Close to You

I'd heard some wonderful things about this film from those around me, and at my local art theater. Knowing this was a personal story for Elliot Page, I went in otherwise blind, wanting to see the results for better or worse-- and in spite of the post-festival IMDb rating (4.4/10 as of Sept. 2024).

The film is clearly a personal one, from the opening scene. The low budget is on display, but this is entirely a compliment: character actors you might recognize from other things are made to feel like real people, in a real family, in a real house. Visually, not a lot happens. There are no fistfights, there are no fancy camera tricks. The camera instead focused on the emotions of the characters, focusing on faces, and sometimes just the eyes. If you let yourself feel what the characters are feeling, the film is as rewarding as it is eye-opening.

It can be uncomfortable. It can be confusing. It can be confrontational-- but ultimately this is simply Sam's (Page) story, from his perspective. His own emotional journey, not just over the course of the film, but how every day, Sam is just a person, living his life. It was indeed uncomfortable to experience some of the things that might be normal every day occurrences for Sam, but seeing things from someone else's perspective is why we go to the movies. I'm glad that Page and director Dominic Savage (who absolutely has a bona fide resume) got to tell this story, and I'm glad I was there to watch them both tell it. Not all of the characters are sure what to do with Sam, and some try harder than others, but no one ever feels entirely where they should be. It is a movie of the moment, and captures-- what I can only assume-- the current moment perfectly. 8/10, watch it with someone you care about.

This piece is such an important milestone for the trans community. Those who claim the plot has left something to be desired have a fundamental misunderstanding of the point: the lived experience of a trans person. Anyone who has transitioned (or has wanted to and decided not to) will understand what this film was truly about. It will hit home in a way no other media can. We are all different, but our shared experiences bond us all together. The pain of a family who doesn't understand, who lay their own struggles with your identity at your feet and expect you to comfort them. The longing to be seen as who you really are, and the unprecedented joy you experience when someone you love finally does. The knife in your gut when you get misgendered. The strange sensation of being back in a place that has only ever known the old "you".

I can understand how someone who hasn't lived this would not be able to pick up on the emotional nuance. However, it's disappointing to see how low this rating is because too many people who can't comprehend it have weighed in. This feels like a classic turn of events in the trans (and queer) community. So grateful to Elliot and the team who made this.

This is about what it means to be seen, and feeling invisible seems like part of many trans people's lives, because our real self exists beyond the illusion, this is why only through delusion=de-illusion we can penetrate the veil and see each other. The physical transition allows the inner self to emerge and challenge the narratives of the illusion to help people enter something far more real. This used to be one of the ways how trans people as Berdache were serving within indigenous cultures. The ego only accuses others of being delusional for not buying into its illusion, which feeds the narcissistic false self that is reduced into an object.

The love interest at the end of the film revealed how much physical disability was almost like a connecting bridge between them, however, it is more than that, it is a search for depth and transcendence by those who have various physical disabilities, it is an exchange, in order to embody ourselves fully, sometimes we need to let go of some things, and a conventional beauty can be one of them, because it serves a homogenous norms and standards, which the ideology of sex binary has been providing for generations already to hold the paradigm within the master vs slave hierarchy. However, when you try to bring down into the body your own higher dimensional self, in a sense you can also manage to bring heaven or paradise down to earth. This is also one major reason why trans people used to be revered as sacred in many cultures for containing this ever-present potential to free humanity from a two dimensional consciosuness that keeps most humans in self induced prison. It can change the way we relate to others, it makes us humble, balanced and highly intelligent, because we operate at higher frequencies of the light. This is the sacrifice many trans people make, the way you see the world heals the world, and people connecting to you can be transformed by it. This is why trans people are so important as highlighters.

However, if the wider public can truly understand transgender people, it can not happen without exploring multi-dimensionality by deconstructing patriarchal narratives of what is a woman that perpetuate the oppression of women, because humans exist in the trinity of time, space and consciousness rooted in the Elemental Law of 3 (proton/electron/neutron), let it be understood that humans do not exist in duality of man and woman outside of ourselves, but trinity of man and woman within ourselves, this ignorance is what largely cultivated an epidemic of narcissism in our society through the fragmentation of our psyche, but also managed to reduce humans into an object or pieces of meat. Trans people are an embodiment of men and women as multi-dimensional subjects the same like art, dolls, etc. This is why this world can never truly get into the depth of trans people, and neither many trans people themselves, unless people start exploring the true nature of reality we live in from a scientific standpoint, which would also help in understanding autistic people, this is why it can be so hard to explain what is really happening on the inside. This kind of movie is still waiting to be made, which could become revolutionary and even life-changing, because most people still live in complete and utter ignorance about trans people, enough that politicians have been exploiting it to erase their existence to help the collective consciousness descend from the 3rd dimensions deeper into the 2nd to trap it in the matter, so that it could be controlled through the body. This is how trans people pose threat to the entire predatory paradigm based on exploitation.

All things are seen in terms of duality, however, by embodying both polarities, just like like those who can give and take away life through their own body (abortion), you gain consciousness as the authority over duality. When you turn the lights on or off, the consciousness is given authority to determine whether it is on or off. Not the outside authority. Time, Space and Consciousness become unified into Mother Trinity. Which consequently takes the power away from the biblical Male Godhead, this is how it permeates into Abrahamic religion and its programming.

The only use for binary thinking is purely utilitarian for those instances in which consciousness, through its persona, attempts to delineate which aspects of reality it wishes to presently investigate but that delineation must always remain acknowledged as temporary and provisional lest a social cancer comprised of pathological personas fastens on to it as actually representative of reality. For example, there is no way to absolutely define up versus down without referring either to an absolute position in space (the strong absolutist method) or the self preserving unitary position of the persona (the weak absolutist - narcissistic method).

The only truthful and accurate definition would be the relativist method that each point in space has its own up and down - much as each persona has its own self and non self. These two absolutist methods make use, symbolically speaking, of three nails: two horizontal (the strong absolutist method, with its reliance on one nail for good and another for evil) and the third for the vertical axis (the weak absolutist method, with its reliance on one nail for its one point of reference). But reality is neither two-dimensional, for there is a third dimension for which there exists no nail that the pathologically inhibited persona can conceive of, nor is it only three dimensional, for there exists time within which consciousness expands, nor is it only four dimensional, for there exists the unification of all reality within the fully expanded consciousness. The only evil is that which inhibits consciousness. And the fundamental inhibitor of consciousness is binary/two-dimensional consciousness of Man above and Woman below that burns the bridge that allows one to access the other, where the subject merges with the object to embody trinity/unity/heart/mystery/feminine.

In this way one can notice the paradox that trans women might be in a sense more real women and trans men more real men, because they are uncovering their real selves that laid dormant, whereas those who cling to labels and enforcing them onto others are more prone to their narcissistic false persona that controls them. Man and Woman are multi-dimensional, once that is recognized and fully embodied, the way you present yourself can reflect it all of a sudden. Trans people are a bridge to a more authentic world where people feel free to be more of who they are. Make no mistake, it is a bridge towards the freedom for all human beings on earth.

The film Matrrix was based on this soul searching journey that real trans people are undergoing, which the society attached to the matrix are pathologizing and dehumanizing, because they are protecting the 3D duality matrix system that suppresses the 'truth' existing within the symbolical number 3 and its whole curvature that represents the feminine, this is reflected back by the oppression of women and mother nature herself on this planet. It is the space that frees the mind and brings it back in touch with one's true nature stored in the unconscious, the higher self.

It has to be understood that many autistic and trans people in general are embodying an energetic intelligence that other people are either not biologically endowed with, or it remains dormant within them, and scientific evidences are already pointing in that direction.

First of all, this kind of film should explore the depths of gender dysphoria rooted in biological gender identity that directs your own entire life. The smell, anatomy, language, sound, psychosomatic symptoms, etc.

Secondly, delving into multiple challenges in life that serve as energetic messages to the body that is speaking back to the mind asking what it needs and how it needs you to embody it, the same like when it needs to eat, exercise, sleep, and so on.

Thirdly, and most importanly, it needs to explore the truth of what it means being human. This is why the filmmakers would perhaps benefit from reading Cosmic Mother by Monica Sjoo exploring the mistakes humans have made in the Bronze Age patriarchal ontology, mistakes about the nature of being and the nature of human being in this world, including what is natural and real, and how we need to re-discover our ancient practices and relationships to mother earth herself, which consequently becomes reflected by the harmonious state of human beings on this planet.

Close To You is poetic and symbolical, and I am grateful for having been able to read into it, it left me emotionally exhausted, but most people will probably miss the whole nuance and depth that permeates it. Let's hope films like this help people to help and encourage children to transition before unnatural puberty damages their body, so they could self actualize in a natural way, because what's truly natural is when the inner and outer worlds meet in harmony and not when nature is weaponized in order to trap the spirit in the matter by controlling the mind through it, this kind of psychotic mindset led to lobotomies and experiments by Mengele in Nazi Germany, this is how the authoritarian regimes used to rely on pathologization as a way how to disconnect people from their own inner nature. People who play God see all puberty as natural for all humans, because they have denied people their own nature already, this is the entire paradox, let it be perfectly understood that this is a predatory consciousness, it is a belief system that is imposed upon people to suppress nature. These people can not see what they are being manipulated to perpetuate because of their own ignorance of how energy works from a scientific standpoint, let alone Mother Nature herself. Understanding and holding the paradox within heals the world while allowing people to ascend in their own spirit.

Sam has left home - the small town of Coburg - moved to Toronto, and has transitioned from female to male. He now takes a trip home - the 1st in 4 years. On the train, he happens to meet Katherine, his best friend from high school.

The reason for the return is his father's birthday party, which allows the writers to populate the family with a selection of attitudes about the transition. His father is mostly relieved that Sam has found himself, and is no longer in pain. His mother will always remember him as her little girl, consistently misgenders him (not necessarily maliciously), and is concerned about his well-being, compared to his sister who stayed in Coburg and got married. His sister wonders why he never confided in her, when they shared a bedroom growing up. And his brother-in-law is transphobic.

Escaping the family, Sam seeks solace with Katherine.

This is a Elliot Page vehicle, inspired by his life. The direction allows him to casually show off his boy bod. This answers the question "where are they now"? However, after this autobiographical-inspired story, I am wondering what other projects he will appear in.

Using available-light photography lost one star by me. Too often, the subjects were shot with a background of a bright window, making it to hard to see facial expressions.

I really wanted to like Close to You, especially given the talent involved, including Elliot Page, but unfortunately, the film left me feeling underwhelmed. While it has some strong individual elements, they never quite come together to form a compelling, cohesive narrative.

The cinematography is beautiful, and the camera work captures the intimate moments well. The music also stands out-calming, evocative, and a perfect complement to the film's quieter, introspective moments. It's clear the filmmakers put a lot of effort into the aesthetics and atmosphere, and I appreciated that.

As for the performances, Elliot Page delivers a solid portrayal of their character, and many of the actors did their best with the material. The characters themselves are generally likable, but I never felt fully invested in their arcs. The writing, unfortunately, feels lackluster. The dialogue doesn't engage the audience or create the emotional depth needed to elevate the story. It's not that the film is overly slow, but it lacks a strong narrative drive. I can appreciate a slower-paced movie, but the plot here is sparse, and the film doesn't provide enough stakes or development to keep things interesting.

The movie revolves around the protagonist returning home, reconnecting with family, and re-engaging with an old girlfriend. But the family dynamic-while realistic-feels disjointed and drawn-out. For a good portion of the film, we watch the protagonist's family argue and struggle with unresolved issues, and I couldn't help but feel that these sequences dragged on unnecessarily. The family drama is there for a reason, but I found myself wishing the film had focused more on the central relationship, especially the connection with the old girlfriend. I would have preferred a more focused plot, where the protagonist attends some kind of reunion or gathering that leads to rekindling a romance. The family conflict could have been trimmed down or explored in a more meaningful way.

I understand that this film touches on themes of identity, acceptance, and the complexities of family dynamics, particularly around transgender issues. However, I feel the movie relies too heavily on the tension of the protagonist's identity and the discomfort it causes among family members. We've seen these types of conflicts before, and while they are important and real, they can feel repetitive if not handled in an innovative or engaging way. At some point, I wanted to see more of the protagonist's life beyond the familial drama-more exploration of love, relationships, and self-discovery, without always focusing on the external conflict of transphobia or familial rejection. It's a vital part of the narrative, but I think we need to move beyond these plot points and engage with the characters as complex, multifaceted individuals, not just as symbols of societal issues.

In the end, Close to You feels like it's stuck between wanting to be a deeply personal story about love and identity, and a more conventional family drama. But it doesn't fully commit to either. The movie lacks the narrative depth and emotional resonance needed to make it truly impactful. It's a shame because the potential was there-the performances, the direction, and the music all had promise-but the script and structure fail to tie everything together in a way that feels satisfying.

Ultimately, I think this film missed an opportunity to create something truly special. If it had focused more on the relationship dynamics and less on the drawn-out family conflict, it could have been a much stronger, more engaging story. As it stands, Close to You feels like a missed chance to tell a richer, more engaging narrative about love, identity, and human connection.