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The 'art' of literary massacres

by jgcorrea • Created 6 years ago • Modified 1 week ago
Books are most usually better than their relevant, derivative movies. Books let you imagine the settings and the events happening in the stories. They are also more detailed than movies because movies sometimes must leave out some important details. Movies tend to last about two hours, while book reading takes longer time. There are cases in which it would really be impossible for Hollywood to work miracles, taking into account a number of bad books that no director, however good, could possibly rescue.
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  • 79 titles
  • La vie privée (2006)

    1. La vie privée

    20061h 15m
    4.1 (22)
    DirectorZina ModianoStarsOuassini EmbarekMarie ModianoClaire Nadeau
    Henry James' notebook entry describes the title story of this collection as " a rank fantasy". This should have been a very funny fantasy, satirizing celebrities of all sorts. The Wheel of Time is a more serious book.This, however, is impossible to abridge as a synopsis: various folk congregate at a well-appointed country house – somewhere between an artistic salon, a writers' retreat, and a gathering of pals. Mildly surreal shenanigans ensue, a bit Bunuel, a bit Rivette; one of the more unusual, weird and ultimately original literary adaptations.
  • The Portrait of a Lady (1996)

    2. The Portrait of a Lady

    19962h 24mPG-1360Metascore
    6.2 (13K)
    An American girl inherits a fortune and falls into a misguided relationship with a gentleman confidence artist whose true nature, including a barbed and covetous disposition, turns her life into a nightmare.
    DirectorJane CampionStarsNicole KidmanJohn MalkovichBarbara Hershey
    I agree with the user who describes this travesty as ¨a hodgepodge of bits and pieces, wrong approaches, anachronisms and undeveloped narrative plot lines, which converge to make a most unsatisfactory adaptation and a completely twisted view of the heroine, Isabel Archer.¨
  • Illeana Douglas, Noah Wyle, and Kate Mara in The Californians (2005)

    3. The Californians

    20051h 27mPG
    4.7 (477)
    Caught between Olive's righteousness and Gavin's affection, the idealistic and innocent Zoe must choose between a cause she's grown up supporting, or the affections of a man who stands for everything she believes is wrong.
    DirectorJonathan ParkerStarsNoah WyleIlleana DouglasKate Mara
    "The Californians" is director Jonathan Parker's attempt to update Henry James' "The Bostonians" as a socially relevant romantic comedy. Leaden, obvious, somnambulant & unfunny.
  • Carmel Myers, George Periolat, and George Walsh in Slave of Desire (1923)

    4. Slave of Desire

    19231h 10mPassed
    2.9 (19)
    Poet Raphael de Valentin is down on his luck until a friend introduces him into society. He meets the Countess Fedora, and after she reads his poems, his work becomes an overnight sensation.
    DirectorGeorge D. BakerStarsGeorge WalshBessie LoveCarmel Myers
    Balzac never for a second imagined when he wrote "La Peau de Chagrin," that it would be presented years afterward in film form under the title of "Slave of Desire." It may be that the producers realizing the liberties they have taken with the author's story, decided to call it by a new name, the English one being, "The Wild Ass's Skin."
  • Ali Faulkner and Tory Taranova in Butcher Boys (2012)

    5. Butcher Boys

    20121h 26mR
    3.5 (1.7K)
    A birthday celebration at a fancy restaurant leads to some friends' encounter with flesh-peddling cannibals.
    DirectorsDuane GravesJustin MeeksStarsAli FaulknerJohnny WalterDerek Lee Nixon
    Supposedly inspired by Jonathan Swift's cannibalistic tale A Modest Proposal, the Boneboys are international predators who deal in human flesh - dead or alive. Their hunting grounds are the cities of the world. No further comments.
  • A Cartomante (2004)

    6. A Cartomante

    20041h 30m
    3.8 (189)
    Rita is about to marry a wealthy physician, Dr. Augusto Vilela. One night, Vilela's best friend, Camilo, is brought to the hospital, dying from an overdose. Vilela saves his life and introduces him to his fiancée. Rita and Camilo fall in love and, confused about what to do, the girl goes to a fortuneteller to seek for advice.
    DirectorsWagner de AssisPablo UrangaStarsDeborah SeccoLuigi BaricelliIlya São Paulo
  • Maria Fernanda Cândido, Bruno Garcia, and Marcos Palmeira in Dom (2003)

    7. Dom

    20031h 31m
    5.3 (308)
    Free adaptation of Machado de Assis's "Dom Casmurro". Bento marries an actress, and soon afterwards she gets pregnant. He begins to suspect the child isn't his, but his best friend's.
    DirectorMoacyr GóesStarsMarcos PalmeiraMaria Fernanda CândidoBruno Garcia
    This one made Machado de Assis roll in his grave. Horrible dialogue and corny acting.
  • A Very Crazy Asylum (1970)

    8. A Very Crazy Asylum

    19701h 40m
    5.7 (166)
    A new priest comes to a Brazilian coastal town and builds an insane asylum. Eventually the whole population ends up in the asylum.
    DirectorNelson Pereira dos SantosStarsNildo ParenteIsabel RibeiroArduíno Colassanti
    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065430/reviews?ref_=tttr_ql_op_3
  • The Sound and the Fury (2014)

    9. The Sound and the Fury

    20141h 41mTV-MA38Metascore
    4.9 (1.3K)
    A look at the trials and tribulations of the Compson family, living in the Deep South during the early 20th century.
    DirectorJames FrancoStarsJames FrancoTim Blake NelsonScott Haze
    I agree with critic Matt Hoffman: ¨One can say that Faulkner is unfilmable, but any work will be unfilmable when it is being adapted by a talentless director. In this case, the fault of the film’s issues stem completely from James Franco and not at all with the difficulty in Faulkner’s writing. Hopefully, after two failed outings, the actor will learn to leave Faulkner’s masterful work alone. Although knowing him, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him try his hand at adapting one of the author’s works again.¨
  • As I Lay Dying (2013)

    10. As I Lay Dying

    20131h 50mR50Metascore
    5.3 (4.3K)
    Based on the classic novel by William Faulkner, first published in 1930, "As I Lay Dying" is the story of the death of Addie Bundren and her family's quest to honor her last wish to be buried in the nearby town of Jefferson.
    DirectorJames FrancoStarsJames FrancoTim Blake NelsonJim Parrack
    James Franco's vanity did not do anything to enhance the cinematic experience. Also, and anyway, as far as filmmaking is concerned, I nearly always demand the use of a tripod, a crane or maybe some rails. Camera movements without a steadicam make me kinda sick.
  • Heart of Darkness (1994)

    11. Heart of Darkness

    19941h 40mTV-14TV Movie
    5.7 (2.2K)
    A trading company manager travels up an African river to find a missing outpost head and discovers the depth of evil in humanity's soul.
    DirectorNicolas RoegStarsTim RothJohn MalkovichIsaach De Bankolé
    A literary massacre
    jgcorrea (1 March 2023)
    Why do movies usually change things from the original book? Some changes are made because they would supposedly make for better film storytelling, id est something that might work as plot exposition in the book wouldn't work as well if filmed that same way. Well, it ain't the case in here. The present changes created new conflicts for the characters, which weren't there in Conrad's novella. When you read a book, you can interpret the plot and the story to your personal liking and cutural formation. Rather than movies, books allow your mind to be more creative. Furthermore, they are much more detailed.
  • Bloom (2003)

    12. Bloom

    20031h 53mR
    5.5 (418)
    Adapted from James Joyce's Ulysses, Bloom is the enthralling story of June 16th, 1904 and a gateway into the consiousness of its three main characters: Stephen Dedalus, Molly Bloom and the extraordinary Leopold Bloom.
    DirectorSean WalshStarsStephen ReaAngeline BallHugh O'Conor
    I agree with critic Rachel Cameron: ¨Sean Walsh's film remains a mostly dull and uninventive affair. Workaday cinematography and sets devoid of atmosphere don't help, but it's the reliance on voiceovers that really starts to bore: Joyce's famous stream-of-consciousness is reduced to actors wandering about matching thoughtful looks to dense dialogue drawn straight from the page.¨
  • Jean-Claude Brialy in Éducation sentimentale (1962)

    13. Éducation sentimentale

    19621h 35m
    5.9 (178)
    Frédéric, a shy small-town man, falls in love with Anne, a middle class woman married to Didier, who cheats on her with top model Barbara. Catherine, a very determined woman, is secretly in love with Frédéric and in order to keep him away from Anne, pushes him into Barbara's arms. After a while, she gives herself to him. On the other hand, Didier is forced to leave the country due to a swindle. Anne decides to follow him but, before leaving, she exchanges a last kiss with Frédéric. Catherine understands she has lost the game. Frédéric remains by himself.
    DirectorAlexandre AstrucStarsJean-Claude BrialyMarie-José NatDawn Addams
    Stick to the Bovary versions available, as far as Flaubertiana is concerned. Astruc was a fine ¨auteur¨ but he stumbled badly here and modernized a literary masterpiece by simplifying it grossly.
  • Cabaret Mineiro (1980)

    14. Cabaret Mineiro

    19801h 15m
    5.8 (133)
    Adventurer travels by train through the State of Minas Gerais, Brazil, meeting old and new lovers and remembers love-affairs of his youth.
    DirectorCarlos Alberto Prates CorreiaStarsNelson DantasTamara TaxmanTânia Alves
    from Guimaraes Rosa's Soroco, Sua Mãe, Sua Filha
  • The Bawdy Adventures of Tom Jones (1976)

    15. The Bawdy Adventures of Tom Jones

    19761h 34mR
    4.4 (188)
    Tom Jones, a maid's son adopted by the nobleman she worked for, now all grown up must run away from home when he is set up by his jealous cousin. He has several adventures and women on his way to town where his possible salvation awaits.
    DirectorCliff OwenStarsNicky HensonTrevor HowardTerry-Thomas
  • Joseph Andrews (1977)

    16. Joseph Andrews

    19771h 39mR
    5.6 (698)
    Lady Booby alias "Belle" (Ann-Margret), the lively wife of the fat landed squire Sir Thomas Booby (Peter Bull), has a lusty eye on the attractive, intelligent villager Joseph Andrews (Peter Firth), a Latin pupil and protégé of Parson Adams (Sir Michael Hordern), and makes him their footman. Joseph's heart belongs to a country girl, foundling Fanny Goodwill (Natalie Ogle), but his masters take him on a fashionable trip to Bath, where the spoiled society comes mainly to see and be seen, yet Sir Thomas really seeks relief for his sick foot, but drowns in the famous Roman baths. When the all but grieving lady finds Joseph's Christian virtue and true love resist her lusting passes just as well as the many ladies who fancy her footman, she fires the boy. On his way back on foot, he falls prey to highwaymen who rob him of everything, even the clothes on his back. He's found and nursed by an innkeeper's maid, which stirs lusts there, again besides his honorable conduct, but is found by the good Parson. Meanwhile, the lady consents to her cousin marrying below his station when learning the fiancée is Joseph's sister, Pamela (Karen Dotrice). The Parson barely escapes a wicked gentleman's totally unjust, all but gentle justice after being accused of the attempted rape committed by a squire he actually prevented, and comes to learn ever more about a relevant child-theft by Gypsies, but meanwhile, he, Joseph, and Fanny, fall prey again to the rapist's utter debauchery.
    DirectorTony RichardsonStarsAnn-MargretPeter FirthMichael Hordern
    Henry Fielding was neither Voltaire nor Benny Hill. As his kind of irony was completely different, the notes here sound false.
  • Stéphane Mallarmé in Toute révolution est un coup de dés (1977)

    17. Toute révolution est un coup de dés

    197711mShort
    6.3 (138)
    A group of actors declaim excerpts from Mallarmé's 'A Throw of the Dice Will Never Abolish Chance' in the cemetery where the martyrs of the Paris Commune were shot in 1871.
    DirectorsJean-Marie StraubDanièle HuilletStarsHelmut FärberMichel DelahayeGeorges Goldfayn
    Rather a tasteless joke
  • Curse of the Stone Hand (1965)

    18. Curse of the Stone Hand

    19651h 7mNot Rated
    3.1 (187)
    Compilation of two Chilean titles, the first adapted from Robert Louis Stevenson's "The Suicide Club," the second the tale of younger siblings dominated by their evil elder brother.
    DirectorsCarlos Hugo ChristensenJerry WarrenCarlos SchlieperStarsErnesto VilchesJohn CarradineChela Bon
    from Stevenson's ¨Suicide Club¨
  • Bridget Fonda and Jeff Fahey in Iron Maze (1991)

    19. Iron Maze

    19911h 44mR
    4.6 (779)
    In Corinth, a dying town 15 miles from Pittsburg: One evening, a Japanese businessman, who wanted to tear down the closed iron mills to build an amusement park, is found half dead in his mill. Bellboy Barry admits to have done it - in self defense. Chief Ruhle interrogates him and Sugito's young wife and business partners, but it takes a while, until he gets through the maze of apparently contradictory statements.
    DirectorHiroaki YoshidaStarsJeff FaheyBridget FondaHiroaki Murakami
    from Akutagawa's In a Grove
  • Molly Ringwald and Robert Lindsay in Strike It Rich (1990)

    20. Strike It Rich

    19901h 27mPG
    4.9 (212)
    A London accountant on his honeymoon gets swept away by gambling fever.
    DirectorJames ScottStarsRobert LindsayMolly RingwaldMarianne Price
    from Graham Greene's Loser Takes All
  • Eddie Griffin and Orlando Jones in Double Take (2001)

    21. Double Take

    20011h 28mPG-1325Metascore
    5.4 (8.9K)
    A man on the run takes another man's passport, only to find himself stuck with the identity of a street hustler.
    DirectorGeorge GalloStarsOrlando JonesEddie GriffinGary Grubbs
    from Graham Greene's Across the Bridge
  • Meu Destino é Pecar (1952)

    22. Meu Destino é Pecar

    19521h 16m
    5.4 (31)
    DirectorManuel PeluffoStarsAyres CamposMaria de Lourdes LebertJosé Gomes
    from Nelson Rodrigues' lesser trash
  • Otto Lara Rezende ou... Bonitinha, Mas Ordinária (1963)

    23. Otto Lara Rezende ou... Bonitinha, Mas Ordinária

    19631h 41m
    6.4 (92)
    Millionaire Heitor Wernek asks his son in law Peixoto to look amidst his employees someone that could marry his youngest daughter Maria Cecília, who had her honour disgraced after she was raped by three men.
    DirectorBilly DavisStarsJece ValadãoOdete LaraLia Rossi
    Pure garbage. The original play wasn't that good, though.
  • The Seven Kittens (1980)

    24. The Seven Kittens

    19801h 49m
    5.8 (617)
    Noronha, a low-class civil servant and his wife Gorda have four elder daughters. Silene, the youngest, is expelled from boarding school for killing a cat and newborns.
    DirectorNeville D'AlmeidaStarsAntônio FagundesAna Maria MagalhãesLima Duarte
    How not to transplant a stage play into the silver screen
  • Dickie Moore and Irving Pichel in Oliver Twist (1933)

    25. Oliver Twist

    19331h 20mPassed
    5.1 (441)
    An orphan boy in 1830s London is abused in a workhouse, then falls into the clutches of a gang of thieves.
    DirectorWilliam J. CowenStarsDickie MooreIrving PichelWilliam 'Stage' Boyd
    Oldie but NOT goodie

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