Tótem - Il mio sole

Tona is Sol's father and he's very sick. He will soon die and the movie follows his family going through the preparations of his farewell birthday party as well as the party itself.

The movie focuses on Sol's day and how she is dealing with this as well as all the other family members and their various ways of coping (or not...) with Tona's imminent death.

While the acting is top notch, the subject is really depressing and the fact that the film is basically a huis-clos (even the scene shot in the car doesn't show anything but the car's interior) makes it a suffocating and unpleasant experience. Obviously the death of a loved one is a mournful experience but that degree of realism can hit you pretty hard.

The movie theater audience felt certainly just as drained as I was at the end. People just sat in their seats as the end credits rolled in, taking in the huge blow they just experienced. Do NOT watch this movie if you're already feeling low.

Tótem follows Sol, a seven-year-old girl, as she spends a day at her grandfather's house, where her family is making preparations for a surprise birthday party for Sol's father, Tona.

This movie could be described as a cinematic stream of consciousness since the family dynamics depict dysfunctionality seen in different ways in each character and how they manage with the fact that Tona has cancer and his deteriorated health make any future uncertain.

Tótem is efficient in saying without words. Communicating with images that speak louder than any dialogue could. This allows the development of the story to be smooth yet effective in an empathic and natural way.

Tona is dying and this is the day of his birthday and his family are holding a party for him. Lila Aviles' stunning debut feature "Totem" observes the events of the day in almost forensic detail and how they impact on all the participants; Tona's father, his sisters, his extended family and friends, his carer and most of all on his young daughter, Sol, who doesn't know her father is dying yet senses it nevertheless.

There's nothing sentimental nor particularly dramatic in Aviles' film. It's as if she and her camera just dropped by to record the events of just one day in these people's lives and what happens is both funny and moving like life itself. All the performances are superb and Naima Senties is often quite extraordinary as Sol. On the strength of this one film Aviles would seem to have quite a future ahead of her.

Among the 10 best films I saw in 2023, four are about little girls who, in their childhood and growth, confront situations that transcend their daily activities, due to the strength or charm of the events. In the medium-length film «Le pupille» by the Italian director Alice Rohrwacher, the events that the girls experience during Christmas, in the middle of World War II, are closer to play and rebellion; but in «Alma viva» by the Portuguese cineaste Cristèle Alves Meira, «Brujería» by the Chilean filmmaker Christopher Murray and now in «Tótem» by Mexican director Lila Avilés, three girls must face powerful situations that affect their family stability.

«Tótem» revolves around the birthday party of Tonatiuh (played by screenwriter Mateo García Elizondo), a 27-year-old painter who is dying of cancer. This celebration will mark the life of his daughter, little Sol (Naima Sentíes), who, in the morning, arrives at the house of her psychologist grandfather (and father of Tonatiuh or Tona), where the party will be held. However, staying at her father's house is not a pleasant experience. The residents include two aunts who are mothers and do not seem to have a partner of any gender; three cousins and the woman who takes care of Tona. Among the eight residents there is a dynamic that makes the family dysfunction very evident, and Tona's illness seems more like a consequence of this toxic coexistence.

There is no mention of why Sol and her mother do not live with them, even though they both adore Tona, who is dying out, getting thinner, weaker and more suffering, and who will need extra strength and effort to be present at the party. During the morning, a spiritualist (who carries out a spiritual cleansing of the house, through rituals and incense) and a client of the grandfather also arrive: both women contribute to creating our impression of emotional imbalance. The house (no misogynistic allusion on my part) is like a matriarchal cage, where the men seem almost mutilated: the grandfather has lost the voice and Tona is dying. And I feel this impression because of the strength of the three main female characters in the house, compared to grandfather and Tona, who seem like byproducts of this family unit.

The excellence of Liles' direction and script, Diego Tenorio's cinematography, and of the performances by all cast members, combine to bringing this family to life on a crucial day in their lives and creating an exceptional film.

I saw this movie 2 hours ago and still have a lump in my throat.

An absolutely real and utterly absorbing story about a family living through a loss, together- magically - before the loss had even fully occurred.

The amazing thing about this movie to me was what it did NOT say. Never preachy, always forgiving - as we are with those we love - the screenplay painted the negative space, telling a far more eloquent story by letting us fill in the blanks with our own experiences.

Acting was terrific- which in this film meant that they didn't seem as if they were acting at all. Every actor fully inhabited their characters, effortlessly. Seamlessly. We watched them, these people, and laughed with them, and felt what they felt. I feel as if I'd been invited to the gathering as a part of the family.

So many scenes I'm left thinking about- wondering about not only what was unsaid but what had come before, and what went after. And then I realize I already know.

Finally, I would say the timeless "TOTEM" is, simply, an indelible statement on the value of life and love, and the meaning of our passing - as meaningful and as beautiful in its way as life itself. This movie is not only, suddenly, one of my favorite movies ever, but I'd say it's also one the few I've seen that changed me.

To me, this film is testament to film as a vehicle to make us feel, and remember to always feel, alive.