Velma

I'll preface this review by saying I have no problems with adult humor, or with a family friendly franchise being reimagined to include such. Nor am I outraged by the diverse casting. I approached Velma with an open mind, and it's just not good.

Like another HBO Max show, Harley Quinn, Velma is full of edgy and fourth wall breaking humor. Unlike that show, Velma seemingly holds nothing but contempt for its source material. Not one character behaves anything like you'd expect, and none of them are enjoyable to watch. Daphne is vapid and mean, Fred is a rich douchebag, and Shaggy is a bore. Velma herself comes across as Mindy Kaling's self-insert Scooby Doo fanfic character. She is the coolest, smartest, and funniest person in the room at any given time and multiple characters want to have sex with her. Everyone else is a loser. It's more sad than it is funny.

Writing sucks, jokes don't land, doesn't feel like scooby doo at all.

More like they wrote a show and put scooby doo characters over their own characters.

This is the type of show you start watching and you literally can't bring yourself to finish it because it hurts to watch, even if it wasn't scooby doo related it'd still be awful.

The humor is like I'm watching family guy or big mouth, but instead of there being a joke, it's literally just a pop culture reference with no "funny" attached to it.

If shows were to be represented with cereal, this show would definitely be a bowl of wheat with no milk. No flavor, no comedy, nothing.

Honestly I'd actually rather eat a bowl of wheat instead of watch this.

I heard how bad this was so had to see for myself.

I was expecting to be laughing at how atrocious it was but it's not even bad enough to laugh at, like some terrible shows and movies. This was just so bad it was hard to believe what I was watching. My mouth was open in astonishment at how revolting it was.

How the hell did this get made? It's abysmal on every level. It's not even a train wreck. A train is on it's way performing its duty before it crashes. This train never left the construction yard. Shame the idea did.

The jokes aren't funny. It's not cool. It's not hip. It's the opposite. It's majorly offensive. Offensive for two reasons.

One for how terrible it is and it is really bottom of the barrel terrible, and two for it's obvious sexism and racism. What an absolute insult, really, to anyone with half a shred of respectability. I'm just staggered that this even exists.

And to have it based on a CHILDREN'S decades long loved series is just mind blowing. It's wrong.

Shame on the execs who passed this giant steaming turd. Every single person involved with green lighting and creating this 'show' deserves to never work again.

One of the worst programs ever made. Without exaggeration.

This show literally insults you. I've never known a show to actively try and make you hate it, this is abominable and one of the worst things I've ever seen, I can't stand it. It feels like a straight up slap in the face and I cannot stress this enough, it doesn't even have SCOOBY-DOO in it, what in the everloving God? I have no clue how this got greenlit and the okay from the higher-ups because I'd rather get hemorrhoids than watch anymore of this. It's mentally tiring and I've never sighed from disappointment more than I have while watching this poor excuse for a show... Cancel this, please.

This show is one of the worst things I've ever seen, and I would give it 0 stars if I could. I can't believe how poorly written this show is, how mean-spirited it is and how much contempt it has for its source material. It's not like it resonates with people because of the themes of teamwork, or found family, or about how different people with different personalities and goals and outlooks on life can be friends and love each other.

No, we have to character assassinate everyone, especially Fred and have everyone talk in petty, tired and divisive cliches. There's no word for it other than cringe. I am so sick and tired of these types of shows. At least they're keeping Scooby himself out of his this garbage.

Off to palette cleanse with the original show.