Blood Relatives

Absolutely horrible movie. From the very start you know this is going to be a horrible ride.

The acting is downright terrible and the script is so poorly written you'll feel sorry for the actors even tho they are just as bad as the script.

The main problem is it tries too hard to be cute-funny and falls flat nearly all the time. Plus it's rather wordy and the acting isnt really good enough to plow through it.

It's anything for a laff, but It all falls flat.

In the end, the movie becomes tiresome with it's "cutsie" dialog and poor acting. Actually it becomes tiresome way before the end of the movie.

D level garbage not worth watching.

This was very poorly written and directed, and surprisingly, just bland and boring, and not funny at all. The concept was interesting, but it missed the mark in every other department. The two leads had zero chemistry, I'm sure mostly due to writer, director and lead actor Noah Segan's failure to direct himself and Victoria Moroles properly. The only really convincing actor was C. L. Simpson as Sylvie. Moroles' and Segan's dialogue also felt forced and convoluted, with Segan's occasional high-pitched voice squealing becoming cringe. The story had nothing much out of its basic narrative to offer - nothing really suspenseful or thrilling, or that wasn't cliched and predictable. For a comedy, we never laughed once. A decent effort for actor Segan to newly dabble in filmmaking, but maybe he wore too many hats on this one.

Right, well I sat down to watch the 2022 movie "Blood Relatives" because it was a movie that I hadn't already seen, but also because it was listed as a horror comedy.

Needless to say that I hadn't heard about this movie from writer and director Noah Segan prior to sitting down to watch it, so I didn't know what I was in for, aside from it being a vampire-based horror comedy.

And now having sat through the 88 minutes that the movie ran for, I must say that you have to look hard and long for a shred of comedy here. I didn't laugh once throughout the course of "Blood Relatives". Sure, there were elements hinting towards light comedy, but the movie never transitioned into being a comedy. So I feel somewhat cheated on that account, as I was expecting a proper horror comedy. Instead, I was given a horror drama laced with light elements of hints toward comedy.

While writer Noah Segan definitely was on to something here with the script and storyline for "Blood Relatives", then the movie sort of fell flat on the ground after a running start. Yeah, the movie was severely hindered by a really slow narrative without much of anything exciting, thrilling or fun happening. So you essentially just sit through a very slow paced roadtrip for two estranged vampire family members.

The acting performances in "Blood Relatives" was fair enough, but it was a shame that leading actor Noah Segan (actually the writer and director as well, duh!) and leading actress Victoria Moroles hadn't much solid contents to work with from the script that Noah Segan had compiled.

For a horror comedy then "Blood Relatives" was a flaccid and uneventful movie, and not a movie that I would recommend for fans of the horror comedy genre.

My rating of "Blood Relatives" lands on a three out of four stars, because the movie was rather uneventful and way too slow paced.

First off regardless of a films subject or story, anything that's written, directed and starting the same person virtually never works out well. So why 'Blood Relatives' has a 96% Certified Fresh on Rotten Tomatoes, is beyond me... especially after watching the film.

Now lets talk about 'Blood Relatives'. Its largely absent of both foley and diegetic sounds, mainly consisting of just 1-on-1 dialog and the occasional Yiddish(or punk rock) ditty. Which from my perspective, makes the film just feel hollow. The acting itself and cinematography weren't bad at all, and I did appreciate the on location filming over a studio/green-screen production.

However, 'Blood Relatives' ultimately failed to deliver any meaningful substance, I'd call it neither a comedy nor horror. And again, why it has one of the highest Tomato ratings, with 22 Fresh critic reviews, is beyond me. What I can tell you though, is the theme seems to be founded in a mutual consensus of finding the film "charming". The adjective shows up in almost all critic review synopsis'. IMHO that's just a passive-aggressive way of saying it was bad!

Not well adapted to vampire movies, batting around in the night, even though i am a night nurse of proffesion and most of the preference of a vampire is there, yes, ive got some pfangish molars and love beef tartar ive yet to become draculized...

but this was a kinda original take on the pestilence, very nicely set and gone, in the hands of noah segan , with witts and fun without exhagerating the topic of bloodthirst.

Its a small casted and well acted dark comedy about two strangers that meet in the middle of the night due to the need of darkness, a girl and a man, the man who sowed a seed 15 years ago in the heat of the dark, and the girl who grew out of this seed to become a beautyful daughter of his. But blending into blood relatives has its troubles, so here we go...

thanks to a short runtime, youll get flabbergasted when its over, i did at least, therefore a recommend from the grumpy old man. It has great sets, loads of gadgets and sttuff, its neatly camerahandled( the scene with the train in the background is mesmerizing) and its well edited. And its not horror at all, just comedy.