Pacific Blue

a.k.a. Baywatch on wheels.

Have you witnessed the marvel that is Pacific Blue? It's a sun-kissed miscellany of wooden acting, drama, romance, action, comedy and brazen T&A.

The acting - my god, the acting. Think of porno actors from the late 80's and early 90's, and you will know the cast of Pacific Blue. Not only that, but the set pieces seem like they were culled from a Peter North and Anita Dark video. It gets better after season 1, but the cheese is omnipresent, and sublime.

The plots - never have I seen such a wonderful treasure of generic stories with moral lessons. Some absolute gems include:

• The misguided gangbanger who is seeking a father figure.

• The cocky new addition to the police force who's keeping a dark secret.

• The school shooting, and how we can't always protect our children from a world gone mad.

• and since it's set in Venice Beach, California, naturally there's a teenage runaway who has someone that cares.

The action - any time there's a chase, and even when there isn't one, you'll get a healthy dose of bodacious bicycle stunts in each show. Unnecessary drops from rooftops, table jumps, wheelies, endos, leg swipes and 360's - all done on mountain bikes with frames and shock absorbers that probably cost more than a yellow Nissan Pathfinder - shaka brah.

The comedy - if the action in Pacific Blue is the sand, surely the comedy is the sea - a sea of awkward awesomeness. You'll be reminded of being in school, when you and a classmate had to pair up to do an impromptu skit in front of the class. You will blush, and then you will lose your mind.

The T&A - because every woman walking along Venice Beach and its surrounding neighborhoods wear G-strings and have a ginormous set of bronzed mammaries.

If you haven't experienced the life-affirming magnificence that is "PacBlue", I urge you to take it for a spin. It's the very definition of California Love.

This show was one of the best out there, while on the air. And, I think it still is. The first three seasons, staring Rick Rossovich, Paula Tricky, Darlene Vogle, Marcos Ferraez, and Jim Davidson, was the better of the five years the show was on air. The last two seasons, they kind of did go over board a little bit. Though some of the new characters such as Russ, Jamie, And Bobby, were a good addition, and wouldn't have harmed the show on their own, I think taking out Tony and Victor, and adding Monica was a terrible idea! That's what ruined the show in the end. But, overall, the first three seasons, were the best. Those five cops didn't just work together, they lived together. It seemed almost like a family, something you wouldn't see on most cop shows. They were awesome cops and great at their jobs. They even almost "laughed" at the regular patrols in their cars, because these guys patroling the beach on bikes could go places the cars couldn't, they could catch the bad guys the regular cops couldn't. I would definitely recommend watching this show, especially the first three seasons!!!

Lieutenant Anthony Palermo(Rick Rossovich) is at the top of the bike-patrol unit. He is positive about it that the problems on the beach can be solved peacefully and without violence. He's always on duty and he stands up for his subordinate unconditionally. Palermo is a divorced man and a father of a sixteen-year old daughter.

Officer TC Callaway (Jim Davidson) has problems with his family, who wants him to join the family business, but he refuses and stays with Pacific Blue.

Officer Victor Del Toro(Marcos Ferraez) knows the beaches of Santa Monica and Venice like the back of his hand. Grown up in east LA as a son of South American immigrants, he got in contact with the crime early. The Hispanic teenagers are close to the enthusiastic biker's heart.

Officer Chris Kelly (Darlene Vogel) joins the bike-patrol after working for the P.R. Department of Santa Monica. For the attractive blonde the Pacific Blue unit is another step on her way up. Despite her career ambitions she behaves friendly and helpful towards her colleagues.

Officer Cory McNamara (Paula Trickey) is a cop in the third generation: her grandfather, father and brother work for the LAPD. In the fight against the crime she always regards the code of law.

Bobby Cruz (Mario Lopez) whose aggressive treatment of criminals forces him out of the Los Angeles Police Department and into the Bike unit.

Russ Granger (Jeff Stearns) plays an ultra cute, Harley-Davidson-riding, bad Boy, who joins the unit thinking he is signing on as a motorcycle Cop.

Jamie Strickland (Amy Hunter-Cornelius) the beautiful triathlete an material Artist whose determination and many talents make her a great addition to the Team.

Monica Harper (Shanna Moakler) the gorgeous and seductive rookie who loves to be a trouble-maker, and performs her best when she goes undercover.

This silly little cop show never allowed itself to get too serious and always gave the viewer something to enjoy. It did have several elements of "Baywatch" including tons of bikini-clad extras tanning, oiling up, or jogging at the beginning of every program and plenty of slow motion shots. Needless to say, these bike cops didn't always play by the rules but always nabbed their suspect or killed him trying(I think in real life, any cops with these guys habit of killing a suspect without being provoked would be a few dozen life terms). Darlene Vogel and Paula Trickey really showed tons of diversity in their characters, being strong and tough cops, happy and giddy off-duty friends, slinky little sex kittens, and damsels-in-distress all in about one episode. I thought it was kinda interesting to see Rick Russovich in something other than "Top Gun". But his departure from the series in 1998 started a decline in the show's quality and ultimately ended the show in 2000 rather aburptly. Definately worth checking out.

These cops are looked down upon by the real cops driving cars or motorcycles. But when they chase after a bad guy, its as if gravity is removed, and they can do anything with their 5000 dollar bicycles. Leutenant Palermo played by Rick Rossovich has a strange habit of keeping one sock up to his knee, and the other tucked down to his ankle. An he talks funny. This is Baywatch on wheels.