Fatal Lessons: The Good Teacher

I didn't even watch this whole film which may or may not be fair judgment. But when it started out with my least favorite actress in the lead, Erika Eleniak, I knew it would be awful. I have never liked this actress in all that she's done and am amazed her career still exists. She's God-awful. And to top it off she plays a bitch. When you saw the doom of the cute dog, you knew the predictable would happen. Why do writers always kill the loving pets? Is it because we love animals more than people? But rest assure Casey T Mitchell, the author, kills the dog first off. Thanks Mitchell for your bad taste. Then there's Patricia Kalember and Ken Tremblett as the parents and victims of the bitch. And of course, like all LMN victims, they are clueless, even when they are forewarned. Again I ask why are victims so stupid in figuring things out? Mitchell doesn't disappoint me. He makes them so stupid you already figure the ending out. And I also picked the next victim. Now mind you, I didn't see the rest of this crap, but I'll bet the neighbor was next. Am I right? Lori Ann Triolo appeared briefly in the beginning before I switched channels. But I'll bet she got done in.

Michael Scott directed this boring piece of crap. Beware this Erika Eleniak. She's terrible in all she does.

Gold digging poisoner/femme fatale extraordinaire Victoria (Erika Eleniak) is fresh from her last caper and eying a new one. She adopts a new identity and takes a job in a small town as a schoolteacher.

Quickly she targets a wealthy young couple with two children, one of whom is a pupil of hers. She becomes best friends with the wife and her gullible husband and continues to weasel her way into their lives stealthily threatening all that they hold dear. They come to find that the truth about Victoria is much darker than they ever could have imagined but it might be too late.

Eleniak was Playboy magazine's Miss July for 1989. Often people define her by that title only. But she is arguably the very best of Playboy Playmates turned Hollywood actresses. In fact she was an actress (Child star) before she ever posed for Playboy. That was her in E.T. getting kissed by Elliott in the classroom scene. In feature film roles like Under Siege and Chasers she was more than passable. In this one however she bit off way more than she could chew and it comes off like a bad caricature.

Ex-TV star Patricia Kalember (Thirtysomething) is not very convincing in her role as the wife/heroine. She does not play the role as the classic passive victim we are used to seeing in movies. Her own pro-activeness actually gets her into trouble and allows her to shape the plot.

But she seems to look down upon the material here as well as the production itself. I do not just find her unconvincing as the character she plays. I actually think her distaste for the work she has settled for in this drek comes through despite whatever professional face she may have put on during shooting. She looks like she knows this one was headed direct to video or cable. Could she have known where it really did end up? Specifically, it is being marketed as a discount item for sale in dollar stores by an outfit known as Direct Source Special Products. Can you guess what price it commands? This looks like a TV movie and plays much like any movie of the week has but particularly like the not very good ones. It gives you some idea of why TV movies of the week are looked down on by audiences and often snubbed by actors who are offered roles in them.

The controversial subject matter designed to win over audiences is another one of those Hollywood thriller clichés. Eleniak's character is to teachers here what Glenn Close was to mistresses in Fatal Attraction.

As in other movies made for the small screen much of what is shown is sanitized, the supporting characters are played by no-name actors and the location is British Columbia doubling for the American Pacific Northwest. Casting was actually key in producing the dud that this turned out to be. The no-name actors in supporting roles are no-names for a reason. A non-descript guy portraying a Floridian victim of the title temptress spouts off his lines with an unmistakable Canadian accent.

FATAL LESSONS: THE GOOD TEACHER is a good made-for-TV thriller. Erika Eleniak plays the homicidal teacher, Victoria Paige, insinuating herself into a typical suburban family in order to destroy them. Said family consists of Dr. Dad, Nurse Mum, the kids, and their loveable dog.

Victoria gets to work right away, undermining the cutesy clan by isolating mum, etc. Vicky also uses her arcane knowledge of all things herbal / pharmacological to facilitate her eeevil agenda. She can incapacitate as well as kill.

If you enjoy movies about psychotic women on a sinister rampage, then look no further! Ms. Eleniak has never been better, except perhaps when she popped out of that cake in UNDER SIEGE!...