Boudica: La regina guerriera

Boudica: Queen of War (2023) is a historical film directed by Jesse V. Johnson and starring Olga Kurylenko as Boudica, the legendary Celtic warrior queen who led a rebellion against the Roman occupation of Britain in the first century AD. While the film has some potential, it ultimately falls short due to its uninspired direction, underwhelming action sequences, and a lack of historical accuracy.

One of the film's biggest problems is its direction. Johnson's lack of experience with large-scale action films is evident in the film's battle scenes, which are poorly choreographed and lack any sense of scale. The film's budget is also clearly limited, as evidenced by the use of cheap-looking sets and costumes.

Kurylenko is a talented actress, but she is not given enough to work with in this role. Her Boudica is a one-dimensional character who is defined by her anger and rage. The film does not explore her motivations in any depth, and her character arc is predictable and uninspired.

The film's historical accuracy is also questionable. The film takes liberties with the historical record, and there are several scenes that are simply not plausible. For example, the film depicts Boudica as having a magical sword that can fly through the air. This is a complete fabrication, and there is no evidence to support it.

Overall, Boudica: Queen of War (2023) is a disappointing attempt to bring the story of Boudica to life. The film is poorly directed, lacks scale, and is historically inaccurate. It is a missed opportunity to tell a truly epic story about one of history's most fascinating women.

Imagine Gladiator, but with nowhere near the budget, script, pacing, actors, effects, or directorial flair, but which does share the playing fast and loose with actual history bit, and you've pretty much got the picture.

Thus if your idea of a worthy historical portrayal of the Celtic Britton queen Boudica's revolt against the Romans, is to have a Ukranian actress play the eponymous main character, then have her daughters played by two girls of Fijian descent for some bizarre reason, all of whom couldn't act their way out a wet paper bag. Then have them go up against cardboard cutout pantomine villains which make Dick Dastardly look like a credible real-life character, then this is the movie for you.

Seriously, the performance by those two girls is more wooden than the wheels on Boudica's chariot. It's almost worth watching just to see how bad they are.

Of course movies of this type are going to tweak history a bit to make them enjoyable to watch, but this script alters the truth so extensively that there are episodes of Scooby Doo which are more historically accurate. Then again, if you like films with more blood and guts than the average Saw movie, you might at least like those parts of it. But having said that, whilst it is undeniably true ancient sword and spear battles were certainly bloody affairs, just when you think, 'well at least this bit is reasonably accurate', get ready for Boudica's magic sword. Yes really. By the power of Grayskull!

So what we have here, is essentially a cheap sword and sandal fantasy slasher flick, masquerading as an ancient historical biopic. The historical events and characters in the film are limited to the following: yes there was such a place as Ancient Britain and a native Iceni/Trinovantes army led by a woman nicknamed Boudica which conducted a briefly successful revolt against Britain's Roman occupiers, and yes one of the Romans who provoked the rebellion was called Catus Decianus.

And that's about it; everything else is pretty much not even remotely true, grossly misrepresented, or just plain incorrect, and that includes the costumes, armour, weapons, tactics, military units, scenery, dialogue, behaviour of the people, social conventions and even the reasons for the revolt in the first place.

Add to that some mind-numbingly bad script-writing and pacing and nowhere near the budget necessary to portray a revolt which, in truth, involved an army which most historians put at about 120,000 Celts, which killed and tortured an estimated 80,000 people - including a lot of Britons as well as Romans incidentally - and you've got this travesty of a movie.

Seriously, this thing makes Team America look like a documentary.

Where to begin?

The acting is embarrassingly bad. The casting is embarrassingly bad since this is a historical drama... But I can't say exactly how and why without risking being banned and doxxed and deprived of life, love, liberty, and income, because that's the right way to run a civilization, for sure™.

The movie wasn't a total waste. I did find it hilarious how the brass sword magically healed and floated through space and made that ridiculous ringing sound. No, seriously, my sides hurt from those scenes, and in all sincerity, I thank you.

As far as the rest of the movie, it's about as faithful a reference to historical events as you should expect if your I. Q. is above around 95. Meaning, it's total garbage.

And now, I'm tired of typing.

Absolutely awful to the point that it approached the level of a comedic parody. It has damaged Kurylenko's career and probably neutered other hopefuls in the rather thin cast. I suppose some of the fault could be assigned to what was likely a very low budget. It looked like a school play really or a production on the stage at a renaissance faire.

The costumes and scene design were cheap, unimaginative and not even close to authentic. They looked like the costume design team had gone down to Jo Annes Fabrics at their local strip mall and dug around in the discount bin.

The editing only made the wooden acting and the strange script more awkward. This is a career killing film and laughably bad. 2 out of 5 stars!

Not sure even where to start with this one. The script has to be one of the worst ones ever written. Why even bother to make a "historical" movie if you are going to pepper it with modern speech.

It is cringingly bad in this respect.

Boudica spent most of her time looking like a hippy art teacher complete with smock.

Obviously shot on a low budget, they tried to make 9 or 10 Romans look like 80. Lots of gore, the action wasn't bad at first but soon became very repetitive as Boudica took on the elite Roman centurions one at a time and dispatched them with ease.

And apparently Boudica or Boedicia took advice from her dead daughters. Of course !

Please stop making such terrible films about actual interesting historical figures.