Journey to Promethea

This is the stupidest movie I have every seen. I could do better filming it in my back yard. I can't believe the video store even carries it. We couldn't even get through the whole movie. The best/worst part that had us in stitches was when Ari dies and they try to simulate the drama of Gladiator with the flashing of his wife on the screen. And his dying agony is probably the worst acting I have ever seen. The costumes are so fake and cheap looking. My son and I were almost crying we were laughing so hard at how ridiculous this movie was. Why did all of the villains have to have stupidly made up distorted faces? What was the deal with the fortune teller with bad white contact lenses? They definitely spent their money on the DVD cover to make it look remotely interesting. But what a stupidly bad movie. What kind of low has Billy Zane sunk to to be in it? Or did he just want to roll around for a few hours with the pathetic actresses in his scenes? Why did the princesses guards have next to no clothing on and half of the people had bare feet? I could go on and on.....

While you can get away with low budget movies, trying to do so with a cast this large, produced a very bad result. Hackney scripting, acting and story telling. Bad props, terrible makeup, horrible voice effects.

I do not blame anyone really, when you try to do a fantasy epic on 2 million dollars, Boom, this is your end result. This is ok for say, some friends who got together and did a fantasy movie, for almost zero dollars spent (because in reality 2 million for something of this scope is nearer to Zero dollars then not. )

Not good, not worth your time watching really.

Compare and Contrast this with something like Saga, Curse of the Shadow ..

That was "low" budget done right, I am sure its budget was bigger then this, but still, it was done right.

Bad acting, bad dialog,bad writing, bad directing, bad special effects, and bad musical score but other than that a good movie. The only saving grace is the queen's scantily clad Amazon guards. The male soldiers were armor but the ladies do not require much more than a loin cloth. This movie could not make up its mind whether to be soft core porn or a serious film and as a result it was neither. I have seen better acting in porn films as well as better plots. And what is with those fake British accents?

I cannot believe that someone had $200 million dollars just laying around that needed to be spent on this dog of a movie. Surely there are more worthy causes that could benefit from this money. Scholarships for clown college perhaps?

Hear ye, hear ye.....if you think that this kind of language is impossibly exciting then you will probably tolerate JTP.....but seriously....

Every single cliché ever is trumped by some of the worst filming lighting and sound, if you were to gave a bunch of renaissance fair geeks some high quality cameras and a wardrobe budget that would be (verily) a massive improvement.

The acting would grace any high school stage - and in fact the whole exercise looks like it was cooked up by a high school drama team.

The only magic here is the amazing trick that someone pulled in getting this greenlighted - promote that person I say - they managed to turn a pile of manure into well, more manure, while still making gold from dross for themselves - now that's magic.

If you love anything with magic, knights, and princesses, then don't, just don't, seriously, there is nothing remotely magic about this and you will watch and then go off and burn your costumes in shame.

Definitely only for the fanboys.....and then probably not even them....

I'm too tormented by visions of gray knit "chain mail" armor & the awesomely enormous budget my nephew's 3rd grade spring play had compared to the apparent budget of this flick. I think the best, clearest indicator of the caliber of this movie is in the list of cast on the front of IMDb's page for this movie. Billy Zane is featured prominently on the cover of the movie, but appears nowhere on the primary cast listing. The first mention you see of his name on the IMDb site itself is in the review appearing on the primary page. He may or may not be listed in the extended cast listing you can reach by clicking "full cast & crew", but I don't want to know.

Just... don't. Really. You won't regret it. The other reviews are not lying. Unless you're feeling really lackadaisical and not too concerned with enjoying the experience, in which case, go for it. :-)