Alzarfa: Escape from Hanhounia Hell

This is how Telfaz11 think now: "what does the market want to see? Hmmm let's do a checklist: 1- Famous ppl: ok we get cheap tiktok influencers to cutdown marketing budget 2- Familiar genre: Ok Saudis love Prison Break let's have a story there.

3- White Guest star: hmm.. any Prison Break star we can afford? Tbag? Ok let's do that.

Oh wait! Telfazz11 producer/actor Ibrahim wants to be in this, and have a showdown with Robert Knepper at the end even if it is irrelevant and ruins the story? GREAT! Let's do it!"

Only when they stop pathetically care about what the audience want, and focus on good stories will they succeed. Otherwise, their films will be easily forgotten.

This isn't a film - it's an insult to cinema itself. A shameless waste of money and resources on brain-dead trash that degrades both the audience's intelligence and the industry's standards. Supporting garbage like this is a direct betrayal of real talent and meaningful storytelling. Those in charge are either blind, incompetent, or simply don't care. The result? Fake prestige, zero substance, and a market drowning in manufactured mediocrity.

Continuing to pump money into projects like this is proof that decision-makers either lack basic taste or have no respect for the audience. It's surface-level PR, empty exposure, and a constant cycle of hollow productions, while genuine, thought-provoking cinema gets ignored and buried under waves of forgettable trash.

I genuinely don't know what I did to deserve the experience that is Al Zarfa. Maybe I wronged someone in a past life? Maybe the universe simply hates me? Because there is NO other explanation for how this movie - if we can even call it that - managed to crawl its way onto a screen in front of me.

The plot? Nonexistent. The acting? I've seen more emotion from a bag of cement. The "zarfa" itself? What even IS that? A discount giraffe? A CGI monstrosity? A poorly made plush toy possessed by the spirit of bad filmmaking? I still have nightmares.

Every scene feels like it was shot in one take, with a director who was either asleep or actively trying to sabotage the project. The dialogue? I've heard more realistic conversations in automated phone menus. And don't get me started on the editing - jump cuts, awkward pauses, random zoom-ins - it's as if the editor spilled coffee on the keyboard and just rolled with the chaos.

Watching Al Zarfa felt like an endurance test. By the 30-minute mark, I was rooting for the zarfa to go full monster mode and just end it all - for the characters, for me, for everyone involved.

In short, this movie shouldn't just be avoided - it should be locked in a vault, buried deep underground, and never spoken of again. If you're considering watching Al Zarfa, do yourself a favor: stare at a wall for two hours instead. It'll be a more fulfilling, coherent, and entertaining experience.

The movie is bad in terms of the idea and dialogue. It has no goal and I didn't understand what he meant exactly!! It was just famous characters that were gathered and filmed without a clear scenario. I really regretted the price of the ticket and the time I spent waiting for this movie and watching it. I wished I had seen another movie and not seen this shameful work that does not live up to the taste of the Arab viewer.

To be fair, the scenes with the actor Arouj were the best I found in this film. The man has a popular and simple charisma that any viewer can accept.

I hope the production company learns from their mistakes in the future and produces films worth watching and works harder in writing them.

If you've ever wondered what would happen if a Snapchat ad was stretched into a full-length feature film, look no further (Al Zarfa) is here to answer that. A movie that somehow thinks adding TikTok and Snapchat influencers equals star power. The cast? A collection of social media personalities trying (and failing) to act. It's like watching a long, painfully awkward skit on Instagram Live, but in a cinema.

The plot? If you can even call it that. Gold gets stolen. That's it. That's the whole "twist." And what do they name this oh-so-mysterious treasure? "The Legendary." That's right, zero creativity, zero depth, and zero effort.

And then, as if that wasn't enough, they throw in Robert Knepper. Yes, that Robert Knepper.. famous for one role two decades ago and completely irrelevant now. Bringing him in and pretending the movie is "international" is like Al Hilal signing a retired international footballer who hasn't played a game in 20 years and calling him a "world-class" star.