SaidNDone

I tried to go into this movie with an open mind despite having over 1000 hours in the Borderlands franchise and already being infuriated by the awful casting choices but despite my best efforts this movie's disrespect for the source material pissed me off within the first 5 minutes.

I could write paragraphs about every awful casting and plot choice they took, each unnecessarily diverging from the source material more than the last (basically every casting except Moxxi, Krieg, and Tina seemed almost intentionally poor, and even then Tina/Moxxi's characters were rewritten as to be unrecognizable).

However I will just say this - if they had just chosen to copy the BL2 or BL:TPS plots with half the budget and no-name actors that at least looked and sounded like the characters they were supposed to be playing (or maybe with actors that weren't 30-50 years older than the characters) I believe this movie could have at least been okay-ish. I really don't think anyone went to see this movie because you paid Jack Black millions of dollars to butcher Claptrap's voice when you could have just hired the actual voice-actor for 1/100th the price.

Instead they decided to set $100m on fire "Hollywoodifying" the games + making it PG-13 in an idiotic attempt at a breakout hit, resulting in some bizzaro world version of Borderlands that fans of the franchise will abhor and general audiences will fall asleep watching.

The only positive thing I have to say about this movie is that they at least did a good job with the actual sets/setting.

"Sweethearts" has fragments of a decent movie but overall doesn't work due to horrible pacing and not enough focus on the main relationship. Basically the first and last 10 minutes of the movie which focus on the main characters are solid while the rest of the movie is a complete disaster.

Way too much time is spent on pointless cliches in the side character's subplot and the inane misadventure to find their 'sweethearts'. This leads to an underdeveloped relationship between the main characters, causing me to not really care about them at all.

They should have tightened the plot and focused significantly more time on the main characters and their relationship and I think this could have at least been an average romantic comedy instead of the (mostly) derivative snorefest it ended up being.

"Road House" feels like the highest budget 'made for TV' movie ever. Despite the money thrown at it, blockbuster director, and casting of Jake Gyllenhaal the movie overall falls completely flat with awful dialogue, uninteresting characters, and a storyline so thin you can see through it.

The only positive about this movie is there were some very creative shots in the fight scenes, but even those were relatively uneven. And Connor McGregor was given far too much (poorly written) dialogue which combined with his vapid delivery takes you right out of the movie.

Overall it feels like "Road House" was the product of someone giving a 13 year old boy absolute control of a Hollywood production. The upside to this is the chaotic mess they left behind is somewhat entertaining.