Gothkill

I'm sure this was a lot of fun to make and the people involved probably got a kick out of watching the finished production, but the rest of us could do with a warning up front: this is not even a 'B' movie.

This really is the kind of quality I associate with a decent high school production. Not a GOOD high school production, mind you .. just decent. It was extremely poorly acted with very amateur equipment and little attention to quality.

I watched it expecting to be entertained by a campy plot and a little action .. some blood, gore, and nudity hopefully .. but even those were in short supply.

Unless you're obsessed with the goth / metal-head subculture (or whatever), don't even watch this to satisfy your curiosity.

Satanism, goofy humor, naked goth babes... This premise had a lot of potential and sounded right up my alley but wow, I have not been this disappointed and outright annoyed with a movie like this in a while.

It was a bad sign when the movie started and the lead actor immediately got on my nerves. He disappears after the opening scene and we're introduced to the two leading ladies. But don't worry! That annoying lead keeps popping back up to make a bunch of unfunny quips or just randomly narrates things.

After a dress-up montage, the two lead girls end up walking around a goth club for about ten minutes where nothing happens. Did I mention the sound design on this is terrible? Well, it is. We're treated to some occasional topless women but when a movie is this bad, that doesn't even matter.

This film has a 70 minutes runtime. It hit 50 minutes and they are STILL TRYING TO SET UP THE PLOT. Talk about excruciatingly boring. I had the impression there would be some decent gore in this, but there is none. There is some blood that gets splashed around but even that is very minimal. You would think they could've taken the time to make some innovative kills with the body count this film has.

This film is very cheaply made but that's not the issue here. I watch stuff that looks like it was shot in someone's backyard and have a great time with it. This movie is just boring, unfunny, and never takes off. Completely got on my nerves. Oh, and if you're drawn in by the fact that Mistress Juliya is in this? She shows up for maybe a whole minute of screen time. Don't bother.

I rarely give out a 1 rating on here but this is one film that I really feel deserves it. Don't waste your time.