever dream. This cast Is slammed packed full of VERY talented performers. I watched this with a sold out packed theatre where the crowd was into the movie more than Whitney Houston was into the stuff that makes movies! We were all on the edge of our seats in fear and suspense in one moment, and then laughing all together in unison the next. If you are able to see this film in theatres during its limited theatrical run, DO IT! You won't be disappointed. Just make sure you properly prepare if you know what I mean ;)

I don't often leave poor reviews, but when I see lackluster filmmakers get their friends to leave multiple 10 star reviews, I will always speak my mind to tip the scales back in the honest direction.

The blood and gore effects were genuinely solid, kudos to that team, but everything else? Yikes. Not a single performance I believed, color grading that could've been done by a blind person, and sound mixing that could've been done by a deaf person.

I really hope these guys find their footing and make something really solid, but with an entry like this they're miles away and getting thrown multiple "PERFECT!" reviews it's clear they're not looking to grow in the right ways.

I wish them the best, but you could (and should) spend your time watching literally anything else. I wish I had.