Shape: When Idolisation Leads to Exclusion

"Shape" (2024) claims to be an exploration of body image in the gay community, but in reality, it's a thinly veiled attack on fit, white, masculine men under the guise of social commentary. Rather than presenting a nuanced discussion on body diversity, the film blames white gay men for being the standard of desirability and paints them as the villains of the dating world simply for putting in effort to stay fit.

The documentary is led by three hosts-a skinny gay Asian man, an obese Indian man wearing fake press-on nails, and a bearded "bear" type-who spend most of the film discussing why the white, fit, masculine ideal dominates the gay community. Instead of acknowledging that attraction is subjective and that fitness is a result of discipline and lifestyle choices, the film repeatedly frames this preference as some form of systemic oppression.

One particularly absurd segment involves a discussion about body dysmorphia among white gay men, where the film acknowledges that many fit men struggle with self-perception and mental health due to the pressures of maintaining their bodies. However, instead of treating this as a legitimate issue, the documentary uses it as yet another way to attack fit white men, suggesting that even their struggles are somehow problematic or a tool of oppression against others.

Rather than promoting real body positivity or a conversation about self-improvement, "Shape" leans into grievance culture and reinforces the idea that if you take care of yourself and fit conventional standards of attractiveness, you are part of the problem. It completely ignores the reality that anyone-regardless of race or body type-who puts in the work can improve their desirability. Instead, the film chooses to scapegoat fit, white men for simply existing and being desired.

1/10 - A documentary that thrives on resentment rather than insight.

Interesting and insightful. What is amazing is the really honest stories from those interviewed who share their experiences of how they feel in the gay community when they don't fit into the stereotype of being white and buffed and young.

It creates a narrative that highlights how people can feel in the community that can be really damaging. Honestly it was a bit hard to watch because it's so confronting, maybe because I'm a white young-ish guy. I had some idea about that this was like for gay men, but this really opened my eyes for what it can be like for some people. It actually made me thing about what it's like when you are older or coloured etc etc.

I was the counselling student whose Grindr words they used as an example in this documentary. While I wish I could rate Shape higher for tackling a topic that is long overdue, I am unable to due to its main theme of body fascism. Shape alone does not explain the rampant racism and ageism in Australia's gay communities. Having the right "shape" being a personal trainer myself doesn't open doors for me as I am still deemed as being of the wrong race. Even though the discussion of shape is more attractive and palatable, the documentary did itself a disservice by not focusing on the true culprit, internalised homophobia, which gets a criminally brief mention towards the end of its 90 minutes.

Many gay people are obsessed with hegemonic masculinity because they have faced derision for being unmanly due to their flamboyant tendencies or lack of heterosexuality. Words such as "that's so gay" have widespread usage in denoting something that is lesser than or undesirable. In an attempt to compensate for their perceived defectiveness, gay men will try to prove just how manly they can be by outdoing straight men in hegemonic masculine traits. The ideal man in straight white culture is supposedly a burly lumberjack, not something that I, as an East Asian man, can aspire to resemble. He is also virile and in peak physical condition, which excludes most over the age of 50.

Another way gay men overcompensate is their pursuit of all things shiny and glamorous (especially at Pride events and dance parties) to demonstrate to the straight world how fabulous and unaffected by homophobia they are. But are they really? In the words of Jinkx Monsoon, "Delusion, convince yourself". In reality, countless gay men are hurling themselves into the embrace of casual sex, drugs and alcohol to avoid feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. The self-loathing, inadequacy and loneliness are why they are so dependent on external validation, because they have not reached a point of self-acceptance or even self-awareness.

This thirst for validation, having the right body and belonging to the right crowd, is what foments exclusion because they are only seeing other people for what they can do for them and their self-esteem. Another younger and attractive white male has greater gay currency than someone who is older or not white. Also, liking someone who looks like you and they liking you in return is validation of one's existence. It is unlikely in many cases that they will ever fully resolve their self-loathing, but there is an opportunity to commandeer their need for validation as a key motivator to include greater diversity of age ranges and ethnicities in their social circles if being too homogeneous is regarded as unprogressive and a threat to their self-image.