Black Dahlia

This is the worst "movie" ever made. Of course, calling it a movie is actually exaggerating its merits. No plot. No acting. No nothing. Two guys are silent for at least 45 minutes. One woman should have been. Sorry, but repeating "F___ you bitch!!!" fifty times does not constitute dialogue. Saying it with the same intonation fifty times makes you the anti-actress. Even the same gore was repeated over and over and over. (The "writer" couldn't come up with even a variation?)

Bottom line is there was nothing that you would define as a movie except that the videotape was transferred to DVD and sold in stores. Everyone involved should stay a long way from the business. You have not one iota of talent.

I've never been fooled before. This film has the distinguishing characteristic of being the only time I've mistakenly rented the wrong film. The entire budget for this film was put into the cover art and the rest was probably spent on catering donuts to the worst set of actors and the most ridiculous make-up effects I've seen in many many years.

It's a terrible terrible film for the first five minutes. I wouldn't know about the rest because it's simply inexcusable. I don't know how anyone could watch this entire movie unless cheap, stupid gore with broad satanic strokes appeals to them like pornography. And clearly the number of people who would rent the film on its own merits are few enough that cheap, rip-off packaging tactics are required to eke out a few more dollars from an unsuspecting public.

I believe that this is the worst movie I've ever seen.... and I sat through "Atomic Train". At least that has Mena Suvari in it, so I can watch it with the sound off. "Black Dahlia" had not a single virtue. No humor. No plot. No acting. No Irony. There's not a single interesting, entertaining or amusing thing about this movie. I wanted really badly to walk out, but my movie mate drove and insisted on staying. I wanted to stay in the theater watching this schlock only slightly more than I wanted to risk hypothermia. It was a tough choice; watch "Black Dahlia" or die. Death would have been only slightly worse. This movie just plain sucked. It wasn't even interesting by accident. 'Nuff said. This movie just sucked. Addendum: Okay, some of the the music was good.

At the store I was fooled that this was the studio version, but don't be fooled, this is the biggest pile of feces I've ever seen, and I only watched the first 15 minutes. I swear that if I watched any more my eyes would have exploded and my ears would melt from shear disgust. This movie was made in about a week in order to steal some thunder from the "real" movie. This is like Snakes on a Train, they change the title slightly and let the money roll in, but don't let these freaks get any money. They wasted your money and however long you sat to watch this crap. From what I saw, they special effects were created via ketchup bottles, the plot was written by a eight year old who was way to interested in boobies and blood, and the actors are people that probably needed the work so bad they would be willing to be paid minimum wage. Period.

Ulli Lommel's latest is a blatant attempt to cash in on Brian DePalma's BLACK DAHLIA. (But why, since that bombed??) This shot-on-video-with-non-actors disgrace is the kind of amateurish junk that gives all horror films a bad name. And we all know there are many good ones. This is not even a good "gore" film, even though there are plenty of severed limbs and lots of squishing blood; H.G. Lewis's films of the 60's were better than this, and that's saying a lot because Lewis' films are horrendous. But at least Lewis can say he was an innovator of sorts. Lommel's (so-called) films get worse with each outing.

This DAHLIA is boring, repetitious, pretentious and laughable. Even the "artsy" video effects can't hide just how junky and moronic this rip-off is.

Buyers and renters beware!!