The Kingdom of Var

Borderline horror version of "The Room" with awful acting, props, effects, plot, camera work, editing, and just about everything else BUT you can't look away as the incredibly strange acting of the lead is jaw droppingly odd, leaving you to wonder if she's mentally ill or that was just a gonzo choice. The circular story is sort of okay, if just so amateurishly done that it all falls flat. You're bound to get a lot of laughs though, so it's a perfect party movie.

• but first I had to realise that it was all intentional - in that no one had a shred of talent OR simple knowledge of HOW TO FAKE IT. Script, sound editing, camera, and acting, oh acting! You know, where you go by method and put on an observed real life character's ways and modes or you practice stance, walking, talking, mimics and gestures from observing yourself or other actors - that acting. But neither is this movie.

Sorry, hard pass. Only excuse: It's a Time Travel movie. You know:

2019 I The Kingdom of Var II 81 min I dir. Nicholas Kleban I Magic, Time Traveller I 21st century I NOTE: Student film.

Trying to work on a new project, a woman uncovers a strange cassette tape that leads her into discovering the legend of a time-traveling sorcerer who imprinted an evil spell on a video-tape to spread his evil throughout time, and realizing she's caught in his web of evil tries to stop it.

This was a pretty decent if flawed indie effort. Among it's better features is a rather enjoyable setup that brings about some genuinely creepy elements. The main thing is the gradual uncovering of the mystery surrounding the demonic figure, from the backstory of the tape and the visuals presented on the video combining nicely to make for a great starting point. The legend it tells is quite chilling about the sorcerer and his devious minions keeping him alive throughout history and gets the film going quite nicely. As well, the other really enjoyable element here is the series of supernatural attacks that spring forth once she's been targeted by the sorcerer. Relying on a near-continuous assault of scenes where people turn around and reveal themselves to be involved with the demonic pact by ripping their face off or attacking her suddenly with threatening weapons causing her to become paranoid and constantly freaked-out. This is realistic and quite enjoyable to see play out as the graphic gore here comes off with a lot to like overall. There are a few issues with this one. One of the biggest drawbacks to this one is the overt and obvious low-budget tone that manages to become quite ever-present throughout here. Not only is the low-quality production style evident but numerous other indie factors are found here, from the general lack of purpose behind many of the scenes which seem to have little reason for being there, inane conversations and set-pieces supposedly intended to give depth to the characters but instead have little interest at all and very little rhyme or reason for being included. The other problem with the film is a wholly confusing final act that doesn't make any sense at all. As the allegiances shift and turn unexpectedly, the shock of their true nature is supposed to blind you to the fact that these don't make any logical sense, much like the existence of the cult that comes out of nowhere and is then summarily killed off without incident. Combined with an overlong and meandering finale that just keeps going and doesn't know when to end things, these aspects are what hold the film back the most.

Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Language, Graphic Violence, Full Nudity and mild drug use.

How this movie possibly has a rating of 3.3 (as of this writing) is a bloody mystery. If I could give this a negative rating, I would have gladly and deservedly done so. When I see films this devoid of any redeeming qualities with a rating they don't deserve, I assume the friends, family and acquaintances of every human being associated with the production have been coerced into rating it favourably.

Every single aspect of this film, from conception through execution are fifth rate. You'd almost think this was produced by a 13 year old using an iPhone 4 over a long weekend.

Acting: horrible.

Continuity: Non-existent Production qualities: ZERO.

I don't know where to begin with this. The Camera work is bad, some shots are out of focus, angles are off, some bad choice edits, as well I felt none of these actors had experience. The only good character who you could tell had acting experience was Elmer. The writing is odd ball for sure, and to be honest I don't think would fly well with most people. The jokes could be offensive to some and I guess it's a niche kind of style. This really felt like someone was like hey lets grab a cam recorder and make a film with friends. The audio is definitely not remixed you can tell the levels change and are not consistent. The story is also problematic a lot of the jokes and dialogue are just off to me? The story needs a major overhaul to be decent.