The New Hands

Okay, I consume bad horror movies regularly, and am generally on the lookout for an artsy film student project horror movie that somehow still takes itself seriously. In that, this movie earns a 10 in my book. The writing is silly, the dialogue stunted and unnatural, and the acting is like watching a soap opera but somehow with more hand violence. If you love a bad horror movie, this is for you. A silly premise, plenty of gore, and just so much nonsensical (and unresolved) drama. If you're looking for an actually good horror movie, I would look elsewhere. The amount of times they beat you over the head with hand puns and props is ridiculous. The movie even has the word "hand" in it; we get it. It's a great way to pass the time if you don't mind using fewer brain cells for an hour or two.

Let me be clear, it's not good. Funny? Yes. Entertaining? Yes. But not good. Still would definitely recommend this movie for a laugh though.

Quickly gotta acknowledge all of the (so, so many) scientific inaccuracies in regards to transplants and general lab safety. Dude could have sued the lab for just a silly number of things and retired comfortably the same day.

That said, the whole thing is so ridiculously heavy-handed that it just works better as an over-the-top satire than anything genuine. Someone really could have used a hand in writing the script with a little (or a lot) more subtlety. I'm not just pointing the finger at the writer, but ultimately it's handy to acknowledge where some of the problems stem from.

I don't want to go through it all point-by-point, that's not fun to read. Just watch it for a good laugh, don't take it seriously and you'll have a good time. And please, for the love of god, change the bandages!

"Phantasmagorical". Now the quote from IMDb in the trailer is legit.