The Coffee Table

When I saw michael Hanneke's funny games i thought that was the movie i would never wanted to see again, but this picture came and... It's not bad, I hated the movie I really did but the picture itself wants you to hate it, so I guess it made it. Everything is a roller coaster, but theres no ups, just rolling down from the top and you don't see where the end is near. I wanted so desesperately to this movie to end, every five minutes is just me checking how much time is left. THE scene, is so unoredictiable and that was when this movie hit me and dragged me. So ig you're sicko and you love you to see when a baby is crying, when somebody falls from a chair, when someone forgets a speech, You'd like this movie. I hated it and I loved it.

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I didn't know much about the movie, just enough to be curious. The movie gets to the point fast, there's no time wasted and out of nowhere boom the nightmare is on. If you are into tense, atmospheric, anxiety inducing movies, go watch it, you will find yourself in a tour of hell.

I am sure from now on whenever I will hear or see anything related to coffee tables my heart will stop for a second. Also, I have recently become a father which contributed tremendously to how I experienced the movie.

Not at all what I was expecting. I got the impression from people's remarks when this first hit streaming services that this would be some new trash shocker in a category with films like The Human Centipede and/or A Siberian Film, however it is nothing like that. While both of those films have their share of underlying humor, The Coffee Table is almost entirely almost humorless, and attempts to take one idea and stretch it out into a feature length film.

Unfortunately, a rather creative concept and some admirable acting performances are tainted by a film that's entire second half has virtually no worthwhile elements, and seems to simply draw itself out until it's long enough to be a feature length. The entire second half of the film is nothing but meaningless dialogue between 4 characters that in no way furthers the story, or ups any tension or intrigue - instead it actually slowly diminishes the tension as the runtime progresses, and by the time the finale hits, it is very difficult to actually feel anything for any of the characters. While the characters are relatively realistic archetypes, none of them are especially likable - so there aren't a lot of emotive stakes when the film's chaos ensues.

But, massive flaws aside, I have a bit of respect for The Coffee Table, for its ambition, creativity, and commitment, however it is not a very good movie, and I think it might take it self a bit too seriously. But, who knows, maybe it's someone's true story?

A put-upon husband gets his way for once, and then screws up in the worst way imaginable.

Not a horror, but a black comedy fuelled by the awful unease of having to own up to the unspeakable. It is engaging, but doesn't really amount to much, and the comedy relies on heavy-handed irony and a score that tries to mix a sense of spaghetti western showdown into the mounting dread. Also very heavy on dialogue, which crowds out the need for action.

The central Event is dealt with off-camera, and only referred to afterward through the stains it leaves behind. A secondary Event is thrown in for gratuitous plot complications, but can't really be sustained by the rather plain characters. I thought the chance for dramatic irony was missed in not getting the wife to decide for herself to stay out of the room: "I promised not to become over-attentive, like my mother" - along those lines.

The performances are good, with the psychic pain of the lead character well delivered. And the direction keeps up variety in a tight location.

Overall: notable oddity.

P.s. There is a Jesus theme, but I don't think it informs the story. Maybe I need to think harder.

This movie is more devastating and shocking than every horror movie i have watched, except for MARTYRS (the original). I don't know if i should recommend it because, make no mistake, as it is unfolding, it's almost unbearable to watch. If you are the type of person that can't stand horrifying movies or else they get nightmares, don't watch it. There are no flesh eating monsters here, there are no masked killers, there is not even violence. Not even depraved/deranged characters. I won't say anything else in order to avoid spoilers.

There is a comedy element indeed here, but it's so dark and bleak that it's gonna make you feel guilty when you feel it. I am not gonna lie, i laughed a few times during the first 30 minutes. However, this is not a dark comedy. This is a psychological drama thriller, anxiety-inducing as a movie can be. As it was getting closer to the end, i literally wished for time to run faster because i couldn't stand it anymore. And i am not that sensitive, i love dark comedy and horror movies, i can watch almost anything.

I gave it a high rating because this is an unforgettable experience. For a guy who has watched thousands of movies, this is a great praise for a movie. This is a well acted and well directed movie that i won't forget soon.