Abner the Baseball

'Abner the Baseball' is an extremely low-budget cartoon from Paramount, the studio that consistently produced the least entertaining and least imaginative animation. The opening credits of this cartoon (with a choral theme song) place so much emphasis on the title character, they make this toon seem intended as the debut of an ongoing series. But this is strictly a one-off, and it's hard to see how it could have been otherwise: Abner is just a talking baseball ... and he isn't even a talker, so much as a mere narrator.

We meet Abner propped upon a pillow in the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York. With an annoyingly twee voice emerging from his anthropomorphised face, Abner reveals the events leading up to his arrival in this hallowed hall. It seems that Abner is the baseball that got whacked by Mickey Mantle for a home run against the Detroit Tigers, on 10 September 1960 ... sailing for an astonishing 634 feet (193 metres). Abner gets whacked right out of Briggs Stadium and into the street, where he's found by a kid who is honest enough to bring him back to the stadium. Abner's narration tells us that this is the longest home run ever hit. Actually, Mantle had previously hit at least one longer home run, in an exhibition game.

We see a cartoon version of Mickey Mantle, although the only part of him that's recognisable is the number 7 on his jersey. The animation here is quite bad even by Paramount's low standard, and repetitive with it. Every single time the catcher signals a pitch, he always gives the two-finger signal. (My cultural references are British, so I got a big laugh out of this ... for the wrong reason.) Each time the pitcher goes into his wind-up, he invariably cocks his leg absolutely straight up into the air. Even a very unsophisticated child who knows nothing about animation cels will notice that the animators are using the same actions over and over in this brief toon.

A baseball is not the best possible object for animators to imbue with anthropomorphic existence. Abner is drawn to look like a regulation baseball, but with a human-ish face. (As if the baseball-headed mascot of the New York Mets got his body chopped off.) Kids who watch this cartoon might be prompted to wonder how a humanised baseball feels when it gets knocked for a home run, or when it lands in the street outside the stadium. Doesn't this hurt? Abner never addresses this.

Nor are we ever told why this particular baseball is named Abner. The obvious assumption is that this refers to Abner Doubleday. It's now thoroughly discredited that Abner Doubleday invented baseball: this canard was created by an Anglophobe sport-equipment manufacturer who wanted to suppress the fact that America's national pastime was invented in England. Still, the disproven myth refuses to die. When I visited Arlington National Cemetery -- where Doubleday is buried -- I was annoyed that the tour guide kept saying that Doubleday invented baseball (which he didn't do), while mentioning nothing at all about Doubleday's actual achievements as a general in America's Civil War.

I'll rate 'Abner the Baseball' just 1 point in 10, and that's only because I'm a baseball fan.

I did not watch cartoons much, but did grow up enjoying and watching Popeye. Jack Ehret, Sr, drew me a picture of Popeye while he was hospitalized in NJ, sharing a room with my dad circa 1966. Jack Sr was a good man, a great animator, and wonderfully kind to a kid he did not know. And I came across the drawings he made for me today, so just want to say thank you to Jack Ehret, Jr for his comments and memory of his dad. It truly is a shame that we lost this world of talent and world of innocence to computers that have no idea of the human experience. I still watch old Popeye cartoons because it reminds me of my dad and a wonderfully kind man, Mr. Ehret, that made those hospital days less traumatizing for me.

My childhood. That was great. Nice to remember.

Story was about baseball. He was telling his story that made him very famous.

my father,Jack Ehret, was one of the animators. I know that the quality of the animation was poor, and that really upset my dad. he would cuss and stomp around talking about cheap cartoons, not like in the old days when they moved just like real people. If he was alive today, he'd really be up in arms with this new computer animation. it doesn't take any artistic talent to do anything today, and all the old animators have gone the way of the horse and buggy. too bad, he was a proud man and felt that he had done something wonderful at one time, but progress got in the way of talent.

John Ehret

p.s. i can't draw a lick