Horny Teenagers Must Die!

I did watch the whole thing out, only thanks to my almost superhuman endurance. Because it is really a bad movie. Maybe it's made by totally inexperienced newbies in the business, as their first wobbly try at a feature film. But somehow it impressed me more as if some sleek producer thought it an easy way to make a quick buck, by aiming at a non-critical teen audience with a titillating title that promises sex and slashing, while keeping the budget as low as possible.

Everything here is wrong. The whole cast cannot act, and in their helpless efforts blatantly over-act. The sound varies, at times even within a scene, from muffled to swimming hall echos. The lighting is totally off, in many scenes the actors have a toxic green glow in their hair. The special effects are almost non-existent and totally unconvincing. The killings (pivotal, one would say, in a supposed slasher flick!) are lame, shown in a quick flash, and that's it.

The story is a dull and uninspired rip-off of the zillion (and mostly way better!) cabin-in-the-woods slashers, with all the usual unoriginal characteristics: the bunch of youngsters who couldn't be more different and thus make a totally improbable group to go on a trip together; sex- and nude scenes at the craziest moments; characters reacting either hysterically over-the-top, or strangely stoical when stumbling over yet another mutilated body or severed head; I could go on and on.

Maybe, just maybe, they could have saved this project when they would have made it into a comedy, or in a parody on slasher movies. But alas, there was nothing even remotely to laugh about. In short: this is a bad, yes, a sad and bad movie. Avoid!

For the love of our saviour can Hollywood stop making these terrible movies.

Hollywood still doesn't understand that casting actors and actresses in their late 20's and 30's when they are supposed to be teenagers takes away from any credibility. All the characters look too old especially the main guy, the colored guy and two of the girls. Terrible acting I couldn't take this turkey serious. Don't even bother it's not worth a rental.

P. S: This movie says it was released in January but yet there are only two previous reviews and currently less than 200 votes. I guess our fellow experts nogodnomasters and paul_haakonsen for whatever reason have not seen this movie yet considering they watch and review every single trash movie that comes out. Where is our other fellow studio shill kannibalcorpsegrinder?? I'm waiting for his typical "solid effort" robotic review.

My question: which one of these "expertise" will review this movie first? I am patiently waiting. Just remember I win because I was here first gents!

*UPDATED EDIT (12/8/2024): Well I have just come back to this movie and I noticed that our fellow kannibalcorpsegrinder has "reviewed" this movie and is the first of the three aforementioned. And of course he would give a predictable robotic positive review. To no one's surprise.

Finally graduating from high school, a group of friends decide to celebrate the occasion with a special getaway trip to a cabin in the woods for a weekend of sex and partying, but when they mysteriously disappear come to believe that a savage killer has begun killing them one by one.

This was a fairly fun if somewhat flawed genre effort. One of the finer features to be had here is the overall fine setup that doesn't try to reinvent the wheel and just serves as a worthwhile means to offer tons of sleazy antics with the group in the woods. As we get an immediate glimpse into their lives not just with the initial diagnosis of their graduation and the journey off into the woods as a means of celebrating that, but to see how they prepare for the trip by gathering their friends on the way there or just goofing off in the backseat of the tide there sets everything in motion by giving us a fine look into their lives on the trip there. When they arrive and it turns into a series of sexcapades with everyone off trying to sleep with their girlfriends at every opportunity in various positions makes for a fine touch as well to help get more of a feel for who they are and what's going on. That sets the film up well enough for the slashing antics to come off rather well against this backdrop. With the initial cold open showing off some brutal kills and stalking early on, the rest of the scenes in the woods are fine enough with the later antics coming off within the woods as great shock ambushes of the killer taking them out in quite brutal fashion. Even with the inclusion of unconventional weaponry in the attacks, this one takes a strong approach to the scenes as they're usually kept to a more serious touch than expected with the deaths treated with the idea of a serious killer in their midst who just happens to use sex toys during the ambush sequences. Once the truth is revealed and they become aware of the killer as these ambushes are based on stragglers to the group away from everyone, the newfound mix of stalking scenes and whodunnit mystery is a fine touch allowing for some fine brutality and kills to be had here that hold this one up nice. There are some issues with this one that bring it down. Among the biggest drawbacks to the film is the fact that so much of the first half here is spent on the general horniness of the group, preventing it from offering much in the way of genre fare. The killer's antics are brought about in just isolated ambushes that it rarely feels like a killer is out there with them. It takes far too long for that to get started with this setup involving the group going around screwing each other around the woods. That also causes the other side effect here of the rushed finale where it tries to do way too much in such a short amount of time that there's some weird spacing here where it never has a chance to breathe before moving on to something else in the blink of an eye is the reveal of the killer, what the motivation is, and the various interactions that came about which are handled in this chaotic manner. These are what hold this one down overall.

Rated Unrated/R: Constant Sex Scenes, Nudity, Graphic Violence, Graphic Language, and drug use.

David Zagorski with a team of young but accomplished actors took on the horror tropes of a cabin in the woods and made the best of it. I featured this on my #Splatterday2K watchalong and we all had a blast. With a diverse cast and some very predictable but fun moments, the movie is very enjoyable. It has all the must haves: blood, wacky kills, sex, boobs, innuendos, unlikable characters, and outhouses. I really enjoyed what they were doing with this flick and of course, they threw in the inevitable plot twist at the end that made me chuckle. Give it a chance. If you think you could do a better movie, go for it. I will watch it! Make your movie, friends!!!

I told my wife right at the start I don't have high hopes for this movie. Horny Teenagers Must Die is not that bad of a flick it's actually pretty enjoyable. It's got quite a good cast for a larger than expected body count the kills were pretty decent. It's independent so you know the acting isn't gonna be great but overall the cast does a fairly decent job. First five minutes had a great body dismemberment gag definitely worth checking out. It's a worthy entry I can't say it's gonna be a Friday the 13th classic but I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and I'm happy I bought it.

-Chety & Lycans Horror Party Massacre.