A Feature Film About Life

This movie is very Romanian in style and topic. Which means it's right up my alley but maybe not to anybody's liking. It takes some patience. It's draggy, grim, lingering, ugly, depressing. But very much real life.

Dovile is only a few years younger than me going by the recordings that her father made of her as a child, conveniently time-stamped. I buried my father in 2018, but I mostly just attended the funeral. After that one of my biggest fears, lingering somewhere in the background, always pushed away, cause I hope it's gonna be far away still, is the fact that I will have to bury my mother and I will be very much alone doing it. Dovile is not and the synopsis is not right. She gets instructions, help, unwanted mostly, but she doesn't do it alone. Her mom gets on her nerves, the old family friend can be tactless but provides help when needed. It is only at the end when her agency and creativity kick in and she decorates the funeral parlour with flowers of her own choosing and framed pictures of her dad and let's say the ceremony is a hit. Strange to say it but I guess it's what you would hope for, right? For people to remember them in their prime, lively, happy, full of promise. Not the shrinking, reclusive, aging version that people do not speak to for months but speak of politely in conversation with others. I loved the the montage between present day mourners and old footage from parties and events, when they were young and having fun, and the music is very well chosen too.

Dovile herself wasn't in touch with her dad, she rejects his phone calls while having fun with her friends, she hadn't seen him in a while, but was planning to go see him at Christmas. It's the classic distant relationship between parents and adult children. And by the way where are her two friends now when she's going through this? It's another contrast the way they joke about their cheap parents on holidays of old and what she has to go through discussing cremation, clothes, coffin, cross, funeral parlour, etc. Also, I do not understand the stinginess, she travels abroad, she dresses well. I would never purchase funeral services from a makeshift garage on the outskirts. Yes, the dead don't know and don't care but why put yourself through that process, chasing the cheapest option? Maybe she just goes along with it but boy oh boy was that depressing. In Romania we get what is called "funeral support" and it is quite generous and funeral homes offer full packages to fit everything into it. I imagine that's not the case for Lithuania.

Anyway, apart from the religious cultural differences, the whole thing, including family relationships and behaviours felt very familiar to me.