Mio padre è un sicario

Always up for a Nic Cage film. When I saw the trailer, it looked like a good premise and had some talent attached to it. I was just waiting for a DTV release date. Imagine my surprise when I saw that it received a theatrical release. After walking out of the theatre, I completely understand why it is scheduled to drop down to one showing a day for it second week theatrically.

Every known name involved must've been persuaded by the idea of picking up a quick paycheck while soaking up some sun in Miami and the Cayman Islands.

A good story idea.....poor acting, dialogue, script, action set pieces, cinematography, squibs, plug-ins, and I could go on for a lot more.

Nic Cage always brings something to one of his films, but it's very little in this one. There was one semi creative action scene, set up inside his hotel room, but otherwise, these characters seem to spend more time answering their cell phones, then firing a gun.

The best things that The Retirement Plan has going for it all hinge on the inherent comedic edge of its wacky premise. Sadly, these things are hardly ever the focus.

In fact, if you've seen the trailer, you've seen almost every good moment in this movie.

A handful of impressive moments arise when the great Nic Cage is allowed to flex his humorous energy as he kills people in hilarious fashion, and these moments were the one saving grace that kept the movie watchable.

Sadly, for most of the runtime, we're treated to a whole lot of nothing.

It's very poorly directed, having all the style of a straight-to-DVD Steven Seagal movie. And the script gives the characters absolutely nothing of interest to do and no intriguing interactions to have as they fumble their way through this generic, convoluted, banal, creatively bankrupt story without an ounce of a soul.

Oh, and the music sucks too. I'd be shocked if it all wasn't just stock action-movie music pulled off of iMovie.

Nicolas Cage films are always a hit or a miss, his entire career actually. This is a film that without it's charming cast or it's neatly interwoven storyline would have been a total dumpster fire. Therefore making it a perfect Nicolas Cage film.

The acting ranges vastly from silly to serious, same goes for the films tone. It bounces between funny and dramatic in an instant and it's never sure which one to settle on. However, again with the films strange charm, it's all somehow inexplicably smoothed over in the end.

Overall, I'm surprised I enjoyed it. Most of the film feels like a made for tv special but for some strange reason, I kept wanting to watch til the very end. Am I glad I did? I'm not sure yet, but I do know it was an entertaining way to waste an afternoon.

3 flash drives out of 5.

This movie straddles the line between campy spoof and dark comedy, and pretty much misses the mark on both. Although there is indeed some hilarity throughout, the convoluted criminality with absurd layers of hyper espionage makes it mostly a mish-mash mess of meandering maladjustments. It coulda shoulda woulda been much funnier except for the stilted direction, wasting some fine supporting actors. It might be worthy of a second viewing with the expectation of nothing more than nonsensical silliness which it does deliver as only a Cage movie can all the way through to what has to be an intentionally inept ending.

I went into this movie with low expectations. Likely due to that I actually enjoyed it. Always like Nicolas Cage and he's really the main star of the movie and only reason to watch this. My main gripe is his daughter Ashley. She basically just plays an annoying character the entire movie and freaks out every chance that she can get. It's like she's having a panic every time she speaks. She has a continual look on her face like she suffering from a small bowel obstruction. I'm really perplexed that Hollywood continue continually churns out characters like her in these movies, which only act to annoy the viewer. She adds nothing to the movie in a beneficial way, and we never care for her even remotely. I would've given this movie one more star if they would've killed her off before it ended. Regardless, a fun, entertaining movie, but don't expect too much.