Finché morte non ci separi

So today I (mis)treated myself to a double feature of Meg 2 and Til Death Do Us Part. After Meg 2 failed to deliver on its minimal promises of schlocky fun I had my hopes that this would meet my expectations of being mildly entertaining. Unfortunately this couldn't even pass the lowest bar: at least be more entertaining than the movie I watched prior.

This movie is a beat-by-beat ripoff to the far superior Kill Bill films with lifeless performances from a cast that looked like they didn't want to be there. The characters are monotone, obnoxious, and one note. Cam Gigandet's character is by far the most insufferable of the bunch. Putting on random classic songs on vinyl and foolishly dancing around is his sole personality trait that probably took up to a total of 15 minutes of the film runtime throughout. If you want your character to be demented maybe...I don't know...do more?

It delivers on the blood and gore for the most part and usually when a film is this bad this can be a redeeming quality, even if it doesn't save the film entirely. But this did nothing for me. The jokes fall flat, the characters are cringe, and the film is about 20-25 minutes too long. There was no heart in this. The only positives I can give this are some decent fighting scenes and two pretty cool and bloody kills.

If you need some eye yoga, Til Death Do Us Part is the perfect choice: my eyes were in pain after watching this movie due to constant eye rolling. Additionally, I suspect that I lost a significant number of brain cells (note to self: be more selective about watching new movies, unless you want to become a brain-lobotomized zombie in a not so far away day). Not only does Til Death Do Us Part feed us a weak and uninspiring story, but the entire film is also rather tediously timed and poorly directed, the dialogues a terrible blabla. The production value also fails to elevate the movie to even average quality. If you're truly craving violence and action involving a bride (for whatever peculiar reason), I highly recommend watching Ready or Not or Kill Bill (again). Both films boast superior production, captivating storylines, and talented casts. Final words: a rather cheap and uninspired imitation.

.... just move along. Between the incredible long and dull setup and the poor action scenes with terrible dialogue in-between there is clearly nothing in this film that worth you sit and watch this dumpster fire.

Even in these troubled times where movies are ew and far between I'd rather watch a sharknado, at least it will be midly entertaining. This offered nothing, pretty sure my encephalogram was totally flat for the entire runtime.

I'd even rather make a grocery list or doing chores than having to watch another minute of this ... movie? Yes, calling it a movie is almnost an insult to other movies.

Just move along seriously.

Nobody should be comparing this to Ready or Not. This movie took 1 page of the brilliance of Ready or Not and crumpled it into 1 hour and 45 minutes of a complete mess. The dialogue between the groomsmen was just so terrible I fast forwarded most of the parts just to get to the end. The end had a decent twist but nothing of note. Very dissatisfied with this movie as I was really looking forward to this.

I think the best part of the movie were the last five minutes and I was so excited when the credits finally scrolled.

One act of praise is the Groom, he had about 5 lines in it and I think it was the best decision in his career bc he didn't talk.

How this movie hit the silver screen still has me scratching my head.

Grade: D-

A runaway bride has to fight off the groomsmen that come chasing after her.

The problem with this film is a lack of detail regarding the sub plot for bride and groom. We don't understand their relationship, the relationship they share with their "friends" or the relationship with their employer. You've watched nearly the entire film before things have started to come together well.

I will give the film credit for the stunt/action scenes, the poster art (even though it bugs me that the dress on the poster isn't the dress worn in the film (Don't ask me why it bothers me. It just does! OK.)) and the soundtrack. Some of the special effects were questionable and the supporting characters didn't bring much to the table. For me, I just couldn't get into caring about what was happening to the characters. They were bland, uninteresting and simply fodder for the kill scenes.

I had higher hopes coming into this so I'm a bit bummed out. I'm not sure that I'd suggest it to friends or even watch it again. If I had to choose between this and Ready or Not, I would choose Ready or Not over and over again.