Hemet, ovvero la padrona di casa non beve il tè

BayView Entertainment dropped the low-budget flick "Hemet, or the Landlady Don't Drink Tea" on Digital and VOD platforms on November 26th, and I finally got around to watching it at 5 a.m. Today. This movie really carves out its own niche: you could call it a filthy slasher drama, and that pretty much sums up the wild ride it offers.

If you're into humor that's dark and a bit raunchy, and you don't mind some over-the-top social and political jabs, then Hemet is definitely worth checking out. I found myself both entertained and laughing at the mix of crude jokes and clever satire that was so bad it somehow worked in its favor.

Directed by Tony Olmos and written by Brian Patrick Butler, the film revolves around a strange group of folks forced to live in a rundown apartment building run by the deranged Liz, played by Butler in drag with a ton of makeup. She keeps her tenants-Martin (Merrick McCartha), Gary (Matthew Rhodes), Howie (Pierce Wallace), and Tank (Nick Young)-in check with threats of eviction, rent hikes, or losing perks like their parking spots.

For me, the standout moment in Hemet is Brian Patrick Butler's performance as Liz. She's scheming and snarling, delivering lines like, "You better get a second job sucking dick or selling bath salts because your rent just went up a hundred dollars a month..." and "I drink four things: blood, cum, coke, and rum... and I've already had three of those today!"

This was a film that I learned about through Dan Butler when he reached out to me via Bluesky, to see if I'd be interested in watching for review. Since I like to check out independent cinema when I can, I agreed. I did come into this one mostly blind, making sure that it was in the horror genre. This doubles as a Foray through the Fours film.

Synopsis: a tyrannical landlady lords it over her tenants during an epidemic, pitting them against each other in a web of paranoia spun for deadly results.

We start this with a couple of guys sitting outside talking. There is Martin (Merrick McCartha) and Gary (Matthew Rhodes). What we learn through their dialogue is that there is an odd epidemic. People are taking bath salts and becoming zombies. We see one approach. Gary is ready to kill it with a baseball bat when another resident, Howie Stumpp (Pierce Wallace), throws a steak. This homeless person chases after it.

Now let me give a bit more of a lay of the land. This is an apartment complex run by Liz Topham-Myrtle (Brian Patrick Butler). She's the tyrannical landlady. Due to this epidemic, Marshall law is in effect so she can evict anyone, at any time and they're required to leave immediately. This happens to Martin who she claims is a slob. She also raises Gary's rent for making rude comments. Liz gets along well enough with Rosie Perkins (Kimberly Weinberger), at least currently.

Rosie lives in a two bedroom apartment with Jason (Aleksander D'Avignon). He's a musician and on tour, but he comes home early. There is a vehicle in his parking spot so he's annoyed. This leads to the two fighting and him breaking a shot glass on Rosie's head. Liz calls Rosie, letting her know that Kate (Aimee La Joie), who is Liz's daughter, is moving into Martin's old apartment. She's going to need parking spaces. This friction is just the beginning of things bubbling over.

I'll also include that there is a guy, Tank (Nick Young), living here. He is spying on the residents, taking pictures. I believe a comment is made that he's doing this to help Liz rule this place. Tank is just biding his time, seeing an opportunity to team up with Gary to steal the place. The true owner is willing to sell. Liz has the money but is holding off. Things go downhill when Tank accuses Howie of being a pedophile. He enlists the aid of Gary. This leads to murder, torture and mayhem as everyone gets pulled into this giant web of deceit.

That is where I'll leave my recap and introduction to the characters. Where I'll start is that this is a tough film to pull off. It works within the confines of the budget. What you mostly need are a good group of actors who bring their characters to life. It is interesting that this is listed as a horror film though. There are zombie-like people, but that is more of an incidental story element. That seems mostly there to have President Phil Graves (Mark Allyn), allowing someone like Liz to have complete control and not need due process. The story goes dark though, especially with things that we see later, so I don't have issues including it in the genre. The elements are just limited.

Now that I've set that up, let's delve more into the plot structure. I do love that we have this shady apartment complex. Gary reveals in dialogue to Howie that people who live here are either poor or trying to get away from something. The latter reveals that his girlfriend broke up with him and this place was the first he could afford. Now Gary thinks he's hiding something horrible that he's done. Rosie seems like a good person. It is just interesting that Liz is a slumlord. She changes rent and evicts people with no notice. Due to her doing bad things, she takes advantage of people and pushes them into crime. Liz is also hilariously played by the writer, Brian Patrick Butler, who is a man. This reminded me of the Mother Riley character from the United Kingdom.

Before completely moving away from the story elements, I want to just leave a couple more points. This feels like a Coen Brothers or a Quentin Tarantino film in that we have characters who are shades of grey, making decisions. Ultimately, everyone's choice is going to hurt someone else. It all just takes you being pushed enough to where you don't care that it will affect them. That's where it tends to come back to Liz. Another film that this feels in the vein of is Killer Joe. No offense to the filmmaking team, it isn't on the level of those filmmakers or that movie I referenced, but in a similar style.

Let's then go over to what carries this and that would be the acting performances. I've already said that Butler plays the Liz character in a funny fashion. What I didn't say is that she makes vulgar, sexual comments that cracked me up. Weinberger is someone we see that butts heads with Gary, but then she's pushed by Jason to do bad things. La Joie has made poor choices which brings her back with her two children. She works in her role. McCartha, Rhodes, Young, Wallace and the other tenants work. I didn't bring up Sheriff Hunting (Randy Davison) or his other officers. They side with Liz, mostly due to not knowing the evidence and being swayed. That adds to the tension as well.

All that is left then is filmmaking. This has a lower budget look to it but that's not an issue. I still think that they do well enough at isolating our characters to this complex. We see a few times that there are homeless people who are using drugs then going into a rabid state. That helps to contain our people for fear of infection. This feels like places I lived when money was tighter or places I've gone when younger. This is limited to the effects used but when we get them, they look solid. Looked to be done mostly practical so credit to the team there. Something funny is that you can tell Butler is wearing a mask to be Liz. That made me chuckle. Other than that, the sound design and music fit what was needed.

In conclusion, this is a challenging film to categorize, leaning more into a gritty crime drama with shades of grey morality than a traditional horror film, despite its incidental zombie-like elements. While the lower budget is apparent, the film succeeds due to its strong character performances, particularly Butler's humorous portrayal of Liz. It won't be for everyone, but if you appreciate low-budget, character-driven crime films that delve into dark themes and human deceit, then this movie is worth checking out to an extent.

My Rating: 6 out of 10.

Here's a fun and hilarious flick that hits all the right notes in everything it sets out to be: dark comedy, horror, satire, farce and a lot more going on. It's wickedly funny, and not in a "so-bad-it's-good" mode; with fun, thrilling and a little shocking bits, and a smart humor that pokes fun of all sides of a divided society: left and right cannot escape from criticism in the story and it's something that goes without heroes or people to root for, If you look closely to everything shown you'll see a basic criticism of recent times and events, with a dark humored and horrific perspective.

In simple terms, it's another apocalytical story revolving on zombie creatures and the survivors of a bizarre pandemic trying to lead their lives and basically fighting each other due to their personal differences. But there's a lot more happening and the real danger comes from the uncontaminated folks living on a place run by an old, crude and nasty landlady (Brian Patrick Butler) who simply doesn't care about her tenants, and always makes some scheme to leave them paranoid against each other. And at the same time, many of those tenants will make their own schemes against the old lady, and the salt bath infected zombies will be the least of the problems.

Won't say I was scarred by what was shown as I was more invested in the few thrills it offers (halfway through it becomes a whodunit of sorts with deaths that aren't related with the pandemic), and the many comedy bits with hilarious lines and sequences. Few bits worthy of mention are the banter between tough guy Tank and the Sheriff; the old lady in bed with the prostitute (poor guy was used so bad); and the title line revolving on what she actually drinks instead of tea. Sure, there's a few jaw-dropping moments here and there, and a few random things that don't make any sense but it's the absurdity of it all that conquer viewers easily, along with the enjoyable performances from the cast. Overall, an entertaining picture. 7/10.