Vama Veche Retreat

It's a bad movie. Director, screenwriter, actors, absolutely all of them seem to be poor amateurs who met to produce a crappy movie.

The actresses are talentless, full of mannerisms, they play unnatural, forced, artificial, even embarrassingly weak.

The script is flat, with banal, witless, boring or even annoying lines.

The montage is incoherent, although we want it to be dynamic and fun

Directing? It's like it doesn't even exist. Did this movie really have a director?

Don't waste time to watch it. There are a thousand and one much more interesting things that you can do during this time.

In conclusion, I give grade 1.

Retreat Vama Veche is a disaster from start to finish. The lack of direction, uninspired writing, and mismanagement of characters make it a frustrating watch. It's hard to believe that Romanian filmmakers, with so much cultural richness to draw from, could produce something so superficial and empty. There's no humor, no heart, no artistry-just a disappointing waste of time and potential.

The film goes nowhere, quite literally. The premise of a getaway to Vama Veche is misleading, as most of the so-called "action" unfolds in a villa or back in Bucharest. There's no trace of the bohemian, carefree vibe that makes Vama Veche iconic. Instead, we get an incoherent series of events that feel like filler material rather than a story. The plot, if we can call it that, meanders aimlessly with no real conflict, resolution, or meaning. It's as though the writers were making it up as they went along, scribbling dialogue between takes.

The characters are one of the film's biggest failures. Each one feels plucked from a completely different movie, creating an ensemble cast with no chemistry or purpose.

Laura Cosoi's character, allegedly a CEO, behaves nothing like one. Instead, she comes off as a clichéd caricature of a "horny jobless woman with a rich dad" with no depth or credibility. Her actions are baffling and completely out of step with her supposed role.

The bride-to-be is insufferable, grating on the nerves with every scene. There's no charm, no emotional anchor-just an unbearable presence that makes you want to fast-forward.

Adela Popescu's character and the pregnant wife showed hints of comedic potential, but any such moments were quickly squandered by poor writing and lackluster execution. These two could have injected life into the story, but the film simply didn't know what to do with them.

The dialogue is wooden and emotionless, with lines delivered superficially. The script lacks wit, depth, or even a coherent message. It's all surface-level fluff, devoid of any philosophy, lessons, or insight.

The film's biggest insult is its refusal to do a smooth transition between the scenes, they end abruptly, leaving the audience to imagine what needs to happen in that scene. This lazy storytelling makes the film feel like an unfinished draft rather than a polished product.

Skip this one or leave it as background noise while doing your house chores especially now that it is on Netflix.

This was probably meant to be a tiktok story, turned out too long when editing so they tried to see if cinema is a better fit. Fear not, Romanian content quality rating won't suffer too much, just like TikTok videos, lowest quality in the world in script, direction, "actors" play. Don't be fooled, none of them are actually actors, they are old-fashioned influencers trying to grow their online profile through this. Don't waste your time on it. Go, watch a real movie, this is not one of them. Such a waste of time and space on the streaming platforms and waste of money like most recent Romanian movies that are being made.

"Retreat Vama Veche" is an absolute disaster from start to finish. The casting is a clear indication of the film's overall quality. The actors are third-rate at best, with performances that are painfully wooden and devoid of any real talent. The script is a jumbled mess, full of cliches and inconsistencies. The cast is filled with a parade of talentless wannabes, including a mix of obnoxious "cocalari" and vapid "pitipoance," along with washed-up celebrities who clearly haven't aged well. It's as if the filmmakers threw together a bunch of random people and hoped for the best.

It's painfully obvious that the only reason this film exists is to secure funding from the National Film Center (AFCN) and to give these mediocre actors a chance to shine (or rather, to continue to fade into obscurity). The entire production feels cheap and amateurish, and the end result is a truly painful viewing experience. Avoid this film at all costs.

While RO cinema usually puts lower quality stuff, this is just garbage! Don't watch it!

The acting, if we can call it that, is something out of a bad kids play, the script is trash, basically everything is unwatchable.

No idea why they made it, but maybe they should rethink movie making, cuz the people behind this are just bad at it.

As for the ladies cast in the main roles, uhh, talk about cringe acting. They give a new meaning to the word bad actor, if they can be called that.

I managed to see maybe 20 min from it and then decided that my time can't be wasted anymore on this!

You are better off looking at your toes, than watching this!