Amore dolce amore

Lana Turner, Robert Lansing, Celeste Holm, Robert Alda, Meredith Baxter Birney, and Scott Hylands star in this film about a young couple who meet, fall in love, get married, and, after the news of a baby, they find out they are related. How, you ask? They are brother and sister, because his father had an affair years ago with her mother and she, the daughter, just happens to meet her brother years later. I might would have liked the film more, had it not been for two things: one, Scott Hylands (who?) didn't do much for me and two, the film just lies there. Despite Robert Lansing's thoughtful performance and Lana's gutsy presence in this humdrum film, this film offers really nothing to the plot and this no-win situation. It takes the usual, predictable concerns they'd have in conversations and bore you with more and more and more talking. What starts out as just an unbelievable film becomes a morgue with despondent and lost people by the end and you feel really, really good after wards. Yeah right. You're wondering, where's the dead horse they were beating? I can only imagine that someone came up with this idea from "The Parent Trap," and putting a twist on it. But, aside from curiosity of the veteran actors' performances seen here, this film should have been put in a time capsule of the 1970s and left there.

Boy, I'd sure watch a lot more TV movies if they were as crazy as this one! Meredith Baxter Birney and Robert Alda are a young couple who become pregnant and are happy to share the good news with their parents, some of which who are played by Lana Turner and Robert Lansing, who are put into the uncomfortable position of having to tell the young couple they are in fact half-brother and sister. AWKWARD! They love each other, so should they stay together? Should they get an abortion? And how would they explain what they do to their friends and neighbors? This is about as over-the-top of a melodramatic situation as possible, but it's treated with genuine sincerity which makes the film interesting beyond a simple Jerry Springer freak show of a situation. The film is nothing brilliant, but I honestly did not know how it was going to end, which is more than I can say for most films.

Resembling a TV-movie in story, script, direction, cinematography and music, this late-career entry of Turner's is pretty hapless. Though top-billed, her role is relatively insignificant and she has little to say or do in the film except to face blame for a long ago deed. Single teacher Birney meets architect Hylands (very improbably) as he is fishing in a fountain for his date's car keys. When the date runs off, he and Birney strike up a relationship and, over the course of some "gum commercial"-esque scenes, proceed to live together, get pregnant and plan to wed. Hylands takes Birney to Canada where his parents (Lansing and Holm) live for the wedding. Her parents (Alda and Turner) are on an extended cruise and can't (or won't) be there. At the wedding, Hylands' brother Friedrich snaps endless Polaroids (!) of the backs of the couple's heads, but for a later boat trip, he is shown with a 35mm camera! He takes a picture of Birney with her new father-in-law. Later, when the newlyweds finally meet HER parents, Turner sees the photograph and is aghast. It turns out that she had had a one night stand thirty years ago with Lansing and that Birney is actually his daughter, thus making the happy couple half-siblings who have committed incest and are about to produce a child! The rest of the film involves the decision to have the baby or not and to proceed with the relationship or not. Unfortunately, what could be scintillating, even, for some, titillating drama never gets anywhere because most of the revelations are done offscreen, thus robbing the audience of some good reactions. Also, the true meat of the subject is only skirted around. The feelings and issues of the situation are never fleshed out properly. Birney just always needs time to think. But what about?? Toothy Birney and wiry Hylands manage a few decent moments as a couple and have a degree of chemistry, though neither one has the charisma to carry a feature film. Lansing does pretty well in an understated performance (certainly better off here than he would be in two years on the debacle "Empire of the Ants"!) Holm tries to inject some warmth and class into it, but is wasted. She is improbably matched with Lansing and, at times, looks like his mother. Alda, with some terrible get-ups and a serious comb-over, is also not given much to do with his part. Strickland, appearing briefly at the beginning and later at a party, adds a touch of humor and wit. The film could have used her later on. Someone forgot to tell Turner that it was 1976 and not 1958. She gets about 11 seconds where she can relax and from then on, her character is in a constant state of fret and sorrow. For her, every scene is about what billowing or beaded or tailored concoction she can wear. She even drags out her signature fur coat and head scarf look which was fine in its day, but seems overly melodramatic here. She was 56 years old playing a 51 year-old and looking like a 71 year-old. The cinematographer did her no favors in this movie (nor to Holm or even Birney.) Though top-billed, her appearances are pretty brief and, like everyone else except the couple, she is wasted! The two sets of parents never get any decent confrontation scenes or scenes of discussion or understanding. It's hard to believe that this is the same director who delivered the deliriously campy "Back Street" and "Midnight Lace". The film is so dull and halfhearted. Also, depending on how important the subject of bloodline is to the viewer, it can seem pretty icky. Ultimately, it's so drab and uninvolving that it ceases to matter.

Over the opening credits, an attractive young couple appears glum. The woman is pregnant. After the credits, we flashback to the meeting of teacher Meredith Baxter (as Patricia "Pete" Peterson) and architect Scott Hylands (as Michael Lewis). The two seem as close as "made for each other" as two can get. Because they are away on a cruise, Ms. Baxter's parents Lana Turner (as Claire) and Robert Alda (as Ben) are unable to attend the impending wedding. Happily, Mr. Hylands' parents Robert Lansing (as Howard) and Celeste Holm (as Marian) are present. But something is not right...

While showing off her wardrobe, Ms. Turner begins having dramatic moments. Soon, a family secret is revealed. Now, we know why Baxter and Hylands were looking glum in the opening. In the production style of a TV movie, "Bittersweet Love" brings up an interesting topic and takes it nowhere. Most obviously, Baxter and Hylands should have accepted an apparent lucky incident and take precautions to avoid future problems. That Baxter's character can't accept this is perfectly understandable, but not sufficiently explained; the problem is slighted and the outcome unsatisfactory.

**** Bittersweet Love (10/76) David Miller ~ Meredith Baxter, Scott Hylands, Lana Turner, Robert Lansing

All are saying that the movie is kind of lame, but the idea is pretty interesting. Anyone in this situation would probably do a lot of talking, thinking, moping...The acting is fine. Makes one wonder with all the affairs that happen, if this hasn't occurred but the two people never found out and are living as husband and wife, when they may be siblings.