The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Oh god, Edward Cullen, you're so damn hot. Take my virginity, take it, take it now! But wait, no, I'm so conflicted. Jacob Black is also hot. In fact, he might be hotter than you. What should I do, Edward? Should I give in to you, with your milky white skin, your smouldering eyes and chiselled chin, or should I....should I give in to Black, with his ripped six-pack and Hawaiian glow?

Oh Edward, you know I don't want to hurt you, it's just that a girl's virginity is a big deal. I want to lose it with someone special, with someone I love. It's not like I can lose my virginity twice, Edward. It's not like my virginity can grow back. Unless....no. No, you can't be serious Edward. Regrow my virginity? Is that possible, Eddie? Surely it's not. What? I can remain in a state of perpetual virginity by reading Stephenie Meyer's Twilight Series? Oh Edward, sweet, precious Edward, what a genius you are! Call Jacob, call Riley, and come hither yourself Edward, for tonight all beasts dine on the blood of Bella Swann, the most chaste harlot a mortal did ever spawn.

10/10 – Masterpiece.

So much ado in the world mass media about "Eclipse"! And - much ado about nothing.

"Summit Entertainment", please call back either Catherine Hardwicke or at least Chris Weitz! The franchise is getting from bad to worse. You're in danger of losing millions of viewers for "Breaking Dawn" if the trend begun by David Slade continues! If you don't care about quality movies, care at least about your profits. "Eclipse" is a cheap hack-work whose only aim is to make some easy money. It won't work twice.

David Slade has done the impossible - he managed to butcher the "Eclipse" novel altogether! Instead of the most dynamic book of the saga, which – though possessing no literary qualities of big literature - is at least a page-turner, he produced an incredibly cheesy hash-dish of disconnected episodes, none of which is charged and coherent enough for the viewer to evaluate its meaning for the plot and character development. The film has no magic of Catherine Hardwicke's "Twilight" which concentrated on the phenomenon of first love with all shades of emotion, its tenderness and blunders. The colour gamut of "Twilight", the dialogues, the motivation of the characters, the pacing varying from slow to lightning speed – everything was there to contribute to the magic. Chris Weitz, on the other hand, concentrated on the character of Jacob and on the film gathering momentum in the very end, when Bella goes to Italy. This break from the slow pacing of the time tedious for Bella to break-neck speed of the Italian part does the film credit. Though in comparison with "Twilight", Chris Weitz almost botches up Edward's character to save it at the last moment in the episode with the Volturi, both films have an atmosphere of their own. Not so the "Eclipse".

Slade and Rosenberg seem to have been intensely hating the book while filming it. How otherwise could they have created this … this… product (euphemism)? No coherent and consistent dialogue, no dialogue meaningful enough to give the actors at least SOME room for displaying their acting skills, no character motivation, no chemistry between the characters. The flashbacks with Rosalie and Jasper held some promise, but no, David Slade was very consistent in destroying their appeal, too. Both the stories lack some essential parts absolutely necessary for understanding the characters. On the whole, all the actors have to mumble through some nonsense lines which have to pass for dialogue. ALL of them seem to be there just because the franchise must plod on. Edward's repeated bleating about Bella marrying him obviously gets even on his own nerves. Action? Don't make my cat laugh. If this tiny part of vampires' training and a tiny fragment of real fighting lacking any gusto can be called action, then I'll eat my hat. I bet people expected much more than that bit of morning exercise, waving hands and raising legs. The only credits in this field go to Jasper and Emmett.

Acting? Godawful. It seems the main characters are suffering from various diseases and need medication real quick.

Edward is hanging about with the facial expression of one having chronic dyspepsia. It seems that each and every Bella's appearance on the set is nauseating for him and he's manly fighting this emotion to conceal it. Motilium and sickness medications, quick! It's not a progress in acting, but a step back. Edward was best in "Twilight", in "New Moon" it was slow deterioration, now it's a catastrophe. Edward must be changing, but - so? Edward seems to be turning into a willing slave of Bella and effacing himself completely. It's obvious that, on the one hand, the actor was left with no choices of his own and with not much of a role to play, on the other hand, he's tired of the franchise whatever he may be saying in public (and anyone would be tired of this film 'very DIFFERENT from the previous two'). By the way, we should do Mr. Pattinson credit, for he's honest – he said that he feared nobody would come to see the film. He has definitely seen the pre-release copy. Next time I'll be more attentive to the messages he sends.

Bella. She's lost all the appeal of a young inexperienced girl caring for everybody, eager not to hurt, to bring together, a heart bleeding for everyone. Now we see an egoistic scheming wench not caring a fig about anybody, her only aim, as we learn in the end, was to sift through her motives and to make the RIGHT choice, and that's becoming a vampire, love is secondary here. Is she doing it for her shrink? Next time fetch your pocket calculator to draw up the balance, Bella. Bella's attempt to seduce Edward looks nauseating, so pre-planned it is. Where's love, where's sincerity, where's youthful impetuousness? Gone to the dogs. On the whole, judging by Bella's facial expression it's evident that the girl was dropped head down more than once in her infancy and now has difficulty comprehending what is being said around her. Acetazolamide may have helped, had it been taken earlier. Bella's also obviously a mouth-breather. Remove your adenoids, Bells. Before it's too late and you're too far gone.

Jacob. No progress in comparison with "New Moon", too few and too bad lines given, too little screen time.

Victoria. Rachelle Lefevre was voluptuous, lascivious, dangerous. Bryce Dallas Howard is emaciated, pitiful, heavily painted and timid. She can't touch Rachelle Lefevre. A very bad choice. The wig alone doesn't make the character. A bad mistake of "Summit".

Was there ANYTHING good? My thumbs up to Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Carlisle, Charlie, Riley (though Riley's part could have been made more dramatic and consistent, but not with the current wonder script, alas). Oh, yes, the landscapes were impressive.

I've really tried to understand why these movies and books are so popular. I read the first book, and though it was a somewhat fun read, I didn't' see what all the hoopla was about and didn't bother reading all the others.

The first Twilight I found to be entertaining, New Moon was a snoozefest, and now Eclipse found me straining to keep my eyes open. In all honesty, it just seems like nothing ever really happens. Yes, there are some short action sequences, and it was interesting to get some background information on some of the Cullens, but that's about it.

I've really tried to understand why Edward and Jake are so into Bella, and I really don't get it. She's not that interesting of a person and she's always walking around in what seems to me to be a gloomy state. Really, guys, just move on! Also, (just as a sidebar), if the werewolves shorts can magically reappear after they turn back into a human, why do they run around without shirts? Shouldn't they reappear too? Just a thought.

It also seems to me as if the actors are bored in this film too. Especially Kristen Stewart. She seems as though she would rather be anywhere than making another Twilight movie.

But I think the overall problem is that there are really no surprises, no twist and turns in any of the movies. It's all pretty straightforward and predictable. Quite honestly, I find the TV show "The Vampire Diaries" to be far superior to Twilight in almost every way. It has the same premise, more or less (mortal girl torn between her love for two supernatural beings), except that you need a score card to keep up with what's going on. Every week is a roller-coaster ride, which is really enjoyable, and you completely understand why everyone is into the lead girl. And that's what I thought Twilight should have been like.

I guess at the end of the day, you can never underestimate the power of marketing, both for the books and the movies, or the buying power of the average teenage girl.

I don't hate the Twilight movies as much as others do, but I don't care for them either. The first was average, the second was pretty poor and the worst so far and while Eclipse is the best yet that isn't saying much. I haven't read the books the movies are based on, apart from a couple of pages of one which didn't spark my interest in reading the rest, but my sister has and likes the books and movies, though she says she likes the books more.

Eclipse does look good. I think the scenery in general is splendid and the cinematography and editing is much better too. The special effects are also an improvement, they don't feel as rushed here. The score is also very nice, courtesy of Howard Shore it is probably the best score in any of the Twilight movies. David Slade also does an above serviceable job directing, Eclipse is by far the best directed movie of the Twilight saga as of now.

However, Eclipse still has the same major problems as the first two did, but not quite as bad. The dialogue is still very clunky, Pattinson and his family have some pretty good lines but Stewart and Lautner's dialogue are quite awkward and in general the delivery is too. The story is more involving than in New Moon, which was not only sluggish but almost a non-event in terms of story, but there is the odd disjointed part particularly in the middle act and in the more "romantic" bits. Stewart and Pattinson have a decent chemistry, but Stewart still looks awkward with Lautner, while the action scenes felt rushed and the pace is still incredibly sluggish especially in the middle.

The acting is very mixed. Pattinson and his family I was fine with this time around, and Bryce Dallas Howard is a welcome addition to the cast as Victoria. Billy Burke while somewhat underused is decent as Charlie as well. Conversely, there are some weak links too. Taylor Lautner does little more than take his shirt off and say some clunky lines, while Kristen Stewart while better than she was in New Moon with a marginally more expressive face gives a rather lacklustre performance as Bella as she does have a whiny delivery here and there are still the awkward pauses between each line.

So overall, it has its strengths but also its weaknesses, but it is watchable and while it could have been a lot better with better scripting and pacing Eclipse is the best so far of the saga. 5/10 Bethany Cox

I read up to the first 4 chapters in the original Twilight book before I sat it down and decided it was trash. My sisters said otherwise and I have taken them to Twilight and New Moon at the midnight premiers, so I held to the tradition and brought them to Eclipse.

Not having much faith in the movie as I had seen the first two and was not impressed at ALL, I got ready to take a nap. Instead after the first few boring scenes it kicked up (unlike in the other two) and we actually got more than 2 minutes of action.

The acting was better, but Bella and Edward both returned to their comatose state on screen while Jacob and the wolf tribe keep the life in the movie. I have to hand it to Rathbone for another good performance and wondered why he couldn't have played Edward, instead of listening to the wooden voice of Pattinson.

It had its good moments, ridiculous moments, points where the script sounded as if it were written for a nickelodeon kid's show, and scenes where you just want to scream at the characters. I would have liked to see Alice do more than just stand and have a premonition, and what happened with Esme? She was on screen for 10 seconds.

It was enjoyable, to say the least and probably the best of the series (so far). But then again, that's not saying very much. 5/10