How to get ESTHER WILLIAMS wet and still have an entertaining musical must have finally gotten to whomever dreamed up this lackluster, shoddy script for the MGM swimming star. She seldom dips a toe into the water and when she does her swimming scenes are brief.
In fact, the whole story is told in little more than one hour and seventeen minutes--and even then, it's exasperating to watch so little happen. The story is the tired old mistaken identity theme taken to ridiculous heights by RED SKELTON, who's mistaken for an obnoxious and wealthy oil baron (KEENAN WYNN) at a luxury hotel with a deluxe size swimming pool. HOWARD KEEL ambles into the story via horseback singing just one of several unmemorable songs and is soon ogling Esther poolside in a manner designed to get her to take a dip (for the sake of her fans).
ANN MILLER pops up to add some breezy Texas charm to the proceedings, but even her lively dance numbers lack the usual splash MGM gave to its production numbers. Esther is supposed to be a carnival girl who gets dumped into water by any man who can throw a curve ball--and she's hungry, or so we're told, to the point where she faints in the arms of Howard Keel who then chases her until she's caught. Esther has to be one of the healthiest gals ever supposed to be suffering from malnutrition that I've ever seen.
The hazy plot plods along until the predictable ending with the stolen identity cleared up and Esther is ready to melt into Keel's arms--none too soon.
Summing up: At least Esther had MILLION DOLLAR MERMAID in her future--but this is one where she's just killing time. Very unworthy vehicle for the swimming star par excellence.
