I segreti del cuore

I didn't know a thing about this movie until I rented it last night. After it ended, my wife said, "What was the point of that? It's like there was a hidden camera in somebody's house, but there was nothing interesting for the hidden camera to see." That was the problem with "The Myth of Fingerprints": we watched a group of uninteresting characters not do anything interesting for an hour-and-a-half.

Here are our characters.

1. DAD (Roy Scheider) - Dull and silent. When drunk, acts drunk.

2. MOM (Blythe Danner) - Acts like a mom.

3. BIG SISTER (Julianne Moore) - Bitter and annoying. And bitter. A completely unpleasant character...but not even interestingly unpleasant. Just bitter.

4. BIG BROTHER (Noah Wylie) - Cute and bland. Broke up with GIRLFRIEND and acts depressed until he gets back together with her.

5. LITTLE SISTER - Cute, perky, and bland.

6. LITTLE BROTHER - Doesn't do anything. Don't know why he's in the script at all, except as an excuse to write his cute, perky, and bland GIRLFRIEND into the movie.

7. BIG SISTER'S HUSBAND (or maybe BOYFRIEND) - Cute and bland. Bickers with insufferable BIG SISTER.

Well, that's our cast. What do they do? Get together for Thanksgiving and spend a few dinners together, then go home. Meanwhile, the big "conflicts" in the plot include:

1. BIG SISTER acts like a jerk and annoys everyone (including the audience).

2. BIG BROTHER finds out that GIRLFRIEND broke up with him because DAD acted drunk some time ago.

3. All characters search for something to say and do to fill up the screen time, but fail, mostly.

Well, that's our plot. Not much conflict, not much character development. Suddenly, the screen fades to black, then the credits roll. I can't recall a time when I felt LESS involved in a movie than this one. What was the point? To show how bland a family Thanksgiving dinner can be? If that was the goal, then the movie accomplished it, with flying colors.