The Tank

I'm a huge Creature-Feature fan, so when I heard about this movie I was immediately intrigued but after seeing the first ratings my expectations were limited a bit, but I was still excited to watch the movie. The movie really takes its time before something significant happens. A couple drives to a secluded cabin in the woods, which the husband received after the death of his mother. As soon as they arrive they check the place out and after some time they hear noises from a nearby tank. Then the movie progresses with short and dark shots of the creature and lots of growling and crawling noises. This goes on for some time before the first off-screen kill happens. Towards the end however you get to see the creatures in their full beauty, which are made with practical effects and that's always good. In general I think the creature design was good and made me curious about their origin. Some characters definitely had severe plot armor which is always an annoyance and there are several stupid decisions throughout the movie but these things are nothing new in most horror movies and since I'm a sucker for Creature-Features, I definitely had a good time with this movie. If you manage to survive the rather boring first half of the movie I think you are going to enjoy the third act even though this movie is definitely no masterpiece. Watch out for the mid credit scene. [5,9/10]

How are movies like this still being made? Movies that offer absolutely nothing new or creative in any way. I get that there are only a finite amount of ideas for a story out there, but even if you're doing something that has been done before you can at least put your own spin on it. 'The Tank' is as bad as films get.

I don't want to be too harsh on this film, so I'll just list a few of the things I didn't like without going into too much detail. I thought the creatures weren't very impressive visually and they conveniently only attacked when it was necessary to the story. Otherwise they would just sit there making gargling sounds. Also the film puts a child right in the middle of the story who is extremely annoying and also guarantees the safety of certain characters. There is nothing that kills the tension in a horror movie more than kids.

The dialogue is bland and completely lacking in creativity, the movie doesn't know how to build tension in a scene, the setting isn't scary and the acting is poor. I did not like this film. A generous 2.5/10.

I went into the movie without any knowledge of what it could be. So without any expectations i started it.

It had a pretty slow start. But still interesting to see it evolve. I always love to see unknown monsters and mysterious sounds in movies. Good scaring moments throughout the movie. So i have to say it was surely good to watch if you have a vivid imagination.

Overall it is not one of the best horror movies i have ever seen. But if you have nothing to do, this is a great one to see with some friends and some snacks and drinks. Or maybe a new friend that you met and want to have a chill evening.

If you survive the first 40 minutes or so (of introduction) without falling into Morpheus's gentle and comforting arms, you get a pretty standard "horror" flick with some monsters, lots of stupid decisions, in the end I rooted for the beasts. The Tank tries to be something like The Descent but can't compete on any level - production, story, thrill, acting, everything is inferior to The Descent. The premise of The Tank is not that bad, maybe even interesting, but the execution is, well, just boring. Recommendation: if you want to really waste some time (like I did), maybe with the notion that you are immortal and you have a lot of time to waste, put The Tank on your menu, if not, watch something else.

It's not that The Tank is a completely horrible film.

The acting is rather decent.

The monster is kind of cool (at least it's not horribly rendered with CGI).

And it has a dark and foreboding atmosphere.

The basic premise here, is that a giant storm, in the distant past, washed a bunch of axolotls (or other such amphibious creatures) from the ocean, into the septic tank of a house in a remote community...causing them to mutate into carnivorous human-eating salamanders (or, possibly, reptiles)...as a result of their exposure to human excrement.

At least that is what is implied...I think.

However, it's rather hard to get around the ridiculous logic on which the story is based.

First and foremost, the way the father finds and enters the tank- which supposedly awakens/releases the beast- is absurd.

Literally noone goes to a new place...sees an overgrown grate...and is overcome with the curiosity to lift and enter it.

It's just not plausible, or believable.

And comes off completely forced.

Not to mention, axolotls don't even live in the ocean...and if they did get washed into a septic tank (by some freak course of nature)...that doesn't really meet the criteria of them becoming "land based" creatures.

On top of that...not only is the whole first half of the film incredibly basic...it's also rather boring.

With the introduction of characters (outside of the family) coming off as equally forced as the father entering the septic tank in the first place.

Plus, the way the monster first appears, also doesn't make any sense- as it seems to be some sort of supernatural force, as opposed to an actual flesh and blood creature.

I guess, if you can suspend disbelief- and ignore all the logical inconsistencies around which the story is based- you can garner some enjoyment from watching the film...despite it's mediocrity.

You just have to accept that it is all some sort of divine cosmic intervention, to bring karmic justice upon a family that dabbles in the trafficking of endangered species (for the purpose of the pet trade).

At least they put a little imagination into it...by taking some of the world's cutest creatures...and transforming them into terrifying monstrous beasts, hellbent on the destruction of humanity.

So...there's that, at least.

But I can't help but think that this was a completely avoidable situation.

3.5 out of 10.