Sweet Bobby: il mio incubo

On-line scams of different types are now almost a staple of the TV schedules. This Netflix production told the story of how a mature, (35 years old at the outset), seemingly intelligent single career woman was romanced on Facebook by a man she'd only met once years before and even then accidentally and fleetingly. This was the Bobby of the title, a handsome, successful and well-connected male (an important consideration in the Sikh community of which she is a member) to whom she ended up in an "affair" which runs for over ten years without their ever meeting.

At the time they first hooked up on-line, Kirat, the woman in question, was a successful London-based career woman. Her day job was as a marketing executive, while in her off-time she deejayed on a local radio station. She was also in a long-term relationship and seemed ready to at last marry, with the point being strongly made that this was very much a desired outcome by her family, as the testimonies of both her parents and others close to her make clear.

However, when her romance breaks down, she takes comfort in the messages she starts to receive from Bobby, who appears to be free too and is keen to get to know her better. So their cyber-connection deepens with all-night Skype calls, gift-giving and soon enough, professions of love, all without ever physically getting together. Kirat gets to know Bobby's circle of friends and also starts inter-communicating with them, but matters take a dramatic turn when Bobby is apparently shot and badly injured in Kenya and as a result enters Witness Protection in New York for his safety. His injuries mean he can't speak or appear on video but still the messages keep coming, leading up to a marriage proposal which Kirat ecstatically accepts. As Bobby slowly recovers, all she needs now is for him to finish the protection programme and actually meet up with her so that she can introduce him to the family and get on with the expected happy-ever-after marriage and succeeding parenthood.

But when he continues to prove elusive even after his "return" to England, alarm bells at last go off for Kirat with disastrous consequences for her, when after she tracks him down in person, an almost unbelievable revelation explodes the whole concocted story.

Watching this compelling documentary, one is again reminded of how easily apparently responsible people fall for on-line tricksters again and again although the eventual reveal in this one was especially difficult to fathom in terms of motive. It is very easy to criticise Kirat herself for being so foolish as to allow herself to be strung along for so very long without becoming suspicious about what turned out to be a fantastic web of deceit contrived by her long-awaited dream man. It has to be said too that her neediness and susceptibility do occasionally portray her on-camera as a touch delusional and even as something of a fantasist but nothing can excuse the actions of the callous and twisted perpetrator who finally runs out of loom and is finally caught up in their own web of lies.

As a programme, it was sometimes difficult to watch Kirat walk and talk us through her obviously painful story. Told with mock-ups of the texting and messaging which were exchanged and the staging of key events as they occurred, complete with blurry images of actors playing them out, this was another cautionary tale of modern life and the pitfalls of wanting something too much. The only saving grace for Kirat here appeared to be that at least she wasn't swindled out of a large amount of money but she certainly got cleaned out emotionally. As the old saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is but try telling that to someone who thinks they're in love.

Very interesting how this sort of thing can happen. But my first thought was throughout the whole entire movie was how come they never did FaceTime? I don't know if it was mentioned in the movie if maybe I wasn't listening as to why there was no FaceTime? She was on Skype! Because that would solve the mystery straight away!

It is very sad what she has gone through. I don't know if I could've been fooled for that long tho. I would have been wanting to see them in real time! Plus also how did this female cousin trick and speak to her and sound like a man? I don't know it all sounds very suss to me. She seemed like an intelligent woman, I don't know how she could be fooled for so long?

Either way it was enjoyable at the end of the day so I gave it a 7.

Kirat falls for a man named Bobby, who seems to enjoy a jet set lifestyle, unfortunately the relationship remains an online one for years, and when a meeting is arranged, there's always an excuse.

People are calling her out on stupidity, naivety and more, I get that, but I'd say it's worse than that, I'd call her out on need, a desperation to be loved, and on that basis, I'd say what happened to her was cruel.

For a documentary it's just too long, it really does lag in the middle, if it was punchier, it would have been so much better. It's definitely an interesting story, though I feel that most people, self included will be wondering just how on Earth it happened, after four years.

I struggled to understand the whole point of the catfish, there was nothing financial, it just seemed twisted, what did they hope to gain, it should have resulted in some sort of prosecution.

Bizarre isn't the word.

6/10.

The story itself is interesting but I would have wished to hear more about the intrinsic motivation what made her stay in that 'relationship' for so long. You just hear a story of someone being catfished. Are there any reasons given why this could go on for ages? Not really. Judging from their conversations he didnt even present himself as a knight in shining armour, rather opposite. And the documentary fails to deliver an answer or at least some kind of explanation. Probably 90% of the documentary is about both of them exchanging messages. Thats it. I was in a similar relationship and the motives to remain in this are deeply psychological and this documentary could have investigated the psychological side too in order to maybe help others who are in a similar situation and to make it more interesting. If a man is interested but doesnt want to meet you, he is either married or in a relationship, is a fraudster or you are being catfished. There is nothing in between. I wished the documentary was a bit more elaborate and not just 90% showing messages. It is difficult to understand why someone as intelligent acts so gullible and the show does not give any answers at all. It was a bit boring in between too. I didnt quit because I wanted to know whats behind all of this.

Alltogether it is a nice time pass but dont expect too much.

Cathfishing is awfull and this lady didn't deserve it... However... 9 years until she realised what is going on? Took me 9 minutes to know the whole story. How many silly excuses can one accept and keep goin? Anyways.. The documentary itself is extremely long and except the age of the protagonist for each year included in the catfishing we don't get much information. We learned who did it (but that is super obvious from the start) and how sad and devastating it was. The rest is reading a whole lot of texts and listening to voice messages. The story itself is worth 5 minutes. Well kids, be carefull... people on the internet are sometimes someone else! Shocker.