Tom Arnold nel ruolo di...
Albert Gibson
- Gib: [to Harry] Same thing happened to me with wife number two, 'member? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ICE CUBE trays out of the FREEZER?
- [last lines to himself, inside a surveillance van]
- Gib: You know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You guys are going to be in the van next time. I've been in the van for 15 years, Harry.
- Harry: [holding Simon at the edge of an aquaduct] Son of a bitch, Did you think you can elude us forever, Carlos, huh?
- Simon: Hey, you got the wrong guy! My name's Simon! Just let me go. There's no need to kill me. I haven't seen your...
- [Harry and Gib remove their masks]
- Simon: face. No, no, no I didn't see it, I didn't see it!
- [realizes that it is Harry]
- Simon: Oh, it's you! Hey, you still interested in that 'Vette at all?
- Gib: Hey, Carlos? Game's over. Your career as an international terrorist is well documented.
- Simon: No...
- Gib: -Oh, yeah.
- Simon: No...
- Gib: Oh, yeah!
- Simon: No!
- Gib: OH, YEAH!
- Simon: No, I sell cars! That's all! C'mon, I'm not a terrorist. I'm actually a complete coward, if I ever saw a gun, I'd...
- Harry: [Harry takes his gun out and points it in Simon's face]
- Simon: [Whining and pleading] Oh God, no, please don't kill me. I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm navel lint! I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic!
- [Harry and Gib gave Simon a weird look, then Simon pees his pants]
- Simon: Wha, uh, oh God. Would a spy pee himself, huh? Please, I'm not worth a bullet. Oh, mercy sir!
- Harry: [Disgusted] Get the fuck out of here. Just go, just beat it.
- Simon: No, no, as soon as I turn, you're gonna shoot me! You're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me!
- Gib: [Gib and Harry get into their van] Get lost, dipshit.
- [fires a few rounds into the ground near Simon]
- [to Dana, who's wearing a helmet,]
- Gib: [as she leaves the kitchen] Yeah, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.
- Simon: [in a Chinese restaurant] Did you read the papers yesterday?
- Helen Tasker: [whispers] Yes.
- Simon: Sometimes a story's a mask for a covert operation. See "Two men killed in a restroom and two unidentified men in a running shootout ending at the Marriot."
- Helen Tasker: That was you.
- Harry Tasker: [listening to their conversation with Gib]
- Simon: You see...
- Harry Tasker: [whispers to Gib] That was me.
- Simon: You're very good. You recognize my style. You're a natural at this.
- Gib: The guy's a fake, man. He's taking credit for our moves.
- Helen Tasker: What happened?
- Simon: Hardly worth talking about. Two of them won't bother me again.
- Gib: Unbelievable!
- Helen Tasker: You chased one?
- Simon: Something came over me. I just had to nail this guy no matter what the risk. Pretty hairy. I thought he had me a couple of times. But I can't take credit.
- Helen Tasker: Why not?
- Simon: It's the training. It shapes you into a lethal instrument. You react in a microsecond without thinking.
- Gib: [laughing] I'm startin' to like this guy.
- [Harry gives him a mean look]
- Gib: [gets serious] We still gotta kill him. That's a given. You know.
- [talking about Harry Tasker's wife, in a car with Simon]
- Helicopter Pilot: Oh yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo.
- [to Harry Tasker]
- Gib: Maybe she's sleepy.
- Gib: So your life's in the crapper. So you wife is banging a used car salesman - it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Harry, take it like a man!
- Gib: [in their SUV, following Simon and Helen, arrived at Simon's used car dealership] The guy is a goddamn used car salesman!
- [amused]
- Gib: I mean, this just keeps getting better and better!
- [Harry gives him a dirty look]
- Gib: I'm sorry, Harry, I know this has got to be painful. But you gotta admit, it's pretty damn funny. I mean, if it was just some idiot and not you, you'd be laughing your ass off.
- [starts to laugh]
- [Harry is commandeering a Harrier to rescue his daughter]
- Gib: Harry, do you realize it has, in fact, been 10 years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?
- Harry Tasker: If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.
- Gib: [helping Harry into their SUV] You know what? I say we concentrate on work, buddy. That's what I do every time my life turns to dog shit. I concentrate on work, and that gets me by. All right, buddy? This is gonna be great. You know what? We're gonna catch some terrorists, we're gonna beat the crap out of them, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better.
- Gib: You aren't her parents anymore, her parents are Axl Rose and Madonna, you can't compete with that kind of bombardment.