"The Taint" is a textbook example of an amateur horror movie made by a bunch of over-enthusiast film fanatics that spent way too much time watching 80's junk in their basements. These are the people who watched stuff like "The Dead Next Door", "Street Trash" and maybe even Peter Jackson's "Bad Taste" over and over again whilst promising each other they would make their own movie like that one day. Basically I don't have anything against this type of Z-grade cinema, but I reckon it's a lot more fun to be part of making the film than to actually watch it. "The Taint" is an unbelievably gross, disgusting and offensive bunch of nonsense. Think about Troma's most notorious titles, but multiply the nausea by ten. Writer/director/lead actor Drew Bolduc obviously suffers from an unhealthy obsession for the male reproductive organ. There's an immeasurable amount of fake penises in this film, mostly just hanging out of people's pants or squirting thick white goo into other people's faces. For you see, the water supply is contaminated and turns all the men into zombie-like misogynist monsters with only one remaining purpose in life: smash in the head of every woman that crosses their path. The taint was initially a miracle potion developed by two nerdy scientists who wanted to enlarge their own penis, but a few things went wrong. One of the last remaining uninfected males is high-school stoner Phil O'Ginny, but he needs the help of dominant battle-ax Misandra to survive. Drew Bolduc and his buddies tried really hard to put as many provocative themes into their film. There's scat, teenage abortion with a coat hanger, gang rape, Nazi propaganda and various other filth. The images are never shocking, though, since the whole thing is just too ludicrous. Unfortunately the vast majority of the film is dull and stupid, especially since all characters (even the most insignificant supportive ones) insist on telling their boring life stories during idiotic and irrelevant flashbacks. Strangely – and surprisingly - enough, "The Taint" isn't all too awful from a more technical point of view. With this type of amateur junk, I expect to see dodgy hand-held camera-work and lousy hyperactive editing, but this one is relatively well-made and decent. The acting performances are horrendous, but that's obligatory and part of the charm. The gore and splatter effects, on the other hand, are quite stupendous! I presume 99% of the non- existent budget went straight to fake blood and make-up. With all the computer engineered crap nowadays, the grossness in "The Taint" was more than praiseworthy. Avid fans of trash and schlock will have a great time tracking down this sick puppy. Personally, I thought it was okay, but it could have used less idiocy and a lot less penises.
