NarniaIsAwesome

I hate it when film makers treat the audience like they're stupid. We don't need to be handed every piece of obvious information; we can figure it out. We have a brain. On the other hand, a film's job is to present a story to us, from beginning to end. The movie is supposed to be the entire experience; why make a film if people will have to Google the plot afterwards? If your story needs further explanation, you haven't told a story, you've told a snippet of a story.

This is one of the main reasons 'Tenet' is underwhelming. A confusing story is one thing, for it can eventually be figured out. But this script is actually murky, reasons and plotlines hidden and distorted with no explanation. What's worse, the characters always seem to know exactly what's going on all the time. They don't help guide us through the maze, they drag us through behind them.

The film's other flaw is how wasted the idea is. As stated in the movie, it's not time travel, it's time inversion. Quite different, but the only payoff we get is fighting a rich dude who's a jerk. I honestly didn't think there would be a stereotypical world-hating villain in this movie, but that's what we get. His presence mucks up what would've been a more interesting story. Also, the rules of going into time inversion are hilariously cliched - things like "Don't touch your past self or you'll explode" or "Hey, that person I saw earlier was actually ME!"

That being said, there are a few exciting action scenes and the reverse fights are kind of cool. The actors are doing their best and it's not their fault that you can barely hear some of their important dialogue (thank you, sound mixer).

I get the feeling this was almost a vanity project on Christopher Nolan's part. It's been a little while since he made one of his signature "complicated" features and wanted to make this one as artsy-fartsy as possible. Two or more viewings would be required to understand it properly.

As I wrap this up, remember that a good movie isn't one you have to watch twice. A good movie is one you want to watch twice. 'Tenet' is the former. If you want a good film that messes with time, just watch 'Back to the Future' again.

What can I say about "Twilight" that hasn't been said before? Despite the film's success, it is widely known that it's just not very good. Well, bite your lip and grab your sparkly boyfriend, and let's get started.

Let's start with the plot itself: a human girl, Bella, falls deeply in love with a vampire, Edward. I understand that it's probably supposed to be a metaphor for unconditional love, but it doesn't tackle the subject tastefully. If you take it at face value, Bella is completely okay with the fact that her boyfriend is DEAD. Throughout the film, Edward and other soulless characters explain that controlling their desire to drink blood is extremely difficult, and he even admits that he still wants to consume her. However, the tale moves on with Bella accepting this and trusting him implicitly. She puts in her life in danger several times by associating with the vampire family and getting in the middle of their feuds. Girl, at some point you need to realize that he isn't worth risking getting your head torn off. He is not even comparable to the Beast in any "Beauty and the Beast" story - there is no redemption shown. He is a ghoul.

Now for the characters, starting with Bella. As stated many, many times before, she is one of the worst female characters of all time. It seems that our story is trying to be sweet, and show how she opens up when Edward gets into her heart. But... she actually doesn't. On the outside, she is empty. On the inside, she is empty, also. There is no turning point where she truly comes out of her shell and becomes vibrant and happy. With or without her blood-sucking boyfriend, she is bland and depressed. She has no interests or character arcs aside from Edward. Honestly, this film does a terrible job at portraying a "shy girl." Shy girls don't gawk and drool at their crushes, and they aren't always depressed. It showcases only two types of girls: the snob (Anna Kendrick's character) and Bella. In other words, 'irritation' and 'emptiness.' To my knowledge, men are not attracted to either extreme, yet dreary Bella becomes the object of every boy's affection at her school.

Edward takes second place for Worst Character Ever. He is as bland and one-dimensional as Bella, except he sparkles. Aside from the fact that he is a nosferatu, he is the moodiest and most whiny guy I've ever seen. He stalks Bella, watches her sleep, gaslights her, sends mixed signals, and leers A LOT. But apparently it's okay because he's a vampire. Not to mention that Robert Pattinson just looks really creepy in this role.

Finally, we come to the movie itself. So, poorly written characters and plot aside, is it at least nice to look at? The answer is no, it's not. The film quality reminds me of a found footage horror flick: dark and shot at awkward angles. The acting is (obviously) painful. It's like everyone was acting at gunpoint. I actually don't blame the performers for this, as there's really nothing one can do with a script that requires such tedium. There's as much staring and gaping in this as there is 'looking up' in Spielberg movies. Also, the soundtrack adds to the nauseam, with odd and annoying guitar riffs throughout. On a final note, the film is just plain boring. Nothing really "happens" until the final act, and even then things are slow and uninteresting.

I would sum up with a conclusion... but I think you know where I stand on this...