The Corpse Grinders 2

In a far away Galaxy is a planet called Ceta. It's native people worship cats. But the dog people wage war upon these feline loving people and they have no choice but to go to Earth and grind people up for food. This is one of the stupidest f#@k!ng ideas for a movie I've seen. Leave it to Ted Mikels to make a movie more incompetent than the already low standard he set in previous films. It's like he enjoying playing in a celluloid game of Limbo. How low can he go? The only losers in the scenario are US the viewer. Mr. Mikels and his silly little handlebar mustache actually has people who STILL buy this crap.

My Grade: F

DVD Extras: Commentary by Ted Mikels; the Story behind the Making of (9 and a half minutes); 17 minutes, 15 seconds of Behind the scenes footage; Ted Mikels filmography; and Trailers for "The Worm Eaters" "Girl in Gold Boots", "the Doll Squad", "Ten Violent Women" (featuring nudity), "Blood Orgy of the She Devils", & "the Corpse Grinders"

The original exploitation classic-though far from enjoyable on almost any level concerning some guys who turn cats into human flesh eating monsters because the cat food they make is made with people is remade with scifi elements added. The cats can't get enough and when the flesh tainted food runs out the cats turn on their owners. Poorly put together on almost every level this is an example of the absolute bottom of the barrel material that used to actually play movie theaters in the early 1970's updated with alien cat and dog races battling for supremacy. Director Ted Mikel is a hack, but is so lovable a person (I generally like the guy thanks to his smile inducing interviews and commentary tracks) that you can pretty much excuse the garbage he mostly turned out. Mikels wanted to make films and he didn't care how they turned out so long as he was producing something. More power to him, but I wish he wouldn't subject us to his home movies

Ted V. Mikels used to make films. I'll go as far as to say great films, for what they were. Somewhere along the line he forgot how to and he decided to make this home video which he mistakenly believes to be a "movie". Please avoid this at all costs, and speaking of costs...if you can't afford to shoot on film Mr. Mikels, don't bother at all. - EDDIE WRETCH

Corpse Grinders 2, The (2000)

* (out of 4)

If you watch the making of featurette to the original 1971 film director Ted V. Mikels says that the movie made over $190,000 in one city in just one week. I don't doubt this claim but I do wonder why he'd wait thirty-years before releasing a sequel because there's very little doubt that anyone in 2000 was wanting such a film. The "sequel" is pretty much just a remake with added pieces of other stories thrown in. The nephews of the men from the first film are back in business and uses corpses to make their cat food. The cats eat this junk and eventually start attacking their owners. The "new" story added here is a battle in outer space where cat people are being overtaken by dog people so the cats must come to Earth and try to find cat food that their planet can survive on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up THE CORPSE GRINDERS 2 and the end results aren't nearly as good as one would hope but then again it's doubtful too many had high hopes considering how long it took this movie to come out. From what I've read about Mikels he seems like a wonderful guy and what interviews I've seen it appears he's a wonderful man who loves to make movies. Perhaps that's why he decided to revisit the original film all these years later as two years later he'd also make a sequel to his film THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES. I'm guessing Mikels love of making movies is the main reason this sucker here clocks in at 100-minutes, which is at least half an hour too long. At least the original movie ran under 75-minutes but this thing here just keeps going and going with new subplots coming up every few scenes. The "remake" portion of the film isn't too bad as the idea of humans being used as cat food is rather funny and fans of the original film will probably enjoy seeing the director's new version of scenes. The problem is with everything else as there's way too much useless story including everything going on between the two owners and their ways of getting the corpses. The performances are all rather bland as you'd expect but we do get to see Dolores Fuller in a few scenes selling the cat food. She wrote songs for Elvis but she's best remembered for being Ed Wood's girlfriend and appearing in his films like GLEN OR GLENDA? and BRIDE OF THE MONSTER. She certainly doesn't do anything ground-breaking here but it's nice seeing her. It's doubtful too many people outside of those who want to explore Mikels' filmmography are going to view this thing and that's probably good. It's certainly a very bad movie but at least the director holds everything together and makes something comprehensible.

I am a huge fan of Ted V Mikels and the original "Corpse Grinders" is the main reason why but this is quite possibly the worst film I have ever seen. Even the brilliant casting of the legendary Liz Renay ("Desperate Living") could not save this worthless piece of garbage. This film should serve as a lesson to all past, present and future film makers...when you have a film as successful as the original "Corpse Grinders" was you should probably leave sleeping dogs lie and you should definitely not try to revitalize it over twenty years later (unless you have the financial backing to pull of a superior sequel such as Herschel Gordon Lewis did with "Blood Feast 2: All U can Eat") Even if you do decide to do this you should probably spend a little bit more money than you did on the original and for god's sake...NEVER film a movie onto video...why do film makers even attempt to do this when everyone knows the quality is going to turn out hideous...I personally have yet to see one film made in this fashion that's even worth the powder to blow it to hell...if you can't afford to make a sequel that is better than your original film then sell the rights of the film to someone who can...and what was Ted V Mikels thinking about (or smoking) when he wrote this god-awful script? I mean come on, dog and cat "aliens" from another planet? A cardboard box painted to look like a devastating machine capable of grinding up human bodies...bones and clothes and all? If any of these actors, aside from Liz Renay, were paid more than five dollars for their hideous performances than they are grossly overpaid! Avoid this film at all costs and watch the original instead.