Spin Me Round - Fammi girare

The world's DUMBEST 35 year old woman goes on a corporate mandated trip to Italy which seems like the opportunity of a lifetime. At first, Amber's plans and assumptions are within the range of normal: she thinks going to Italy even for her lame chain restaurant (which is obviously a place that rhymes with Bolive Zarden) is going to be enriching and fun. Instead, she's stuffed away with other worker drones in an ugly old motel that is located conveniently behind the CEOs lush villa misleadingly advertised in the pamphlet. They awaken on the first day to the sorts of trainings that could have just as easily have been done in the conference room of a Hilton in Bakersfield. What's more, is that the entire group is warned that legally they're not allowed to explore on their own even at night because "Italy is dangerous" and the only time they'll actually be enjoying their journey to a foreign country are on structured group field trips to places like farmer's markets.

At this point, you can't really blame her for befriending a glamorously cool but slightly evil Aubrey Plaza decked out in Italian designer clothes and playing the role of the CEOs much-beleagured personal assistant, Kat. But you start to worry about how well her brain is functioning when she doesn't get even a tiny bit suspicious when Kat drops her off at the CEO's yacht, and drives away while millionaire Nick goes about the most obvious narcissistic sexual harassment any corporate jerk of a boss could muster. Amber falls for it hook, line and sinker as though she's a 20 year old girl who has never been in a real adult relationship with a man before. Utterly starry eyed and besotted, Amber allows Nick to buy her a wildly expensive dress even as Kat clearly says "prostituta" to the sales woman in the shop while discussing the price. Upon arriving to Nick's party, everyone starts kissing Amber or dancing with her, and telling her how open-minded she is. OBVIOUSLY Nick is a creep who is used to manipulating women with money who has invited Amber to an orgy, and everyone except her knows it.

Kat takes pity on Amber, and speedily drives her away from the impending sexcapades and instead takes her out to a dine and dash gourmet meal, drinks and dancing before making out with Amber in the alley way. At this point in the movie, I'm all for it - I would have loved nothing more than for this strange Italian vacation to turn into a bisexual romance starring Aubrey Plaza. Instead, Amber nervously backs off, continues to pine over Nick and hold him blameless, at which point laugh-out-loud chaos ensues.

But even though it's funny, it's just hard to watch the movie as an adult and not realize what a dummy Amber is, and how critical her internalized misogyny and childish naivete are to the entire plot of the film. I don't know who needs to see this film, but it probably wasn't me. I was hoping for a lot more of Aubrey Plaza.

.. who is both the co-writer and the star (!), has at least one great film in her. But this is definitely not it. This script is however remarkable for setting up so many interesting possibilities and then delivering on none of them. The end result is maybe a 10 min SNL skit, not a full length film. And it was particularly unwise to cast Plaza in a secondary role, because her natural charisma immediately has the viewer wondering why she is not starring?

After watching, I have little idea of what the movie was trying to do. About the only takeaway I had was the feeling that I had just wasted my time. The plot was not particularly interesting and for the most part didn't make a lot of sense. I guess the film was attempting to be a comedy, but it just wasn't funny enough to justify that classification. Alison Brie's presence raised my rating by 2-3 stars, but other than her there wasn't much about the movie I can recommend.

SXSW 2020 Greetings again from the darkness. Expectations were sky high for the latest from writer-director Jeff Baena. His twisted humor was evident in THE LITTLE HOURS (2017), and he has collaborated again with his HORSE GIRL (2020) co-writer Alison Brie, who also takes the lead role. The assembled cast is filled to the brim with folks who have proven comedy chops, and much of the film takes place in gorgeous Italy. What could go wrong? Well, technically nothing goes wrong, it's just not as right as we hoped.

Alison Brie stars as Amber, a dedicated 9-year manager of the Bakersfield, California Tuscan Grove restaurant. It's a chain of Italian fast casual clearly meant to mock Olive Garden, and we get multiple shots of their pre-packaged bulk Alfredo sauce. When Amber's District Manager (Lil Rey Henry) informs her that she's been selected for an all-expense paid trip to Italy for the company's immersion program, she's thrilled to have some excitement in her life - plus her friend (Ego Nwodim) floats the idea of her finding love on the trip.

The group of managers is disappointed when the promised Italian villa is actually next door to the non-descript box motel where their rooms are located (Amber has a view of dumpsters). Sessions are held in a bland conference room, and those sessions are mostly unnecessary cooking lessons run by Lauren Weedman, offering no flavor of the country's culture. The fun here is derived from the interplay between the characters/actors. Zach Woods plays Dana, an over-the-top superfan of Tuscan Grove and its owner; Tim Heidecker is Fran, the full-of-himself type; Ayden Mayeri is the giggly one; Debby Ryan the aloof participant; and Molly Shannon frets incessantly over her lost luggage and erases all boundaries once Amber offers to lend her some clothes. The facilitator of the sessions is oddball Craig (Ben Sinclair), who excels in moments that beg, "was that supposed to be funny?" The dynamics change when Tuscan Grove owner Nick (Alessandro Nivola) drops in to the sessions with his assistant Kat (Aubrey Plaza, married to director Jeff Baena). Nick takes an immediate shine to Amber and their scene aboard his yacht is one of the film's best. His attraction seems to stem from the fact that she favors his deceased sister. That's wrong on so many levels. Beyond that, when Amber and Kat take off for a spin through the town, it's another highlight, as Ms. Plaza and Ms. Brie play off each other magnificently.

There is a creepy element to the film. The manager's retreat plays out differently than hoped, and the names Dana and Fran play a significant role in what is actually going on. Nick's actions are a bit disturbing, and Kat's role could easily be interpreted as falling into the Ghislaine Maxwell category. And then there is a tonal shift to the point where it seems we may be in the midst of a murder mystery. It's all a bit chaotic, but never quite as funny or tense as we hope.

Ms. Brie has a wonderful screen presence as she bounces from naïve to hopeful to confused to concerned. Mr. Nivola is also terrific flashing the charisma in TV ads and then transitioning to the soulful, manipulative, entitled rich scumbag. The contrast in the story is as distinct as the two books mentioned, Elizabeth Gilbert's "Eat, Pray, Love", and Gabriel Garcia Marquez's "News of a Kidnapping". Few movies combine the blandness of Bakersfield, the romance of Italy, near slapstick comedy, the suspense of a thriller, the lameness of corporate America, a kinky sex party, and a pack of stampeding wild boars. It's a lot to take on, and some parts work better than others. While we expected it to be more clever, just know going in that you should be like Amber - guarded with an open-mind.

You know those movies that start out strong and build up a compelling plot, only to lose themselves in the final quarter and go down a convoluted road? This is one of those movies.

The first 2/3 is actually really interesting. It's sort of similar to "don't worry darling"- a seemingly normal universe that gets more and more absurd as time goes on. It's a comedy, mystery, thriller, and romance all wrapped into one.

And then- it's ruined by a rather flat ending. It feels like someone just didn't write an ending. I think this had the potential to be really great, but squandered it. Ultimately, only watch this if you're okay with a good journey but bad destination.