Silent Bite

The only excuse to use such a lame title as "Silent Bites" for a vampire-flick that takes place around Christmas, is when it's some hilarious horror-comedy. Well, it's not even close. It's a very bad acted, non scary, tedious, and extremely unfunny failure. They tried to mirror "From Dusk 'Till Dawn" (a bunch of bankrobbers takes refuge in a hotel, only to find out that it's invested by dangerous vampires), but they couldn't even fill the tips of those iconic shoes. The characters are all equally uninspiring, the dialogues are terrible, the special effects (if any) are amateurish, and the story itself is totally insipid. It's like watching a very bad 1960's wannabe horror flick. The only thing remotely endurable was the Prancer-character, but mostly because Luke Avoledo was so endearingly cute.

It's hard to fathom why producers come up with such lame projects, who do they think to pleasure with it?! Of course a low budget doesn't help to make a top movie, but it neither should be an excuse to settle for this kind of uninspired rubbish.

I wasn't expecting much from this, but have to admit I was pleasantly surprised how fun and entertaining this was. A little slow at first but rapidly picked up steam. The last 30 minutes was really good. Led by the always reliable British actor Simon Phillips as leader of a gang who just robbed a bank and are hiding out in a motel on Christmas Eve. Little do they know that a bunch a female Vampires are also staying there. Sort of a clever scenario with some comedy elements make this totally watchable which is more than I can say about many other recent theatrical releases. The acting with some of the supporting players may not be up to standards because of the low budget, but it somehow all seems to work here anyway.

Initially I found this movie's cover to be interesting enough to make me take notice of it. And truth be told, there is just something alluring about the myth of vampires. And with it being a horror movie that I hadn't heard about, combined with it being a vampire movie, of course I had to check out what writer Simon Phillips and director Taylor Martin had to offer.

Well if you sort of imagine if you think "From Dusk 'Till Dawn", but on a shoestring budget, then you have "Silent Bite", oh and add that it takes place during the Christmas holidays. Writer Simon Phillips put together a fair enough script, which made it adequate for a single viewing. You're not in for anything grand here, but the movie is watchable.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble, and that was something that helped me get through "Silent Bite", as I enjoy watching unfamiliar talents on the screen. For the most parts, the acting performances were fair. But they made a mistake of casting Sayla de Goede for the role of the vampire mother, as her acting stood out like a sore thumb in contrast to the other actors and actresses, and not in a good way.

Visually then the movie was okay. It wasn't a movie that relied heavily on special effects, so don't expect a grand Hollywood spectacle of over-the-top CGI effects. I have to say that the vampire effects, with them having make-up penned bloodstreams or whatever it was supposed to be, around the eyes, just didn't really do it for me.

If you enjoy vampire movies, perhaps you will get a kick, or perhaps I should say a bite, out of watching "Silent Bite".

It is, however, not a movie that warrants more than just a single viewing, as the script just isn't solid enough for repeated viewings.

My rating of director Taylor Martin's 2024 movie "Silent Bite" lands on a four out of ten stars.

It is Christmas Eve. Five criminals in Christmas costumes have robbed a bank. Four of them arrive at a roadside motel to get a room. Unbeknownst to them, there are beautiful women holding a girl captive in the hotel and they are vampires.

This starts on the wrong foot. It doesn't make sense that these criminals dressed in their costumes are booking a room while brazenly waving their guns. At that moment, I realized that form is more important than substance for this one. Obviously, somebody had the brilliant idea of Christmas characters going against vampires. Almost as obvious, those people did not think it all the way through.

As far as low budget Christmas horror films go...this one isn't half bad!

The story begins with a group of bank robbers- after a rather successful Christmas Eve heist- who hold up in a seedy motel, while one of their team acts as a decoy, leading the police on a wild goose chase.

Though, they aren't the only ne'er-do-wells that are hiding out there.

As a coven of vampiresses have taken up residence in another room...just waiting for these men to show up...so that they can feed on them.

A present their "mother" has set up for them, for the holidays.

Which only leaves them with one choice...to fight for their lives till the sun comes up...

The writing, acting (for the most part), and plot structure are actually pretty decent.

Not great.

But certainly tolerable enough to keep things entertaining.

And there's some clever exploitation of the lore.

Which keeps things fresh.

It didn't have great reviews...so I wasn't expecting much out of it.

Leaving me pleasantly surprised with how good it actually is.

4 out of 10.