Dial M for Middlesbrough

Funny enough to pass 90 minutes without taxing your brain. Not as funny as the Death on the Tyne episode.

After the feeble Death on the Tyne. Draper's tour operators Terry (Johnny Vegas) and Gemma (Sian Gibson) return in another disappointing and overlong instalment.

On the way to Middlesborough, the coach breaks down at a dismal down in the dumps caravan park, a place where Gemma once had a holiday of a lifetime.

Pretty soon they stumble across people getting murdered in some sadistic ways.

The site owner is hoping that the land is designated as a nesting site for some rare birds which means he does not have to sell it to H from Steps.

Jason Donovan plays a sleazy entertainments manager who once had a thing for Gemma.

It is a combination of comedy and gruesome deaths. One person gets spiked by a swingball, Terry finds a finger in some soup he had and there is even a hit man wandering about.

The best joke was Terry wanting to have a classy wedding with Gemma and lay on a gravy fountain with vegetables. It was the only decent gag in the whole thing.

The other 2 were pleasant distractions but this just wasn't. I think I missed the crazy old people that are usually on the bus. This was mostly the 2 of them and a new cast of extras that I didn't find funny at all.

Two bodies and a caravan park full of wierdos.

After the two previous episodes I was looking forward to it, it continues the trend of smut, nonsense, pure stupidity and murder.

Don't expect an Agatha Christie or a Carry on Film, but there was an effort to find something in the middle. It is fun, but it's fun for this time of year, think panto season, think exaggerated over the top nonsense. If you take it for what it is, light hearted fluff you'll enjoy it, expect much and you'll be disappointed.

It boasts a wonderful cast, Jason Donovan adds a bit of star quality, but the standout for me was Joanna Page, she was lots of fun.

Seeing Annette Crosbie was enough for me to enjoy it. 6/10

There are some good actors here, but they don't stand a chance in this under-rehearsed moronic drivel. The whole thing is desperately unfunny. There is far too much quick cutting, which means the director fails to capitalise on his one plus point; the performances.

Highly amateurish, Dial M for Middlesbrough is a abject failure.