Star Trek: Section 31

I thought only Star Wars was captured by Disney, but now it seems they also made a Star Trek movie.

The movie would be a single episode long if they wouldn't explain every obvious thing in detail all the time.

The characters are awful crafted. Just like in these "parodies" (whrere they all love each others very much *winkwink).

Never expected that section 31 would be a clown show instead of a special Starfleet unit.

The longer you watch it, the more brain cells you lose. Don't worry if you watched several cat videos on Tiktok during the movie, they'll explain what you missed every 15 minutes with nice flashbacks. So you can follow the "story" even when you're brain dead.

The visuals are nice but cheap. Reminds me of some low budged independent creations 10 years ago.

It's okay maybe, if you don't expect Star Trek.

Paramount announced a Section 31 Star Trek series several years ago. All about the amoral secret black ops division of Starfleet.

It would be a starring vehicle for Michelle Yeoh who plays genocidal Empress Philippa Georgiou in the mirror universe. She somehow ended up in Starfleet where she was the captain of the USS Discovery that got killed.

Once Yeoh won the best actress Oscar, the plans for the series went. Paramount retooled it as an one off film, maybe a recurring franchise.

This is a cheap knockoff Mission Impossible/Dirty Dozen/Suicide Squad hybrid. The

Section 31 members and former Philippa Georgiou look for a stolen doomsday weapon called the Godsend. There may also be a saboteur in the team.

The film is bogged down by a lazy plot. The most uninspiring members of the black ops team. Their introduction and attempts at humour was so ham fisted, I nearly switched off.

I can see this movie being passable if it'd just been a standalone movie not attached to the Star Trek brand. It still wouldn't have been good, but a lot of the problems with it wouldn't have stood out as much. It would have just been another generic straight-to-streaming slop movie.

As it is, this sucked. It didn't do anything interesting with the setting, it didn't have a story that could only be told in a Star Trek setting, and it didn't even do all that much with Section 31 as an idea. I'm glad this was never a full season of TV, as was originally planned, because eight hours of this would have been a nightmare.

The nicest thing I can say about this is that at least it's short. 95 minutes is a good length for what this was. At least nobody felt the need to drag it out to two hours, which happens too often with movies nowadays.

This isn't just the worst Star Trek Movie; it is also the worst Star Trek based show in the Star Trek Universe.

The story is weak, the acting is terrible, there aren't enough expletives to express how poor the overall satisfaction rating is.

I'm genuinely trying to not include any spoilers in this review, there's also a part of me that wants to, just to spare you (dear reader) the pain of having to endure what I just did, which was this tragedy.

Having said all that, if you have absolutely nothing to do; and I mean absolutely nothing, then why not put this on whilst you ebd up playing on your phone instead.

As a massive Star Trek fan, I am deeply disappointed by the continued involvement of Olatunde Osunsanmi in directing Star Trek projects. His work on Discovery fundamentally missed what makes Star Trek special, and now he is repeating those same disastrous choices with Section 31. Even with a talented cast, he has dragged the franchise down with juvenile, uninspired ideas that already failed in Discovery.

This feels like a betrayal of what Star Trek stands for. Osunsanmi has managed to do the exact opposite of what Jon Favreau accomplished with Star Wars-instead of revitalising the franchise, he has dragged it into mediocrity. The result is not just a disappointment, but an embarrassment to the legacy of Star Trek.